I'm 23, I have a boyfriend who's not handsome, not rich, and 8 years older than me, but I he's so good to me and I just feel that he's perfect for me.. He's just the guy I've been looking for.. Unfortunately, my parents dislike him just because he's not handsome, he has a brother who's married to a girl from different race, he's a musician ( my parents believe that musician can't even afford their own life and that musicians are unfaithful ).. I think that it's unfair.. My boyfriend did nothing wrong, he was always nice to them and they never given him a chance to show them who he really is.. My mom forced me to break up with him, otherwise she would kick me out of the house ( I'm asian and in our culture someone doesn't get out of the house before they're married ). So we ( me & bf ) decided to keep the relationship and see each other behind my parents.. We've been doing this for a year.. But I feel so guilty for lying to my parents. What should I do ?
2007-02-03 03:15:24 · 11 answers · asked by Pianoholic 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Ask yourself this question. Who's life is it? I respect your parents for being traditional and protective, but they are also being selfish. Things change. Now a days you can choose to be happy.
2007-02-03 03:23:50 · answer #1 · answered by jay b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything behind your parents back.
I have found in years of my parents never liking any one I have dated that they normally have a good reason and they have a sixth sense about it. I thought the guys were great because I was blinded by what I believed was love at the time. I would get told by my parents that this guy is not right for me and that they didn't think I should be dating him. They just give their opinion though and let me figure it out for myself. Eventually I figured it out for myself that these guys aren't the best for me.
I am now with a man that my parents actually like and I love him very much. Age shouldn't matter, my guy is 6 years older than I am
2007-02-03 03:20:40 · answer #2 · answered by Just Me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be inclined to agree with the others on this question (that the parents may not be warm people) until I read that the father refused to sit next to you. That is blatant dislike in my opinion. The rest of the things you mentioned may or may not have reasonable explanations, but I doubt it. I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years but when I first entered the picture his family was extremely mean to me. The sisters put me down, his mother commented rudely about my appearance, and his dad didn't even speak to me! It hurt my feelings at first but I eventually learned not to dwell on it. I love my boyfriend and he is worth all the nasty snarls I may get from his family. At this point the dislike is not as blatant but I can still feel the tension in the air when I am around. Just remember that it is nothing you did or can do sometimes. People have unrealistic expectations for their children and may feel like no one is good enough to be with their child. Just know that your boyfriend's opinion is ultimately the only one that matters and as long as he loves you... they will just have to shutup and deal with it. =)
2016-03-29 03:01:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your boyfriend is seriously would like to live the rest of his life with you...he has to prove it. Work hard if it is so.
Parents just want the best for their daughter-it seems that it's all about money. So your bf must prove that he could afford to have a family. If music is his passion-let it be successful.
To say the truth : Good parents usually have a sharp instinct for their child. They can't say why, but they knew if there's something wrong by looking at a person that is stranger to them.
2007-02-03 03:30:16 · answer #4 · answered by elmo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would not the answer be to get married? He is your perfect guy, right? So why wait around, tie the knot.
You are in America right? If so we have a thing here called freedom. So no matter what Aisan tradition says...you can move out of the house and get a place of your own or even move in with him.
Your parents sound very controling, you should distance yourself from them as much as possible.
2007-02-03 03:22:49 · answer #5 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
parents are there to help their kids and show them the ways of life..i come from a mexican family and well some times you have to change your parents might see something that you cant see....just open your eyes to what there is out there....you should feel bad for keeping it behind your parents back....why not move out......find a job in a different town go back get more education in a different town...then you can move out and do what you want...just tell your parents that they have to trust you because they have raised you to the best of their ability see how that goes good luck
2007-02-03 04:12:59 · answer #6 · answered by helpgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, your parents DO NOT own you, or your life. If they can't see that you're happy with this guy, then make arrangements to move out on your own. Trust me, it's worth the trouble; not only will you be able to see your BF without feeling like you're hiding it from your family, but you will gain your independence, which is not a bad thing.
2007-02-03 03:20:01 · answer #7 · answered by knight2001us 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say talk to your parents, but since you're in another country, that may not work. My best advice would be if you can, come to the USA, and then you can date him with no worries. Plus, if you truly love each other, you can get married too. I'm not sure if you would be "shamed" by your family, but you'd get to be with the one you love. Your parents are wrong for not even trying to get to know him.
Ask them if they want you to be happy, or miserable.
2007-02-03 04:01:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move out of the house OR ask your parents to arrange a marriage partner for you.
2007-02-03 03:18:28 · answer #9 · answered by Thomas K 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
May be you should listen to your parents.
You should trust your parents more than us.
2007-02-03 03:33:34 · answer #10 · answered by curious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋