I have been in a relationship for 3 years and it really has sucked now for the past yeat and a half what to do

Question

In the relationship now thats lasted 3 years with 2 chilldren from my previous relationships. My bf is so lazy and dissconected that i dont even wanna make this work anymore. I am tired of trying to make things better but he just seems so DUH and almost like he really does not care. He does not spend much time with the kids,theres not interaction with them at all he is happier to give them crap all the time instead of play some game or go outside and build a snowman. I just need some answers to what to do because i am thinkin about giving the towel in and saying later babe because i need a man not a teenager he is 30 by the way lol. I want so many different things now in life that i just dont think he can offer me or the babies. HELP

Answer 1

Find a man worthy of your affections and one who will be a decent father figure for your children. That's your job now... they are out there if you look in quality places.

Answer 2

Break up this guy sounds like a lazy bum that is not good step dad material. I know it is hard after 3 years but why waste a lifetime of unhappiness with him? I am sure that you are still young so go off on your own with the kids and make a new life for yourself without him. Dont jump into another relationship too fast and dont move in with another one unless you are very serious about him, I mean marriage serious. Good luck.

Answer 3

HArd to believe your asking this but the most senible thing to do is leave him. Don't know why you haven't yet maybe you thought he would change or you would ty to change him, But all you got was a lot of bad stress because of it. So get your kids and let. Because if he hasn't grown up yet he never will. Maybe all he needis a good kick in the pants but I don't think so. SO the best thing is leave and make a good life and enjoy it without him. Whenever you need you chat with someone just IM me or e-mail me anytime.

Answer 4

Sounds like the same thing i went through. except i had been with mine for almost 7 years. i say you tell him to pack jis stuff and go. it is not worth keeping a man around that is not going to be a part in your kids' lives. you need someone to look over them and show them what it is like to have two parents together ( even if the man is not their father) give him the boot!! you and your kids will be way better off in the long run

Answer 5

Why would you consider staying any longer in a relationship where you have no legal ties and its been bad for over a year.
It sounds like you have grown and he is still where he was when you began the relationship. When it gets to the point when you have to MAKE something work, its time to move on. Cut the strings and get on with your life. Good luck.

Answer 6

Well i think you need to clear your head, tell him you and him need help. You both need to get to a marriage counselor. Seek one out, get help. But if you don't want to do that, then talk to him. Tell him how you feel and if doesn't try to change then do what you think you should to make your life better for you and the kids. If he is not what you thought he was when you started living with him then fine get rid of him. Look you need to do for you, to make you and your kids the best you can make it. If he is not online with that then as a mother you better off without him.

Answer 7

I have 3 kids from a previous marriage and I would not put up with that. I am lucky my man loves my kids. I'de say break up with him, you already have 2 kids. Like you said you don't want a teenager you need a man.

Answer 8

Well you're not in that "newly wed" stage of your relationship with your man anymore...the stage where everything is fun and amazing...its turning more into like an old married couple...even if btw your not married...
i'd say you should tell him how you feel instead of posting it up here on Yahoo! but then again he wont listen anyways lol...since he only has a DUH attitude about him...i say kick him to the curb...i'm sure you can find someone who will make your life full of fun and excitement...good luck!

Answer 9

I can tell you from experience...(my ex-wife and a later girlfriend were just like you are describing.) that the best course of action first is to sit down and try to have a heart-to-heart with your significant other. If your mate or partner or wife, bf, whatever does not want to sit down and talk to you, it can be a sign that he/she is choosing to ignore the problem instead of addressing it. You don't want to force the issue, though. Try taking some time out for yourselves, almost schedule it if you need to with that partner. You cannot be the pillar of strength in the relationship if you aren't getting the support that you need from your partner, and you cannot be emotionally strong for both of you either. Being strong for you is his job, and you for him is yours. Sometimes, even sitting down and writing a hand-written letter works too. (My ex-wife ignored me completely, and chose to be with many other men.) I tried sitting down and talking to her, but she told me that she was lonlier with me than if she was alone. If talking to him/her does not work, than it may be time to count your losses and try to get out while you have the strength and sanity to do so. I had to cut my losses and opt for a divorce while I was still strong enough to do so. A girlfriend that I had was the same way, and finally I had to sit down with her and talk through it, and try to sort things out. She became very beligerent and blameful, and I knew that it was at an end. Be stong for yourself, and for your kids. I wish you the best of luck in this trying time. (I'm 33, by the way, I've seen my fair share of relational nonsense also.)

Answer 10

DOes this man work and help pay bills? DOes he treat you good? Does your kids like him? These are all the questions you need to ask yourself. You do not sound happy and take it from me get out now, they don't change. There are nice guys out there.If you don't need him and he does nothing for you, then u will not miss him...