My Grandmother is going to be 90 in April.
She has in-home nursing and the woman stays with her 24/7.
My Grandmother is a very mean woman, barks out orders, and makes the people that have nursed for her in the past very uncomfortable.
My family would never, ever put her in a home, but is their something we can do so that she's not so difficult to live with? Or is this just an age thing and to be expected?
2007-02-03 02:39:27 · 7 answers · asked by Nunya 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It comes with age. If she was forceful at an earlier age, it gets worse as they get older. Most of it seems to come from frustration at the limitations age puts on them. My mom is 97 and she lives with us......I KNOW.
About the only thing you can do is find a caregiver that can ignore the outbursts. If you make it known that you are aware your grandmother is difficult at times, it makes it easier for the caregiver to accept it. She will not think it is a reflection on her and a problem with her performance of her duties. The caregiver should tell the grandmother when she is being ugly or rude. Tell her she wants to be as much help to her as she can, but they need to cooperate and be nice to each other. Truthfully, the grandmother may not be listening to herself and has a totally different take on her own actions.
With my mom, I bark back! Sometimes she does it just to create some action around here.....lol. Banter seems to entertain the elderly. My mother smiles entirely too much when we are arguing a point. I guess it's about as lively as it gets in their daily lives and over the past two years I've realized my mom actually enjoys arguing about things. (Good thing she has a daughter that will go head to head with her.....lol)
2007-02-03 02:48:08 · answer #1 · answered by momwithabat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Has your grandmother always been bossy and mean, or is it just in the last number or years? If she's always been that way, there's no sense in trying to change her now. If it's only been in the last few years, she may have an underlying medical reason (like alzheimers ) or some other personality altering affliction. You may not be able to change her personality, and will have to tolerate it until she's gone. This includes any caregivers she has. They should be told of her temperament before being hired, as some people have the patience of a saint and could tolerate this behaviour, while others couldn't. If your grandmother was not this type of person years ago, try and remember her as the gentle, loving soul she was, not the mean-spirited woman she has become.
2007-02-03 02:58:11 · answer #2 · answered by michellemcdougall 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gina -
You look like a smart girl. I am a grandfather and have often wondered the same thing, not that I'm mean to my kids or the people who take care of me. Here's the real deal though - If you stick your grandmother in a NH they will give her meds to calm her down and make her easier to deal with. In this state they are a zombie and I can't really recommend that treatment. My best advice to you is to get with your family and review your options. There is eldercare daycare where you can take your grandmother home every night. I highly recommend looking into it.
2007-02-03 02:47:30 · answer #3 · answered by green3ch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know many people say "I would never put my (mom, dad, grandmother) in a home". That is just plain wrong. In a retirement center, one with independent living, assisted living, and a skilled nursing facility there is so much more than one- on one care. People can move through the stages and get the care they need. They get people involved with activites and have social events. Sometimes even 'love interests" appear.
Your grandmother has nothing to do but be incorrigible- give her something to do!!!
I would hate to be in isolation at that point in my life. Kinda like prison.
2007-02-03 03:04:51 · answer #4 · answered by professorc 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try assisted living. It'll take a little bit of time but she'll make some friends, keep busy, and maybe realize how much she is being unruly with her help.
Convince her it's not a "Home" but just an apartment building with some on-site help.
2007-02-03 02:44:28 · answer #5 · answered by phillyphan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like part of her nature and therefore she wont change.As she is old then all you can do is to banter to her whims.If she needs nursing care then you and your family might need to look at reviewing the options.
2007-02-03 10:17:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is just an age thing. try to make her care giver feel good and let her know she does not mean that she is just old
2007-02-03 02:48:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋