I am 32 years married woman suffering with long time depression.?

Question

My husband is very busy he always comes late. I have 2 kids . From 1year i am finding that relationship between us is really a mere. I am there just to take care of the children serving him food and tea. Whenever he is at home he usually watch TV or he is on the phone . He never talks to me anything except the things which he needs. Whenever we go out also he is busy talking on the phone ignoring us. This is making me very nervous as such i often cry also. I dont have that much friends. Usually i am busy with my kids but finding that i have lost my married life. I have try to talk to him regarding this but he just laughs. As he is very good person he dont smoke and drink also. He doesn't much interfere what i spend or buy also but i feel very lonely . I like to shop together but here i have to handle all the matters alone. He is not bother what i am buying or doesn't show much interest what i talk.My depression makes me angry with my kids without their fault in real.

Answer 1

Firstly, if you think you are suffering from clinical depression you MUST go and see your doctor.

After that there are a couple of things you can do to help yourself.

Read about the condition - on the internet, borrow books from your local library, talk to your doctor - they can probably give you stuff to read.

Routine helps - you must look after yourself first - if you don't you will not be fit and healthy enough to care for anyone else. This means regular healthy meals and regular exercise.

Regarding your relationship with your husband - it is normal during depression to lose your sex drive and your ability to connect. To ensure that your marriage survives you have to make an effort - even if you don't feel like it. This will also help you to feel better in yourself. If your husband is not interested in shopping accept this. Find someone else to shop with. A friend or relative. Try and arrange some time every week to do something with your husband. Maybe arrange for the children to visit friends or a relative one evening and make dinner a bit special. Sit at the table and talk - don't eat in front of the TV (at least not every night)

Find yourself a couple of interests (some for yourself and some you can share with your husband and/or your children). This could be something you used to enjoy doing when you were younger, or taking a class.

And the simplest thing (don't laugh as it works). When you get up in the morning, get washed and dressed in something that makes you feel good and look at yourself in the mirror and SMILE. Force a smile if you have to, but SMILE for up to 10 minutes. Then tell yourself out loud that "Today is going to be a good day and I feel great." If you feel down during the day go back to your mirror and do it again. You may feel silly doing this (so probably best not to let anyone else hear you or watch you doing this - but it really works. Bit by bit you will feel better.

Hope this helps.

Answer 2

You are being neglected--probably not out of any conscience effort on your husband's part -- but -- neglected AND taken for granted, too----and this IS uncalled for in ANY relationship !!

This will not only bring on depression, but a host of other things as well ---like the mention here of the uncalled for anger toward the kids--and so all of this effects THEM as well !!

Any one of us within a relatioinship HAS to have confirmation of the love that is felt FOR us by the people within our life or we begin to wonder why it is that we just somehow turn into UTILITIES for the other person's convenience !! It is like being nothing more than a vending machine---doling out what the other person is wanting while all the time-- not getting any appreciation OR benefits for ourselves !!

I'm not saying ALL here---but there are a lot of guys who think that if they are providing a livelihood for their family---they are doing everything that needs to be done for them --- and don't even consider the emotional needs or the reconfirmation of affection thing in the least bit !!

I hate to say this, darlin', but the one thing that concerns me most about what you've posted here---is the thing where you say, when you try to talk to him of these feelings you are having-- he just laughs it all off---this is a distinct indicator here that he has you "categorized" into a "managable" "commodity" and doesn't take your input as serious enough in nature to give it much credence at all !! This is extremely dangerous to your relationship as a whole AND to YOU as an individual and this MUST change or it will not only totally destroy what you have left OF a relationship ---but it will take YOU down with it !!

You're far too young---and I would assume here--have far too much to offer as a mature woman-- to sit back and accept this FOR your life !! Change it---you are the only one with the power to do this !!

Answer 3

For starters, you need to seek counceling and a psychologist.
It will give you someone to talk to, someone to work through your feelings with.. They can also get you on medication for your depression..the meds work real good...it will take a few weeks to build up in your system,but once it kicks in,it helps alot.
Secondly, Tell your ignorant husband, how you feel. Make him sit down,and tell him he needs to listen wether he likes it or not if he cares about your marriage..The tell him exactly how you feel. If he cares about you or the marriage he will listen and work with you to resolve issues. If he doesnt, then its time you say goodbye and move on.If your doing it on your own now and he doesnt care,then there will be no difference without him there,and you'll probably feel a lot better.
Love your kids - I know its hard when your dealing with something like this,and I dont know there ages,but love them unconditionally,try not to get angry with them,explain to them "mommys not feeling well",and if you do let out a scream or hollar or harsh words - appologise to them.
thirdly, if you go to church,seek the councel of your pastor or priest,and pray...
YOU CAN DO THIS _ YOU CAN BEET THE DEPRESSION_AND YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT AND SURVIVE

Answer 4

You HAVE to find common interests.

For me & mine, getting a Tivo was the solution - we record shows we both like and make time to watch them together. If you can't get a Tivo, ask your cable company for a DVR box. It is SO worth it, don't let money be an issue here.

Because that time together gives you time to snuggle & talk during commercials, etc. You have to spend time being very close.

And also, see if each of you can make one tiny step this year towards being more of the type of sexual partner the other wants to have. It is difficult, especially while depressed, but it IS possible!

Answer 5

I USE "VENLAFAXINE" OR EFFEXOR IT WORKS FOR ME GET IT FROM YOUR DOCTOR AND TAKE EARLY IN AM UP THE DOSAGE IF YOUR STILL FEELING ANGRY OR LOW, I really do know how you feel, I've been married to her for 39 yrs and do all I can for her, but she has no idea of the importance of a "human touch,a hug, a kiss, passion, kindness that is not reqested, AND IT HURTS LIKE HELL ! you feel alone, deserted, abandoned, yearning for just a simple holding of your hand or a hand on your shoulder, a hug,