Forgive him he's family?

Question

So few minutes ago i asked a question about my brother he had stolen a phone of my son and only for my son staying at his house last night he found it in the open and lifted it back,in the summer i went on holiday and left 5 kittens and the mother with him to mind they got outside but got them back after a few days its a long story but he had been told to put in his secure garage which he ignored so when i was home they had all gone never found ,he had done nothing to find them
What would you do its one thing after another he lies and now has stolen something
confused and upset please help





if you want to see whole story heres my kitten story
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Al835Z.vYYrQXbGP7HC4I1UgBgx.?qid=20060717044423AA9CEd4

and here is thief story
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=At.8ojeaQVwTJfkt_StlqcEgBgx.?qid=20070203045607AAmoY4d

Answer 1

He is irresponsible.
You letting him get away with the behaviour is only allowing him to continue it.
He needs to be confronted by everyone and made aware you are not going to put up with his shenanigans.....he has no consequences right now for his actions, he will continue in the same manner..........
You become an enabler, if you do not say anything.
Getting your son to steal the phone back is not the right thing to teach him.....
It sends the wrong message, even if your brother stole it in the first place.
Asking anyone who is irresponsible to do a simple task is a disaster waiting to happen.
Why do you keep trying to change him???
He is not going to change, because you ask him. He has to want to.
You have to change. The way you relate to him and how you are going to treat him, this is how you cope with his behaviour and stay sane..
Everyone makes mistakes and yes, you can forgive but do not forget, this behaviour is going to continue no matter what.
The forgiving is only going to give you inner peace not him.....
This is about his struggles, emotionally and mentally, until he finds his way, there will only be more of the same.

Answer 2

1. Sit down with your parents and your brother and explain the problems that you're having with him. Try to make your parents realize that he's not perfect and your brother realize that he needs professional help.

2. Refuse to speak to your brother until he makes an effort to change. You don't want your son around that kind of behavior, and if you let him over at your house, who knows what else will go missing. You should be able to trust family. If you can't, then he needs to go until he can get his act together. Banishing him from your life may make holidays difficult and some of your family members may look at you as being difficult, but you should feel good that you are taking action against his behavior, rather than enabling it.

If by some chance, he happens to come into your house and you find something missing, call the police. He needs to learn how to respect you - he needs to know that his behavior isn't right. Stealing is a criminal behavior, and if he steals from you, he probably does it to other people as well.

Also, I'd demand your money back for watching the kittens. He lost them! He absolutely failed in his job. He may refuse, but at least you'll know that you stood up for yourself.

Answer 3

Stealing from your Son then not owning up but getting found out is very low-A thief & liar is a thief & a liar whether they're family or not,you can't let it go just because he's your Brother or he'll continue to take advantage of your good nature-your Son comes first & he's been hurt here.

Answer 4

Hes obviously not trustworthy, quit asking him to help you out! Yeah you can forgive but you will never forget and that is why you should not trust him or let him around when you are not home. as for stealing from your child, lay the law down get it back make him buy a new one or charge him. My brother and my boyfriends brother are like this and there is noway we let them get away things anymore. Don't let him take advantage of you!

Answer 5

I think there comes a time in everyone's life where you have to accept that just because someone is related to you, it doesn't mean you have to like them or be in contact with them. I'm sorry but your brother sounds like an immature ****. I'd have as little contact with him as possible, don't be nasty or aggressive, just avoid having to spend any time with him at all.

Its very easy for other people to say stuff like "blood is thicker than water" etc, but if he was a social acquaintance would you still be giving him the time of day? In my family there is another girl who was born from the same parents as me, but due to years of manipulation, deceit, theft and horrendous lies, (accusing an innocent family member of rape, anyone?) I ceased to have any contact with her about 4 years ago. I can honestly tell you I have NO regrets whatsoever about my decision. Having sick twisted people in your life is a drain on your energy and happiness. Cut your losses!

Answer 6

In time you may find you can forgive him, but don't forget what he's done! He has betrayed your trust twice on a couple big things and will have to earn it back from you. Don't put him in a position where you have to trust him with anything until he has proven himself worthy again.

Answer 7

I would sit and talk to your brother and tell him exactly how you feel about him, but you have to think about your family first. your brother is not going to change, until he gets tired or caught stealing something , and gets punished for it. and as long as he gets away with it, he will contunue doing the things he does. but try talking and if that don't work you tried, and just be happy with your family and stay clear from him. good luck.

Answer 8

Forgive but don't forget. Its possible to say to someone "You're my brother & I love you, but I can't rely on you."

Its a shame, but just because we share the same blood with someone doesn't necessarily mean they are any good.

Answer 9

tuff love. You have to throw him out. life is sink or swim. He needs to learn how to swim without you holding him above water.

Answer 10

don't ask him to do you no more favors because he does not want to take any kind of responsibility from you and that's it..plain and simple!