my 6 year old daughter doesnot want to sleep in her bed, she comes to our bed in night, how sould we manage?

Question

it is happening more after we had a new baby last year

Answer 1

Please let her go about another year. Its a rough, tough world out there and we need all the security we can get. Its not going to "warp" her or anything. A few generations ago, families slept together out of nessecity & most of them turned out o.k. Let her be a child for a while longer. I, myself am 56 years old and there are days that I still feel like "crying out for mommy". LOL. Seriously though, there will come a day when you will wish you had your little girl back again, so no need to rush it.---theBerean

Answer 2

My daughter did this until she was 4 years old. I just got her to stop about 3 weeks ago.

1. I think the first thing to do is not bring it up at night when you're trying to put them to bed or when they've come into your room in the middle of the night. You should talk to them earlier in the day and just tell them that starting tonight, she's sleeping in her big girl bed all night.

2. And get her a night light. There's no harm in that at all. I'm 25 years old and even I get a little scared in the dark sometimes.

3. The third part is hard but consistency is key. IF she does come into your room, bring her back to her bed. If you can, don't say anything, just do it. If she comes back, 3 more times, put her back 3 more times. Trust me, a couple of nights of this and she'll likely stop coming altogether. But you have to do it everytime!

4. I also think it's important that you don't make her feel like she's banned from your bed or room and that her sleeping in her own bed is some form of punishment. If you're hanging out on your bed, let her join you. But she should just understand that when it's time for bed, she sleeps in her bed and you sleep in yours. You should praise her for a while every night that she sleeps there all night w/o coming to your room. After all, our kids like when they make us happy, right?!

It's been about three weeks without her coming into my bed. I'd say that's a success. By the way, the nights where I had to keep taking her back to bed time after time during the night lasted about 3 nights. And each night she did it less frequently. Good luck!

Answer 3

I have 5 kids and been through this a few times.

First, talk to your daughter about why that might solve it right then.

Second, give her some 1 on1 time I know this can be hard having 5 kids of my own. Let her know that she is such a big girl and the baby needs you. Like she can get dressed by her self the baby can't, you can go take your own bath/shower the baby can't, you can talk and so on.

Third, this usually works the best. Get a sleeping bag or blankets put it by your side or husband on the floor tell her if she needs you near then she can come sleep on her special little bed. She cannot sleep in your bed anymore. She can come up to give you a hug/kiss or what ever but she can't sleep in your bed any more. After a few days try moving the bed closer to the door but use your own judgment this will have to done slowly! but keep on moving closer to the door. Till she gets out of the room. It will end up the special bed will be in her own bed.

Or which I have been told... but can't seem to do (breaks my heart)

1. Lock your door
2. Get up put her back to bed and tell her she has to
stay there. (Super Nanny does this) (I hate it cause I
am to lazy to get up in the middle of the night! I love
my sleep!)

Answer 4

When I was young I was the same way. I would sneak into my parents room and crawl into bed with them or at the foot of their bed. Sometimes I was scared and then it became a habit and I was more comfortable there. My parents got me a nite light and sat me down and talked to me about why I thought I did it. They encouraged me to stay in my own bed by telling me I would get a star every night I could stay in my own room and at the end of every month if I got enough stars, which got to be more and more every month, than I could have a pick of a certain type of rewards... which they always made educational or fun like a trip to the zoo, a sleepover with my cousins, a day at the beach etc. They also praised me everytime I did it and In time I got used to my own room and I would just stay there. My parents years later told me that I probably would have gotten to do those things anyhow, but they made it into a game so I felt I had a say in it! Tricky parents!

Answer 5

Our son did this all of the time. When he turned six, we started to make a big deal of his age. He was a lot older than his baby brother. We bought a new mattress for him to sleep on and a new cd player to listen to music as he goes to sleep. I put a baby monitor outside of his room, too, so that he could call to me in the night if he was scared. He knew then that he wasn't really alone in his room. There is still a night now and then that he will come into our room, but they are alot fewer.

Answer 6

If it doesn't bother you let her sleep in your bed, however it you don't want her there you have to put her back to bed consistently everytime she comes into your bed - she will soon get the message. If you let her sleep there sometimes & not other times then there is no consistency & she will keep up with going into your bed during the night.

Answer 7

I've been there!!! What you need to do to start is, make it look like you are going to sleep with her IN HER BED! Then after she falls asleep, the slip out and keep this up for awhile, until she's use to sleeping in her own bed !!!! It's hard but you'll get use to it!!! I promise!!!! I've done it with all 3 of my kids!!!

Answer 8

I would be taking her back to her room and putting her back in her own bed. She's 6, she's old enough for you to stress upon her that she needs to sleep in her own room, not yours. As annoying as it may sound to have to get up with her and take her back, it's better than rolling over something that's not supposed to be there in the middle of the night.

Answer 9

well--co-sleeping is the term for parents who let their children sleep with them--and I think it's fine--Your daughter just wants to be reassured that she is still an important part of your family--if you let her sleep with you for a while she will regain her feelings of security and will probably want to go back and sleep on her own..I think it is perfectly okay--Children who are more attached to their parents in earlier years are more confident and do better than those that are made to be artificailly independent--We ahve to be ralistic--the human body and infants are not strong--It takes a great deal of care and attending to raise a huma child--we are not like some animals who come out and start walking in minutes--Our modern world wants to make us all independent faster, etc..but that is not the case...You daughter wants reassurance that she is part of this new family unit that now includes your new baby--So let her sleep with you--There is nothing unhealthy about it--You might want to check out Attachment Parenting resources in your area...

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/

My opinion--let her sleep with you-trust your feelings--your sense that you don't want to leave her out--not some mental thoughts that might tell you--oh--she's suppossed to be independent now (she's only 6!!) she's suppossed to be by herself, etc...or--so-and-so's kids sleep by themselves...Do what YOU think and FEEL is right for her...

Good Luck:)

Answer 10

Well, I slept with my parents until that age. Go into your daughters room with her and lay down with her, until she goes to sleep. When she is finally asleep, sneak out and sleep in your own bed. If she wakes up, do the same thing again.
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