My daughter is very motivated professionally she is a pharmacist at age 25 in a large metropolitan city, Yet in her personal life she will travel out of town to hangs around with her former highschool buddies who are nothing but total losers, unemployed, uneducated, druggies, alcoholics who live in a small rural community 125 miles distant.
She wastes her money on buying their booze for the weekend parties they have. Now i learned last night that she's hooked up with a drug addict younger brother of her former boyfriend also a meth addict.
I have done everything i know to encourage her to find a better class of people to be with and to put these losers behind her but nothing works. Its as if she does this just to make me mad as H ell.
Other than beating some sense into her what else can i do to convince her to drop these people out of her life?
2007-02-02 22:59:04 · 11 answers · asked by michael_trussell 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm sorry you are having this problem. Sounds to me like she hasn't matured socially in her early years and concentrated on her academics rather than partying with friends. Being a pharmacist at that age is a great accomplishment.
Hopefully she will grow out of this ridiculous desire to be with such un-motivated low lifes. There is more than likely nothing you can do other than to sit down with her and talk to her about your concerns.
Hopefully she will understand where you are leading this conversation and wake up and smell the roses. situations like this are very difficult and often times when parents push to much the immaturity in the child kicks in and they do just the opposite of the parents desires.
by the way nice photo, wish i could see the front side.
2007-02-03 00:40:52 · answer #1 · answered by michellebanks1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you only try forcing her away from these people, she is more likely to pull further away from you and closer to them. I think all you can do is to make your feelings about these people to her known, but tell her that you know she is smart enough to make up her own mind and work this out for herself. I would give her some space. She will see over time that these people are not right for her and will probably remove them from her life eventually. I recall around that age, I went through a friend sifting phase. You start to realize around then who your true friends are. The other thing you could try (and I know this sounds extreme) is to show her that you are willing to make an effort with her friends. Let her see you are trying to accept them. If they really are the loser scumbags you say they are, they will do the wrong thing by you and she will see that. She is likely to jump to your defense if they play up when she can see that you really tried with them.
Blood is thicker than water.
2007-02-02 23:11:07 · answer #2 · answered by eGirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion---It sounds like she is in her teen years instead of mid 20s. Maybe she is just a little late in maturing or she was so busy in the teen years to experience those things. It also sounds like she has some insecurities in socializing with her own class but feel comfort and security in high school friends. I have experienced similar but "time" worked mine out to the good but "time" is not always the answer. At this point, I can think of no solution. I do understand what you are experiencing. Good luck
2007-02-02 23:37:17 · answer #3 · answered by old_woman_84 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a hard time believing that she would purposely date a drug addict. I also have a hard time believing that YOU know more about this guy than she does. My guess is you just want her to grow away from her friends. I have to ask, isn't this going to be a pattern? None of her friends, now or in the future, are going to be good enough for her unless you personally pick them out or they are on your "O.K." list. Trust her judgment! She may enjoy being the one that's the most responsible one in the crowd! I think you should be proud of her instead of judging her poor choices that you would have done different!
2007-02-02 23:09:43 · answer #4 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Fortunately, mine isn't facing the same problems.
Other than trying to find a match for her, some good, wholesome bunch of friends for her to meet, I don't know what else to do.
Sometimes you have to accept people for the way they are, but your daughter does not quite seem to be at that level yet. Something has to wake her up one day and she'll realize that she has been doing.
2007-02-02 23:05:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to make her visualise her life devasted after 5-10 years if she continues to do like this. She may learn a lesson. All the best.
2007-02-03 00:03:16 · answer #6 · answered by Ultimate 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She will probably lose it all, a pharmacist's code of conduct is not something to take lightly and it does reflect on her employer who will not tolerate any blemishes on her record as to her being a professional while in their employment. I mean she is an adult, however, if she is busted or an accomplice....that is all she wrote!
2007-02-03 00:25:10 · answer #7 · answered by bill g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her it's too bad that she works to support these people's habits. Talk about wasting her hard earned money. Ask her is that what they're teaching in colleges these days?
2007-02-02 23:28:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just going to have to be there for her when the fallout occurs.Unfortunately she is old enough to choose her friends.You could always encourage her to seek counselling.
2007-02-03 00:27:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make her understand that there are really nice guys waiting for her.
2007-02-03 00:12:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋