3yo boy prefers getting spanked by Daddy?

Question

This is a repost of a question I posted a few days ago. Although I received some good responses here on the board, something unusual happened. I received several e-mails about this question as well. (17 in fact). Although I don’t mind receiving e-mails, the point of Yahoo Answers is that the questions and answers are posted on a public forum for everyone to read. So I am reposting it, please respond to the question here on the board. Anyway, the question:

My 3yo son got in trouble a few days ago for telling his mommy to 'shut up'. My wife was going to spank him but he ran to me and said "No, only Daddy spank me" Yes, I did spank him; I took him into his bedroom and spanked him over my lap, about 7 or 8 swats on his bare bottom with my hand. Yes he does cry when I spank him, and yes I always hug him after I spank him and reassure him that I still love him. After I was finished, he told me that he wants only me to spank him.

I did ask him why he only wanted me to spank him, he said he didn't want mommy to touch his bottom but it was ok if I did it. (No one else besides his mother or I have permission to spank him, so I will be the only one doing it.) However I thought that may just the reason he gave me and not necessarily true because she gives him baths and he never complains.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this? I am interested in hearing the opinions of other parents that have seen something like this.

By the way, this is not a forum for debate on spanking. Don’t waste my time and yours telling me that you think spanking is wrong/cruel/abusive etc. My opinion is not going to change nor is my use of spanking as a discipline tool. I am just asking if anyone else has seen anything like this?

Answer 1

it sounds like it may be a control issue for our son. it might sound silly but even when hes in trouble he is still calling the shots, you know what i mean? in my house the parent to spank is the one the called for the spank. if i caught my child doing something, i spank. if it were daddy, then he spanks. we never pass it off. it sounds like another way to defy his mom by saying "your not going to spank me, daddy will" because like i said he is still getting the final word. good luck with that.

Answer 2

I agree that it is probably a control issue. You should also consider how and if you spank differently than your wife does. Does she spank harder or longer? Or does she use something different? Does she also reassure him afterwards or not? It is more likely that it is a control issue than a difference in spanking techniques, in my opinion. Also, there is the possibility that he is craving more time with you, whether it is positive or negative time. Make sure you are spending enough time with him if you think this might be the problem. Good luck!

Answer 3

I do support spanking as it leads to a more disciplined child, but 7 or 8 times for a 3 yr old seems a bit too much. Does your wife maybe hit him harder and he is more scared of her?

Answer 4

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Answer 5

HE'S 3 AND HE SAID SHUT UP...??? SO YOU WHACK HIM 7-8 TIMES ?? ON A BARE @&& ???? IM ALL FOR A GOOD SMACK IN THE MOUTH BUT HES 3.............. NOT 13 !!!!!! YOU SHOULD BE SPENDING THIS TIME WITH YOUR SON AND CHERISHING IT. NOT GOING NUTS-O EVERYTIME HE SLIPS UP. HE WOULDNT KNOW THAT WORD IF YOU OR YOUR WIFE DIDNT USE IT .... REPEATEDLY !!

Answer 6

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