Should I tell them that their "father" is not their biological father, as he was found to have a low sperm count and they used Donor Sperm to have twin boys and an older girl? My sister will not tell them the truth, they are 14 and 17 years of age now, and they need to know the truth.
2007-02-02 22:39:28 · 15 answers · asked by Wendy 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm fourteen myself and firmly believe that the person who stayed up till two in the morning burping you, and attended all your school plays and watched you grow up and comforted you through all your ups and downs is your parent not someone who has the same DNA as you but doesn't care or doesn't even know you exist.
I would be touched if i knew my parents went through all that to have a child please don't tell them you don't know how'll they'll take it and it may end a perfectly good family!
Hope i helped and wasn't too harsh
2007-02-03 00:32:09 · answer #1 · answered by gracie92 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not up to you to decide when they should be told. I agree that they should know --- but--- if you tell them, it will create arguments within the family.
Your sister told you something in confidence ---if you tell the kids, you are betraying her trust. If the kids hear it from you, they will be upset with you for telling them something like that --and upset with their parents for not being the ones to tell them.
If you can persuade your sister to tell them the truth, that would be ideal. Otherwise, keep it to yourself. At this point, not knowing is not hurting them --- if there is a health issue in the future that knowing the history of the sperm donor would be helpful for, that is different ( but still not your place to tell)
2007-02-03 09:29:29 · answer #2 · answered by Marilyn E 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your sister should be the one that tells them, not you. If your sister doesn't think they should know, then leave it alone. Don't push the issue. If their "Father" has been there for them then why tell them that he's not their biological father. At the ages they are not, it could do a lot of damage to them and to your relationship with your sister.
2007-02-03 08:41:56 · answer #3 · answered by Jaime A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The kids don't NEED to know any of this. Your wrong in thinking they do. If thier parents want them to know then they will tell them WHEN the time is right. Just cuz your brother-in-law isn't the 'biological' father don't mean anything. He is thier father cuz he the one that raised them, loves them, is there for them. Why do you want to make trouble for your sister's family? She will probably think twice before telling you importnant information if you keep trying to get her to do something she don't want to do. Stay out of it.
2007-02-03 07:58:27 · answer #4 · answered by Ghost 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do they need to know? What difference does it make?
You feel guilty because of a misconception. Your kids are your kids. Dont spoil that. They have lasted this long without knowing. If they ask then tell them the truth, but really there isnt anything to tell except you love them.
2007-02-03 07:37:44 · answer #5 · answered by Gail : 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i was in the exact same situation....
but now i know who my real father is....
u might as well tell them, it depends on you, and like why didn't Ur sister tell them herself, her kids,her responsibility. they're like kinda at the wrong age 2 be told. it'll get them stressed and might ruin their life, social, physical and mental. i became obsessed with my we8 cuz my bio father was really fit and i was a bit chubby. i became anorexic.
Ur sister should've told em ages ago. or u might tell them when u think they're old enough.
2007-02-03 09:17:41 · answer #6 · answered by ♥-babee-gurl-♥ 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They don't need to know this information at all. To tell them this now at this age may very well cause problems emotionally for them.
I think you should mind your own business and keep your mouth shut.
Put a cork in it and keep your mouth shut.
People that think they have to stick their noses into everyone's life in the hope of creating some form of drama in other peoples lives just make me mad as h ell.
2007-02-03 07:29:22 · answer #7 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
First, no, it is not your place to tell them this. It is the responsibility of the parents to tell. If and when they wish the children to know, it is their responsibility to tell--to pick the time and place.
Second, this could split the family apart. This could cause the children lots of problems and cause friction between parents and children.
No, please do not accept this responsibility.
2007-02-03 07:54:49 · answer #8 · answered by old_woman_84 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That decision is completely up to your sister and her husband. If they don't want to tell their children, then it's not up to you to tell them. Your only going to be causing major problems.
2007-02-03 16:37:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No they don't. The choice was made by their parents. Without them the kids wouldn't exist! That's a parent! Just because the DNA doesn't match means nothing! Girl your just mean!
2007-02-03 07:37:14 · answer #10 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋