But im in a relationship with someone who lost their father last year and now he finds himself out of work. Understandably he is not his usual easy going self and actually can be depressing to be around. We have children together and they wouldn't understand but they notice he is angry lately. He is tired all the time and has low labido.
I have not experienced that personally, but I love him dearly and I want to make him happy and help him cope.
Please help! Thankyou! ; (
2007-02-02 19:34:05 · 9 answers · asked by Morgan J 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Grief is a perfectly normal human state and no medication is required for it. The grieving process takes about two years.
Your partner was in the midst of grieving for his father then he lost his job... grieving is about working through a loss... so while he is busy working through one loss another one happens... So he is at two different stages of grief about two different things..
On top of the losses he has suffered he has a partner and children to worry about. Men are often raised in such a way that they feel so responsible for the wellbeing of their family and that their role in life is to provide for their family that when they can't for any reason they feel they have no purpose in life, no value as a human being, no real worth.
He will undoubtedly be angry with himself for not copng better and angry with himself for being unemployed and unable to provide for his family. possibly angry with his dad for not being there for him.
He does need to learn to deal with the losses, the anger and his general demeanour in a better way.
How you can help him is to talk with him in a plain matter of fact way and not tiptoe through the tulips around him. Tell him of your experience of living with him and how the children have noticed his anger and depression. Tell him you'd like to help him but you don't know how. Ask him if there is something you can do, but at the same time do not take on full responsibility for how he is feeling. He is responsible to get hiimself through this, he is responsible for his own responses and reactions.
2007-02-04 07:21:59 · answer #1 · answered by wollemi_pine_writer 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is suffering from clinical depression. It won't get better on it's own, as you can see by now. It will just stay as is, or get worse. Get him to talk to his MD about the problem so he can at least begin to become the man he used to be. He will be more resilient, in a better mood and much more likely to land himself a new job if he is feeling better. People don't like to be around depressed people: such 'vibes" are less than ideal in a job candidate. It's almost as though people can sniff out depression - and they stay AWAY. This must have evolutionary value but I digress...Anyway, medication takes a few weeks to kick in so the sooner you get on his case about this, the better for everyone.
2007-02-02 19:48:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off i am sorry for his loss, which is a terrable thing. my feelings on this are a little bit edgier however. It sounds like he is suffering from depression a very HIGH dosage of depression. It may help if he were to go to a therapist to talk about this. Or maybe if he were to take a vacation by himself so he can try to work things out. I think he needs to come to the realization that no matter how horrible this is, he still has to come back to reality. Unfortunatly this is a very hard step to take and a very lenghty process.
2007-02-02 19:46:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give the Person the Homeopathic Remedy IGNATIA AMARA in 30X potency, three times a day half hour before meals for three days, and he will be feeling absolutely fine in a few days . Nothing works better in these conditions then this gem of a remedy. Without any side effects or complications.
Take Care and God Bless you !
2007-02-02 19:41:45 · answer #4 · answered by Soul Doctor 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He is suffering from bad depression over his father...he needs support like crazy now...he is very sad and stressed out, and needs you to be there to assure him all will be fine...tell him to talk to you, and that his father wouldn't want him to be sad and to try to remember the good things, and that you all love him and are there for him.....And say your prayers, because God and Jesus will comfort him...and tell him to do the same,...God and Jesus got me through, when I lost my dad...I prayed, and prayed, and it was a great comfort..to know that someday I will see my dad again..
2007-02-02 19:50:23 · answer #5 · answered by MotherKittyKat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to speak to someone
There are 5 stages you go through when someone dies
Denial and Isolation
Anger
Bargining
Depression
Acceptance
People can get stuck in the anger stage for a long time eg how dare they die on me, i need them....
Ive had both my parents die and my dad i was stuck in the anger stage for about 2 years
My mum, not so bad as i got everything out with her before she died
2007-02-02 19:41:59 · answer #6 · answered by mary L 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe encourage him to get out of the house and engage in a new activity or hobby. If he gets angry/frustrated, he needs an outlet, perhaps something new/creative/exhausting...
2007-02-02 19:42:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
We all go through hard times in our lives and need someone to be there for us. Just don't let him fall into the trap of self pitty- he needs regain his sense of control in life which is ultimately up to him not u. All you can do is support him, but know when enough is enough and take care of yourself too.
Good luck
2007-02-02 19:41:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like he didn't get a chance to really grieve his loss. My suggestion is to get him to go to a grief and loss group, you can find them at your local hospital or hospice center and they are free. That's what I did after my fiance died. It helped me a great deal, hopefully it will help him
2007-02-02 19:47:26 · answer #9 · answered by Serinity4u2find 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋