My daughter is 16, she has always been very independent and strong willed. She is an a student, but doesnt have any girlfriends. she is nearly impossible to please with everyone and almost nothing according to her is ever done to her standards..her attitude is horrible when it comes to being correcting about her language or how we expect her to act..tonight she was all mad at a girl and was saying things like..Im going to kill her..we repremanded her, then she changed it to Im going to mash her face in..she has never been in a fight but I am afraid its on the horizon..shes disrespectful to me..that has improved some..but Im worried for her. any other parents..or kids want to respond
2007-02-02 18:49:16 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm also a 16 year old girl, and I can see where she is coming from. Perhaps her attitude is from a low self-esteem? She may feel as though she's not worth anything; so it may be worth while to show her how much you love her, and try and make her feel that she is wanted (however hard that may be sometimes).
As for threatening behaviour about a girl, I really don't think she's serious about it. It is probably just her way of expressing how strongly she feels about that issue.
If you protect your daughter from doing things she believes is right all the time, maybe its worthwhile to let her find things out the hard way. A lesson learnt that way is always more worthwhile than just being told.
If you show her that you can understand her point of view, and respect it, I'm sure you will be able to communicate alot better with her. I hope this helps somewhat, and good luck!
2007-02-03 14:20:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should set some specific boundaries with consequences for her actions. A verbal reprimand allows her to recognize what she is doing, but puts no real consequences on her actions, therefore she has no real reason to change the behavior- especially if she has not been showing you the proper respect. If you are concerned her behavior and verbal threats may escalate to physical violence, you should consult a professional. A psychologist would be the proper person to consult, or check with the school social worker about your concerns. Schools often have their own psychologists that can do student evaluations at no cost. At least they can refer you in the right direction. Good luck.
2007-02-02 18:59:22 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer S 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It seems sometimes there is just no getting through to teens. My 18 year old was similar, no physical fights, however, everyone he saw and spoke about while with me in public, walking on the sidewalk, taco bell, etc. "they are the biggest looser" or "yeah, he's a poser" everything that came out of his mouth was negative and insulting, like he was so perfect! I tried talking to him, re: looking for the good in people and what makes him think he is so perfect. It may be a stage. With my son it seemed talking to him was in vain OR very possibly all my 'preaching' eventually sank in at some level and he realized it wasn't very becoming behavior personality wise. We have fought and yelled many times because of our differences in opinions in re: to manners, socially acceptable behaviors. When it all comes down to it, he does know how to conduct himself appropriately in the right situations and he has actually through all his independence and head strong ways, grown up to be a goal oriented, hardworking young man and just graduated 5 months early from high school to boot! Don’t stress too hard. Just try to reinforce in her that her actions are not attractive and are going to cause her many problems in school, college and life if she does not check her attitude; All the while reminding her that she has admirable qualities that successful people possess too! Yea, teens are SO TOUGH! Every emotional strand of energy I have has been sucked out by my teens at times.
2007-02-02 19:04:21 · answer #3 · answered by Mt ~^^~~^^~ 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At least for at least another half decade. Sorry, but no matter how hard you try, no matter how good a parent you are, you have to just have faith in the fact that you raised her the best you knew how to, and that maybe some of what you tried to teach her soaked in. Remember, you are not alone, I'm still dealing with the situation, and this last one is 19! Whatever you do, don't take it to heart---she doesn't mean it!
2007-02-02 18:58:15 · answer #4 · answered by kimberlee g 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well I'm a teenager my self and its kinda a teen thing we aways get angry at nothing sometimes what makes me feel better is going out for the day with my mum or dad, so take her out for tea or just for some mother daughter bonding im sure she will like that
2007-02-02 23:12:02 · answer #5 · answered by << T >> 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude I am sixteen and be there done that. It is just a phase. Let her live her life. She will probably just grow out of it.
2007-02-02 20:53:47 · answer #6 · answered by anniebug12 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
one phrase: tough love,let her know that you are the parent and she is the child because if you do not you will have a real problem on your hands
2007-02-02 18:54:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋