Stages of Drunkenness
0 - Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as an army bayonet.
1 - Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being.
2 - Lager warming up head. Pretzels are ordered. Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse.
3 - Crossword in newspaper is filled in. After a while blanks are filled with random letters and numbers.
4 - Barmaid complimented on choice of brx. Partially visible when bending to get packets of crisps. Try to instigate conversation about brxs. Order half a dozen packets of pretzels one by one.
5 - Have brilliant discussion with guy on the next bar stool. Devise fool-proof scheme for wining lottery, sort out Denver Broncos defense problems.
6 - Feel like a Demi-God. Map out rest of life on cocktail napkin. Realize that everybody loves you. Call parents and tell them you love them. Call girlfriend to tell her you lxve her and she still has an amazing axs.
2007-02-02 18:33:41 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
7 - Send drinks over to woman sitting at table with boyfriend. No reaction. Scribble out message of love on five cocktail napkins and Frisbee them to her across the room. Boyfriend asks you outside. You buy him a Slim Panatela.
8 - Some slurring. Offer to buy drinks for everyone in room. Lots of people say yes. Go round the bar hugging them one by one. Fall over. Get up.
9 - Head-ache kicks in. Michelob tastes off. Send it back. Next bottle comes back tasting same. Say, "That's much better". Fight nausea by trying to play old Space Invaders game for ten minutes before seeing out of order sign.
10 - Some doubling of vision. Stand on table shouting abuse at all four bartenders. Talked down by bartender's wives, who you offer to give a baby to. Fall over. Get up. Fall over. Impale head on corner of table. Fail to notice oozing head wound.
2007-02-02 18:38:40 · update #1
another couple i forgot sorry
11 - Speech no longer possible. Eventually manage to find door. Sit and take stock. Realize you are sitting in pub cellar, having taken a wrong turning. Vomit. Pass out.
12 - Put in cab by somebody. Give home address. Taken home. Can't get key in door. Realize you've given address of your local gym. Generally pleased at way evening has gone. Pass out again.
2007-02-02 18:42:06 · update #2
L O L were u on the lash x
2007-02-03 20:47:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I found this pretty darn funny.. made me chuckle a few times.. I like number 4, sounds like something I would do if I were a dude.. because that is pretty smart.. ha ha.. thanks for putting this one up.. I thought it was funny.. to those who didn't.. " get a sense of humor ".. stop bein so mean.. your on the jokes & riddles part of answers.. you should find the area for @sswipes..
2007-02-03 03:41:30 · answer #2 · answered by *♥short~sh!t♥* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You act like a 4 year old.
2007-02-05 05:54:30 · answer #3 · answered by Easy Rider 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like average night out
2007-02-03 04:39:25 · answer #4 · answered by tobybites 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My God man! You need tying down when your drunk!! ; )
Mornin` (A+E not so bad thanks usual p/heads! Glad to be home though)!! God who am I kidding I`m knackered!!!
You know I think I actually did 9!! Although I hate to admit it!!
Oh yeah and 1! oh, maybe 8! God definitely 12!!!!! Oooh I`m bad!!
And.......13!! Not on your list!!! You guys just can`t keep up `eh.
Lol
Tink x
Head hung in shame!!
2007-02-03 03:41:23 · answer #5 · answered by Tink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahh yes the "Funny Drunk." You forgot to put a lampshade on your head and slobber at Maude Fladers' breasts, Homer.
2007-02-03 02:47:55 · answer #6 · answered by northernbornsoutherner 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was Ok until you passed out. Stay home next time
2007-02-03 04:02:18 · answer #7 · answered by queendebadow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remind me never to have a night out with you, lol
2007-02-03 07:10:49 · answer #8 · answered by Kizzy_ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
couldnt even be bothered to read its like 730am serious ill read it later
ok now 1am just got home little tipsy thought i would now attempt to read your question but damn its got longer and im tipsy now so f**k that....
2007-02-03 02:38:02 · answer #9 · answered by MissTee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice
2007-02-03 04:34:23 · answer #10 · answered by sweety 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋