Is he not physically attracted to me? He confuses me...?

Question

I've been dating a guy whose is 6 years older than me (we're both in our 20's). We've been together a month. I'm a virgin, he's not. My problem is things (physically) are progressing slower than my past relationships. We hold hands, cuddle, have tickle fights--- that's it. He hasn't even tried to explore with his hands and he's joked two times about getting naked or having sex. We'll be holding hands and if my hand is anywhere near his belt buckle or waist, he'll grab my hand, move it up and continue to holds with me. I'm not talking about having sex with him but I'm definitly interested in having a little fun without going all the way. I'm worried that he's either not physically attracted to me or maybe he's self-conscious, I dont know but I need advice and I'm scared to just bring it up out of no where with him. He's not really my type as far as body type (he's shorter & skinnier than me, I'm not overweight though) but I'm crazy about him & I want more out of the relationship. Help!?

Answer 1

This is a conversation you need to have with him. It's possible he's being respectful of the fact that you are a virgin, it's also possible that he is not comfortable with sexuality.
It can't be that he's not attracted to you if you hold hands, cuddle and have tickle fights.
It's not bringing it up out of the blue if you bring it up the next time he removes your hand from his belt. Just be very careful with your tone of voice, be patient and understanding and kind. You'll work it out.

Answer 2

i personally think he's scared shitless. The fact that you're still a virgin may have imposed a no-touch banner across his mind. If i were you, I'd throw out the whole "is he not physically attracted to me?" question, cuz he's a guy, i'm a guy, and every guy is gonna tell you that he's interested.

Your best bet is to engage him in some sort of activity that would make him pull away again (ie. tickle fights where you would playfully pull his pants down) and then maybe get serious for a while to ask him what he's deal is. This way, you'll be able to gauge where he's coming from and find out where the relationship is headed.

BUT, before you actually go through with this you'd better ask yourself some questions about your own abstinence. Most guys aren't all that willing to commit to a relationship that doesn't involve sex. I'm not saying that guys just want sex, but it helps strenghten the relationship. And that is what you want, isn't it?

good luck.

Answer 3

If he's with you and he knows you're a virgin and is still around, yes, he's into you. If he's cuddling, kissing, etc with you, yes, he's physically attracted to you. It sounds like you have a nice guy on your hands! This is a good thing! He's respecting your choice to remain a virgin and that's great. He respects you. He could also be protecting himself though. He knows sex probably won't happen so he's making sure you both aren't in a situation where things could go too far or he'll end up being sexually frustrated. Either way, I wouldn't worry about it. Don't overanalyze his behavior. He sounds respectful and very much into you. If you want things to progress a little further, just be open and ask him about it. He might be unsure of your personal limits and is just being extra careful not to insult you by going to far. Let him know what's on your mind. Good luck!

Answer 4

GIRL.. I dot NOT feel sorry for you! Lol.. you actually have a guy that likes you for you rather than what you can do with him in bed. Isn't that awesome? I certainly think so! I'm certain he's attracted to you, and I don't even know you. I really can guarantee it tho, lol, just from what you said. He might be a bit insecure, but I have to tell you that I've never done anything even semi serious with a guy after just a month.. my point? People just move at different paces. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, actually.. just enjoy each other's company, and learn about each others.. well, everything. Eventually you'll learn about each other's bodies too, when the time is right. Don't rush it, because he's probably a nice guy, since he hasn't immediately wanted to get you in bed. Good luck! :o)

Answer 5

Seems like a bit of a shy guy to me. Or maybe he respects that you are a virgin and doesn't want to do anything until you know you're ready. If this is the case, and you do want things to go further, then you should take things further. Take the initiative, get things started, but make clear your limits. Then he'll know that you're ready and will more than likely follow you into the physical aspect of your relationship.

If you're crazy about him, then show him. He may feel the same way about you, so take a chance.

Answer 6

I wouldn't worry about him not being physically attracted to you.
He might just be concious about the fact that you are a virgin and he may not want to put unwanted pressure on you or your relationship.
Or it could be that HE is not ready to take the next step.
All I can suggest is talk to him, after all only he knows what is going on. Ask him if it has anything to do with your physical appearance (which I doubt). Tell him you wouldn't mind a little more action without going the whole way.
Good-Luck!

Answer 7

He is definitely physically attracted to you. He wouldn't joke about getting naked or sex if he wasn't. Jokes like that are actually guys telling you what they want.

Everyone is different. He sounds shy. Maybe you are on to something about him having some sort of insecurity or maybe he is afraid of you. The best way to approach the issue is just talk to him straight up.

Maybe he is intimidated by you being a virgin and has you on a pedestal.

It sounds all good just talk to him. A good relationship involves communication anyway

Answer 8

uhhh alright, u say he's not ur type, so maybe he knows that and he feels uncomfortable with you physically wise. Why dont you start trying to make him feel better about himself and tell him things that you like about him, especially looks, it will make him feel a lot better and he'll be less worried about the way he looks and what you might think if you guys go farther than just holding hands.

Answer 9

Maybe this guy is very serious about his relationship with you and just wants to take things slow. Men tend to play the field but when it comes to the women that they feel like they want to spend the rest of their lives with, they tend to feel like they want to do things "right". If that isn't the reason than he may just be intimidated about the fact that you are a virgin. My bet is that it is the first thing, though. If that is his reason than you are a very lucky girl.
Either way, talk to him about how you feel. Open communication is a cornerstone of any successful relationship. Don't be afraid of the tougher subjects.
BTW, my "dream" man used to be a man who is around 6'3", with baby blues and a perfect bod but I'm happily married to a 5'9" man with hazel eyes and a growing spare tire....LOL. We rarely end up with our ideal men because we women tend to be ruled with our hearts rather than our heads or other nether regions! :)
Good Luck!

Answer 10

Ummm maybe he is not sure if he wants to have sex with you. I mean, he might respect you too much too go to far. If you really want to do something, tell him straight out, see how he answers and take it from there. Im pretty sure that if you guys talk, the truth wil come out.