How do I get my girlfriend I didnt appreciate until it was too late back?

Question

We dated for over a year and I could never say I loved her. She felt more like my buddy when we talked and I never wanted to act romantic with her. She was a lot more into it that I was and she did all the hard work. Finally she said she had enough and I couldnt blame her-- so we took a 2 week break. During the break we totally swapped places, I wanted her back and felt love for her right away and she feels more indifferent now. Ive been trying to get her back but now she says she feels differently and that I seem more like a buddy. Now if we meet and I try to hold hands she backs off instead of the other way around. It was only a 2 week break but it changed everything. I told her I loved her now and Im acting very interested, which I truly am, to prove I feel differently now, but at the same time I dont want to be desparate which I think makes her not like me as much. NEED MAJOR ADVICE HERE, thanks

Answer 1

same thing happened with me and my ex. he was my first boyfriend and it was 4 years not 1 year. i got tired of it. he was more romantic of corse but his actions were pretty much the same as what you are describing now. i got tired of it and moved on. now he wants me back. then i got married and he still wanted me back, etc..... unfortunatly there is nothing that could have been done. most people have the philosophy that if they could not appreciate you when they had you even if you go back to them things will be the same. also a fear of the other person ending up cheating on you for revenge later on because there was a point where you did not want to be with them and they become hurt by that so they try to seek revenge. a good suggestion for you is to write her a letter. let her know all the things you love about her. be sincere and do not add more things in the letter that you know are not true. remember she probally knows your personality so be sincere. then let her know that you are there waiting for her. if she comes back then good. if she does not come back then you really have not lost any thing n e ways. you might have thought you have while going through a broken heart but from this you will take away an experience for the next woman that you might meet. good luck and remember that even if this does not work out you could find the love of your life around the next corner. any thing worth having is not easy to aquire.

Answer 2

Ask yourself why you treated her indifferently in the first place. Are you sure it isn't the attention you miss and if she were to take you back and continue the way she was prior to the 2 week break are you sure that you wouldn't go back to treating her the same way. If your feelings are true you need to give her time to decide what she wants and to respect that decision what ever it is. She needs to see that you've really changed and sometimes it's not what you say that will convince her but what you do. Sometimes a persons feelings will change if they get so tired of being treated a certain way that they have nothing else to give... a good movie to watch is "The Break Up". This film gives a good description of why women decide to call it quits but also shows what a partner can do to try to change. Best of wishes to you.

Answer 3

Sounds like you just want her back because she's not around. I'm sure she senses that and isn't very responsive. The only thing you can do is just tell her your feelings. Tell her everything that you just wrote here tonight. Like how she did all the work, etc. That might change her mind. You do need to be prepared for her not to take you back though. If she put up with this for over a year, she didn't just change in the 2 weeks you guys have been apart, it's been a long time coming. It might very well be too late but, do your best to show your REAL feelings for her. Don't be fake and don't tell her you've changed, show her you've changed.

Be yourself and don't force the hand holding thing. You think that's something she wants but right now, all she sees is you trying to hold her hand because she dumped you. That's not going to convince her that you've changed. Good luck!

Answer 4

It is very common to have those feelings after you break up with someone. But, remember that you wanted to be apart to breakup in the first place.. so.. here is what I suggest:

1. Work out.

2. Buy yourself some new outfits.

3. Emotionally appear stable (even if you are breaking into a thousand pieces inside.. trust me it makes a difference).

4. Arrange chance meetings when you are with someone else that is not a romantic interest.. just friends and keep a few females in the mix.

5.... then find a super awesome chick to go out with and let her know about it via mutual friends..
tacky but true..

BUT MOST OF ALL PUT YOURSELF FIRST!
THAT MAKES YOU TOTALLY ATTRACTIVE THAT YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR APPEARANCE!

Answer 5

I am no expert, I think I would start by being her buddy again and adding more attention to her. Like she originally wanted, she evidently has a trust problem with you. You have to win her trust back. Try writing her a letter explaining your new found feelings. Explain to her they have always been there. But it took the two weeks of not being with her to make you realize it. She probably still has the same feelings for you and she does not trust you at the present time. Work on the trust . Above all do not tell her to trust you, let the trust build naturally.

Answer 6

Yes, you can get pregnant with out ejaculateing in her vagina. There is pre-ejaculation fluid that does contain seman. So there is a chance she can be preganant. But to be sure, take a pregancy test in a couple days. If you are extremely worried, Buy a morning after pill. They cost about 50 dollars, and can be bought without a perscription if you are over 18.

Answer 7

i think you have a problem here, buddy. anyway, just be patient. pursue her. show her you are really interested in her in a deeper sort of way and not just a friend. win back her affections for you. it may take a little time and effort but it's not too late yet. two weeks is not a very long time. you can still win her back. just work on it. good luck,boy.

Answer 8

okay, it is a pity that this time, she's the one who thinks of you of a buddy. maybe, she saw it the way you did before. but if you really want her back, try doing everything she loves, give her everything she loves, and be very sweet. that's usually the way to the girls heart. just don't act too hopeless because that's kinda a turn off.

if she still doesn't want to get back together, maybe she's not the girl for you. try to look for someone else. i know it's hard, but... anyone can look for someone else, if they just believe.

well, good luck with her dude!