i am trying to plan ahead. I have told 2 people in my family to knock it off and show some respect. The other family memebers don't 'get it' (they are passive and just want the family together no matter what... just shut up and show up kinda thing). So now if I go to family gathering and someone starts in on me with guilt, or telling me what is best for my kids, picking on my kids, picking on me.... I don't want to cause a scene (I am already looked down upon because I stand up for myself). How to handle this situation as quietly as possilbe so not everybody frowns on me and gets mad at me....
2007-02-02 17:54:17 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just don't GO no one has the right to pick on you or your kids i have left family gathering be for and you can to the same. You are a grown woman who cares what your family thinks says or does!!!
2007-02-02 18:04:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have a couple of options, and one of them is to not go to family gatherings.
If you do choose to go, then you need to do some honest reflection first. Who is it that is criticizing you? Is this a person whose opinion you value? If it is not, then brush the criticism off. What is being criticized? Sometimes when people criticize me there is some truth to what they are saying. I never like to admit that, even to myself, but to be quite honest - you need to examine what is being said to see if part of it is true, albeit exaggerated. If part of it is true, then work on that issue. If it is not, then shrug it off.
Just go into the next family gathering with your head held high and a GREAT BIG SMILE that you benignly bestow on everyone. If someone asks a criticism-type question, give a stupid non-answer with a SMILE. For instance: "Why don't you discipline that brat of yours?" You could say, "I've been wondering that myself lately." If the criticism is not phrased in a question, then after it is said you pause, look at them for a long moment, then in your most cultured voice say, "Thank you for sharing that with me." Then go on with your life. Change the subject and the person.
Oh, shoot, I almost forgot my best tip for avoiding people at gatherings - bring games for the children and spend the whole time playing with them.
2007-02-03 03:13:45 · answer #2 · answered by Cris O 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well IF they start the usual up - you could always say to them,"Can I have a word to you outside - now" and stick it to em outside, where its not going to create a scene.
OR you could just stuff them right up by being EVER so polite and gracious that they wont know what hit them. And - if anyone does say anything bad about you - the people who have seen you be all nice as pie - will never beleive the c.r.a.p they've been told!
2007-02-03 06:24:39 · answer #3 · answered by Eve M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do your best to avoid the confrontation. if not, do your best to yes them and walk away. I have been in these situations. Diffusing is not losing.
2007-02-03 02:01:40 · answer #4 · answered by soozemusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't go until you feel ready. You don't seem ready to go in peace and confidence. It may take a lifetime.. maybe years.. maybe 3 months.. take care of you first
2007-02-03 02:01:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋