I got involved with a guy who I thought was going to be the best relationship but he constantly threatened to kill me if I cheated on him,forced me to do sexual acts,forced me to stay on the phone with him even if I had to go to school the next day,but gave a fit when I threatened to leave him. I finally broke up with him but was that love or serious abuse?
2007-02-02 16:43:49 · 25 answers · asked by ~*jAmLoN*~ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
honey, that's not love. a person who loves you NEVER, EVER even TRIES to hurt the person they claim to love. being forced to do certain things is abuse, especially when you dont want to be doing them.. and threatening to kill you is a pretty.. scary thought there. it's a good thing you left him.. if it had been even a few weeks later, he might've abused you into thinking you couldnt leave him at all because you needed him. you did the right thing =)
never let a man do anything like that to you.. as soon as they put on foot out of line, look out for yourself and get as far away as possible, its not worth it. most of them that act this way are just insecure and in need of someone to vent on and they keep trophy girls but dont really love them.
hope everything goes well for ya nxt time around, take care =)
2007-02-02 16:51:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, hun, you know the answer...is this what you dreamed of when you were younger? Is this your fairy tale? You may feel that you loved him because he made you feel helpless and needy. Maybe you have been in that role previously and it felt comfortable. A real man would never threaten you. A love would want to see you happy and well rested to say the least. You should take control. I bet he wold be surprised!!!! You deserve the best you can give yourself. Please stay away and check on him in a few years, better yet check on his girl....he sounds very dangerous. Is he someone you would leave your children with/ Can you see your future in his eyes? Is he all that you need? I've been there.... do get away plese it sounds too familiar and will only get worse, plus it will never last. What would you tell your child if she asked you this?
2007-02-03 00:51:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ABUSE...! My advice to you is file a 'No Contact Order of Protection'...This guy definately has some serious emotional/control issues...and you should seek some counseling as well...There may be an underlying reason you chose this guy...This pattern of behavior could get you into a cycle of becoming abused...and you deserve much better than that...There are too many mature guys out there...Keep you heart open to the kind of guys that treat you well...My moto is this: If you like who you are when you are with them...then you are on the right path...Follow that 'still small voice of reason' within you...If you think it is abuse...feel as if you are being manipulated or forced into something...then, it is not a healty connection...Good book to read: Boundaries in Dating...! Full of helpful information regarding dating relationships...Best to you..! Be good to yourself..! ciao, CAKES
2007-02-03 01:01:25 · answer #3 · answered by CAKES 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't know the difference between abuse and love, you don't need to be involved with any guy. No one has the right to force you to do anything you don't want to do. Learn about self-empowerment and then you'll be ready for a normal relationship.
2007-02-03 00:52:54 · answer #4 · answered by miri-miri-off-the-wall 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's definitely abuse. Extreme abuse.
No guy should EVER be able to force you into something you don't want to do. And please NEVER feel compelled to do anything uncomfortable for some guy who's playing a power game.
Sounds like a true a**hole, sounds like the kind of guy I'd really like to pull aside and give a taste of physical abuse.
2007-02-03 01:26:25 · answer #5 · answered by Jordan P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like some abuse to me :(. You don't deserve to be abused, I think you deserve love, and lots of it. Find yourself a mate who loves you, cares about you, and will do anything for you. Not demand it from you, or threaten :(. You deserve the best, because you're worth it!
2007-02-03 00:47:18 · answer #6 · answered by ♥♫!♫♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you did the right thing, I have seen family members in the same situation, and i believe its best to leave ASAP. As for the relationship, I dont believe it was love, More of a Dominence thing. The one feels to have control over the other to the extint of threatening their life.
2007-02-03 00:47:57 · answer #7 · answered by Jacoby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you kidding? LOVE? NO WAY........ That was VERY VERY VERY Serious abuse, he could get charged for threating to kill you and making you perform sexual acts... SERIOUSLY... if you got away safe from him, your just lucky, but be careful he might come back and hurt you, so if you see any signs of something bad happening by him, report the police!
2007-02-03 00:48:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes that is mental abuse. The thing that gets me is you tolerated it. Don't worry about him, try to help or change him.
Worry about yourself.
I think maybe you should go talk to a counsellor about it so it doesn't happen to you again. I don't want to see you going down the same road.
2007-02-03 00:47:17 · answer #9 · answered by Blah Blah Blah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow!! Sometimes my wife and I will roleplay like that, but it just roleplaying. Sounds like a real abuser. Good thing you left him. I am sure that he will come back to you and be all sweat and shyt and using all the right words. Do not go back. Later.
2007-02-03 00:47:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋