someone tell me a really random funny story.?

Question

please.
it dont even have to make since.

Answer 1

let me tell you a story about a guy named RED BACKWARDS. RED BACKWARDS was a fireman at a small city that caused that mass invasion of Germany in 2004. This city also created the atomic bomb filled with eggs that made it brittle and useless, unless you actually wanted eggs to like eat and throw at cars during homecoming not like i would ever do such a thing. one day RED BACKWARDS died. he descended into hell, on the third day he rose again and ascended into ur face. then RED BACKWARDS was like, God, im dead and he was like ok and i was like ok and we were like ok oko ok!!! omg shoes lets get some muffins at cunningham muffins!!!! ahhggggggg hoe dont talk ima betch slap u shetbag. then RED BACKWARDS saw ur mom's face and was like, "thats ur mom's face" and e'erone was like good job der and he's like yep ima crack some heads together. then DER went deerhunting, only to find out it was tourist season; not deer season. so he went to a startrek convention and bought some sweet shoes at the stand with the number shifty-5!! SHIFTY-5 SHIFTY 5 shifty 5 ahhh666 hes coming for you !!! ahhh thank the lord that 06/06/06 is over jeeeezzzz all your base are belong to us the next day DER left his home and traveled to the far away land of terabithia and created his own prositute/slave/maid/mom/remote finder whene'er he wanted the #$@#$ remote/electrician and used her to construct a house made from shoes and muffins chemically bonded together by a synthesis type bond!!!!111 hey same car hEy sAmE cAr!!!111 omg i saw this show on tv called DER left for work that day with high expectations. he wanted to finish med-school,but not get caught for the drugs he had in his gym locker at his house cuz he doesnt own a gym der!!! omg i hope u actually read this cuz it took DER a long A LLLLOOOONNNGGGG time to go through these 2.6 seconds of his day cuz he is incompetent

Answer 2

Random Funny Stories

Answer 3

Random Stories

Answer 4

One day there was this man that went to a beach completely naked even though the beach was a non-nude beach.

But the man thought and thought looking around. Nobody is here so he doesn't care. He takes off his towel and lays down with a newspaper to cover his privates just in case.

Soon comes a little girl that asks "Sir, what's under the newspaper?"

The man replies with "it's a birdy and never ever touch it."

He soon falls asleep.

Later on when he wakes up, he's in the hospital feeling immense pain around his private area. The doctors ask what happened and all he could remember was the girl at the beach.

Later on the cops arrive at her house asking what she had done. She said "well I was playing with the birdy but then it spit this white stuff at me. I got really mad. So I broke it's neck, stepped on it's eggs, and burned it's nest."

Answer 5

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This isn't random,but it's funny! I was in the car with my grandma and cousin,and before my cousin and I go in the movie place,she is like,"'Don't cause a scene.'"And my cousin and I were like we won't.So right when we enter,my cousin steps on the back of my shoe and I almost fall to the floor.And guess what?There was a lot of people up front checking out.And let me say,there isn't ever anyone there.And they all stare.And my cousin and I,we start busting out laughing.

Answer 6

It's an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, Man had always assumed that he was the most intelligent species occupying the planet, instead of the *third* most intelligent. The second most intelligent were of course dolphins. Dolphins had long known of the impending destruction of earth and had on many occasions tried to alert mankind but their warnings were mistakenly interpreted as amusing attempts to punch footballs or whistle for titbits.

Answer 7

Alright when i was little about 3rd grade i was in the lunchroom when i laughed really hard and all of a sudden i blew my nose all over my hand...everyone at the table laughed so hard at me...i really wanted to crawl under the table and hide until school was over...my girl Josette handed me a napkin and i ran to the bathroom to wash my hands....it was a really bad day...but now that i look back i really have to laugh

Answer 8

Okay this a total blonde moment on my part. We had just got a new phone book for 2007, so I thought it would be fun to look up our number...it was under my boyfriends last name-Heaslip. So there I am looking at our number and then wonder....how many other Heaslips live in the same city as us.....ohh look there is another one....and ohhh my god they live in the same building as us!!! Totally freaking me out right!! So I asked my boyfriend....do you know who this other A. Heaslip is????? Then he gives me a funny look.....and that's when I realize it's his sister who lives a floor below us..........duh..........like I said total blonde moment!!!!

Answer 9

A GIRLS FIRST TIME

Its your first time, as you lie back your muscles tighten.You put him off for a while searching for an excuse,but he refuses to be swayed as he aproches you.He asks if your afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but its the first time his finger has found the right place.He probes deeply and you shiver your body tenses but hes gentle like he promised hed be. He looks deeply within your eyes an tellys you to trust him. Hes done this many times before. His col smile relaxes you so you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. You begin to pleed and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time,
wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer going deeper. You feel the tisue give way pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight tickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned an asks you if its to painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins goin in and out with skill but you are now to numb to feel him within you. after a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you smiling warmly, tells you with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experirnce. You smile and thank your dentist. After all it was your first time to have your tooth pulled out.

Answer 10

Here is a dirty one. Everyone who is underage cover your eyes.

A guy and his girlfriend are going to do dirty, but man he is drunk. So drunk in fact that he is having a hard time getting himself to perform. After a while they decide they are going to turn off the lights and he is going to chow down. So the guy starts to chow down and man is he drunk. He is just going to town like he would on an ice cream cone. He finds the little round nub and man he starts to really go at it. His girlfriend is loving it and she starts giggling like never before. This makes him put more effort into it and chews it a bit with his teeth, however he is horrified as the little nub breaks off into his mouth. His girlfriend doesn't seem to notice, but he is thinking man he has messed up his girlfriend. He spits it out and puts it in his hand and continues to keep going since his girlfriend obviously doesn't know it. After he finishes he heads to the bathroom and turn on the light expecting to see his girlfriends nub, but to his shock he sees part of a green bean covered in crap.