how do i get my 8 year old to stop pretending to be hurt when he doesn't get his way when playing sports?

Question

he acts hurt, cries...and its hard to decifer true pain from just a bruised ego, how can i handle this?

Answer 1

tell him the story about crying wolf. how when wolf would cry and cry to get attention but wasn't hurt. but then one day when the wolf really was hurt, no one paid attention because he always pretended to be hurt. so when it came time to really need help, no one was there.

Answer 2

LOLZ.....................YOU COULD TRY TO TEACH HIM FROM RIGHT TO WRONG OR YOU CAN JUZ GROUND HIM THOSE THINGS I'LL MAYBE HELP KNOW NOT TO PRENTEND AND THAT IT'S VERY BAD! GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 3

communication, the 8 year old's feelings are feelings. unless someone reinforced parental approval if he and only he wins.
negative reinforcement really does not work in some cases, repeat criminal offenders, stalkers, ... all done with drugs as a pernament solution, even medical procedures... vs. death penalty. some victims in there due to child raising, 'divorce is a fact of life, so is abortion.'
Even chemical castration of sex predators, no town tracking or police probation checks... psycho ward. Just imagine if strict Lenin, Mao, Hitler great-grandson became a victim, then sat in a jail clinic for hours.

Answer 4

Approach each time in the exact same manner. Don't panic or show "mommy" concern. Simply examine the situation in a matter-of-fact way and determine if he's really hurt. You should also talk to him privately about how he feels. Don't say, "You're faking it because you're not getting your way." Ask him what he likes best about playing sports and what he likes least. From there you can guide the conversation to get him to open up about it. Ask him to list a variety of ways to deal with not getting his way (maybe word it differently) and together figure out what the best options are. Talk to him about sportsmanship and show him examples of real sports players who exhibit great sportsmanship. This Sunday might be a great day to do it.

Go Bears!

Answer 5

If there's blood or bone showing, it's real. ALWAYS wait to see his reaction before YOU react! This might take a week(?) since he's had plenty of time to practice, but kids this age nearly always look for your reaction before they act up. If there is real pain, he won't wait to make sure you see him "hurting" first. No matter what, stick with it. He will look for you to waiver.
Good luck!

Answer 6

On the playground when I was a teacher on duty, if we had a "chronic injured child", I always took the best care of him/her and made sure they didn't get involved in that very dangerous game for the rest of recess. They would try to go back and I wouldn't let them because I re=assured them it was far too dangerous for today. They quickly learned only to come to me when they were hurt and not just "playing hurt".

Answer 7

just tell him that he cannot and will not get his way all of the time. tell him that even adults don't get there way all of the time. tell him that he needs to learn to accept loss once in awhile because if he don't then he is going to have a real big problems in life. as far as telling if it is for real or not, if he is really hurting then you will notice him truely crying not just fake crying, holding something and he won't really care if he is getting to do something or not because he is sore. if he acts hurt until he gets his way then you know that it is not real.. hope this helps. good luck.

Answer 8

If he is not happy playing then negotiate and find a sportthat he does want to play.Its his way of saying I dont want to play that sport.Find some mutual ground and find a sport that he might be interested in.Too many parents force their kids to play a sport that they like themselves.Let your child choose.Go to the library and find some books on different type of sports.

Answer 9

tell him if he's hurt he won't be able to participate any more if he's really hurt he won't care if not he will straighten up

Answer 10

He may be trying to tell you that he doesn't want to participate in that sport. For an 8 year old it is important that he knows that you are going to love him and support him even if he doesn't perform perfectly. This is a hard message to get through to him by just talking to him. He needs to see this in action.

At the same time it sounds like he is establishing a pattern of behavior that you want to stop. So you have to be sure that you do not reward him for acting hurt. He may actually be hurt so you have to be careful with this. The goal is have him be a good sport, develop some athletic skills, and have fun.

He is going to learn sportsmanship from your example so perhaps do something together with him. Riding bikes, bowling, badminton or even just play board games together.

In not very long peer pressure will take care of the crying. He won't want to cry in front of his friends.

Anecdotal speaking there was a friend of my sons who cried during soccer games when he got tired and missed shots that resulted in a goal. He would limp off the field saying he would have been able to block the shot if he hadn't sprained his ankle. He grew out of that and is now a very strong, self assured kid who has had very challenging and physically demanding summer jobs.

The most important part of your question though was how do you handle this - My recommendation is to just handle this with patience and love. Your son will remember your support and guidance.