My three-yr-old son lives in amicable shared custody, and his dad's new wife has a son the same age, so in a way they are a bit like brothers. She, the new wife, wants both boys to attend a primary school that is a bit too far away for me. She's a bit of a bully about it. I would much prefer that my son go to the school just over the road from my house. It's a nice school.
I also think there are advantages to siblings going to different schools - they won't be competing against each other, they get to develop as individuals, they aren't arguing with the same friends, they can each shine without comparison to the other.
What do you think is better - same school, or different school?
Thanks for your advice.
2007-02-02 16:20:00 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I have 2 step-daughters, one is the same age as my son and they go to the same middle school. This is great, they are very close as long as their other friends aren't around.. lol My other s-daughter (5) goes to a different primary school than my 7 year old daughter. This is hard because we do not see her as much. We have joint custody of both but the one that attends the same school is with us every day until her Mom gets home from work. The other lives about 1/2 hour away. I wish she was in the same district. As far as competition, a little competition never hurt anyone.
As far as her bullying you into which school to send YOUR son? She has NO say. This is between you and your ex.... she can bully all she wants but she gets no vote here. Believe me, as a step-mom, it drives me nuts sometimes. My husband and I do discuss matters but it is his decision. Do what you feel is best for your Son. If there is shared custody, they will have plenty of time to bond at home. Good luck to you.
PS... Why doesn't she send her son to the school of your choice??
2007-02-03 01:10:28 · answer #1 · answered by RaLoh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure how I would answer your question exactly, but I will say this and maybe it will help in some way...
This is my experience, relating to your question: I am 22 right now. I have had one step brother and one step sister since I was about 10 or 11. The stepsister is my age, and the step brother is 2 years older than me...
My stepsister and I ended up attending the same school, while my stepbrother attended a completely different one, a few towns away. The result?
I don't even feel like I know my stepbrother, that's for sure.
Me and my stepsister never got in fights, or anything close actually. In fact, we pretty much kept our distance at school, but compared to my stepbrother, I do feel like I know her.
So I'm sure they will get to develop themselves, and probably won't argue that much. But, this depends on a lot, like size of school and their personalities.
But I don't know, good luck with it all!
2007-02-02 16:30:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you share custody you will not have the ultimate responsibilty of picking him up and dropping him off 24-7, so I dont think that should be an issue...
I'm also wondering if the boys are friends? There's really no greater joy than having a sibling to share things with and competion is just natural, they will ultimately have to deal with this in life anyway.
Forgive me, it just sounds as though you have a problem with letting her make this decision, and BELEIVE ME I would too!!!!!!
But it really is about his benefit and if yout hink he will benefit more from attending school on his own then I say go for it!!
2007-02-02 16:39:24 · answer #3 · answered by Speak 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a stepson when me and his dad got married he had just turn 2 i already had a girl from a different marriage they are 6 months apart but started school at the same time they are now 10 and in 4th grade they attend different schools in different cities they have their own friends but when he comes on the weekends they compare what they are learning and where each is at in class but they still compete with each other i do not think you can stop that but it healthy compation i just let them know they are both smart just in different areas also when he comes he has a whole new group of friends to play with and hang out with
2007-02-06 04:50:26 · answer #4 · answered by tl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think different schools sound like a good idea in this situation. If they go to the same school she is going to continually try to compare your son with hers which she will probably do anyway but at least he won't be at her son's school where she can keep up with him more. Also she won't be able to feed ideas into the teacher's minds about you or your son. Tell her you are his mother and you want him closer to home.
2007-02-02 16:33:50 · answer #5 · answered by precious1too 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how much time your son spends at your house and whether he essentially stays with his father and his wife full-time.
If he spends most of his time with you then I don't think its her call with regard to what school your son goes to. If he essentially lives with his father and her most of the time then maybe it makes sense (if they live as brothers) that they just go to the same school.
They're so little and haven't started school yet, so it isn't like you'd be moving your son to a new school just because his father is married.
For the most part, I think its your call unless his father has more say over what happens than you do.
2007-02-02 18:29:45 · answer #6 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a school setting, unless they are the same class..they will hardly see eachother anyway.
2007-02-03 00:12:06 · answer #7 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stick to you guns...
different schools
she is trying to manipulate you by using your son as a weapon...
let them be weekend friends
2007-02-02 16:23:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly i dont no
2007-02-02 16:23:08 · answer #9 · answered by GAGE R 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋