i'm so confused...help me please!!?

Question

ok...here we go
two/ three weeks ago:
i'm really good friends w/ this guy, like really good friends and i kinda started to like him and i told him, but i also told him that i didn't want things to change. well we talked about it and he's like well if you decide that you want to talk about things changing then tell me and well talk about it.
***
wendsday:
he came over and i brought us us changing and hes like (his almost exact words) i thought about it to but i don't think that change is best for us now b/c were both really bussy w/ school and my semester is just starting and i have alot to get done. and if we were to go out and end up breaking up i wouldn't want space to be put inbetween us and loose the base that we have.

me:ok heres what i wanted to say earlier,
we could try it, and see how it works and if its not working out then we can stop...i don't want to loose you b/c your too importiant to me and i would seriously lock my-self in my room and cry foever, i'm not

even kidding. i know that its not set in stone. i would feel better knowing that we tried if things didn't work out that not trying at all and always wondering "what if"...idk, it just feels kind of akward not trying it...also it could work out.

him:And I understand. And I know all about the "what if" feeling. But if we decide to put distance between us, then that's the only worry. Look, like I said, don't freak out. And we did just start hanging out again, and you are always busy. Like I said, don't freak. That's the last thing you need. Look, don't take things too seriously. Life's no fun that way.

idk...then tonight

we were in the band room for pep-band, and i hear him talking to of his friends (that like compleetly hates me for some reason) and hes like yeah, she kinda asked me out, in a o-my-gosh-i-can't-belive- that- she-did-that- she-never-would-have-a-chance-...i was standing right there...its not like i'm deaf and can't hear him say it to her... idk

he makes me confused
basicly i want to know if you think that this guy is worth it and if i should call him and ask him about the whole band room thing.

guys are so confusing...i dislike them right now

Answer 1

First of all you need to stand up for yourself.

Ask him what he means when he talks about change. Ask him what he thinks about you.

I seriously hope you can tell whether or not he is telling you the truth. Please do not fall for any mind games which is what I think he is playing with you.

You need to know the truth. And if you think for one second that he is lying to you, then move on.

Because if he just wants to have sex and nothing more, it is better that you know now. Otherwise you could end up being hurt.

Take it from me honey, not all guys are selfish pr%$cks.

Answer 2

I'm sorry, but he is not interested in you as a girlfriend right now. If he was even a little interested, he wouldn't make up excuses about school work, that's a pretty lame excuse. He likes you as a friend, that's it. Why not more? Well, it could be that he's not physically attracted to you right now, so there's no chemistry for him. It could be that he's known you for so long that he knows all your weaknesses and he's too young to understand that everyone has a bunch of weaknesses (including him) and he should be greatful to know that you trust him enough to open up to him. Or it could be that he's into another girl (although that's not likely, you'd probably know about it). It also looks like you may have acted a bit clingy towards him and scared him off for now.

Either way, the school work excuse should have been enough of a hint, but now that you've heard him talking with his friend, there's no doubt about it. I'm sorry, but I think he has a little bit of an ego issue. He obviously thinks he's better than you and he can get someone better than you to date.

So what do you do? Well, first you need to completely stop being dependent on him emotionally and gain some self-confidence. You need to take a look inside (and outside) and figure out what all your qualities are. For one, you seem like you're nice towards others. Are you also decent looking? Smart? Funny? Do you have any cool talents? Take a self-inventory and build your confidence on that. Hopefully you'll realize that you don't need him to make you happy, you have plenty to offer to a guy, so he wouldn't be doing you any favors by liking you. You don't need to beg a guy to like you. Now take that newly found confidence and let him and others see it. Act with respect towards others, but also demand that they treat you with respect. Be more independent, start spending less time with him and more with your other friends. If your friends are lame, find some new ones. Let him see you be totally independent and happy, let him see that you don't need him, being with you is a priviledge, not a chore. He should have never taken you for granted.

Confidence and happiness attract people like a magnet. So dig deep and find those things within you and let others see that. You'll have more attention from guys than you know what to do with and you don't even have to resort to acting slutty, like some of your friens might. I'm sure he'd change his mind about you pretty quick too, seing all of his friends wanting to go out with you.

My personal advice though, would be to not take him back. Obviously he didn't think you're good enough for him, and even if he realizes later that he was wrong, the chances of you two working out are not that great. Let him be your friend if he wants, but I KNOW you can find someone better to be with.

Respect yourself, be confident, be happy and everything will turn out great. Take care!