I want to laugh. Whats the best joke/riddle you know?
2007-02-02 15:11:39 · 9 answers · asked by shizzy 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Keep it PG
2007-02-02 15:31:29 · update #1
I can't choose, but this is one of them:
Q: What do you get when you eat a Blackberry?
A: Bluetooth XD
2007-02-02 15:15:43 · answer #1 · answered by Peanut to the rescue! 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. It was revoked when I got my 5th DWI.
Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his Captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the Captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Whose car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration. The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!
2007-02-02 23:14:57 · answer #2 · answered by blackx4life 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
This guy dies and goes to hell and he complains to the devil how he does not deserve to be in hell. The devil tells him that hell is not that bad, he might actually enjoy it. The devil asks him "Do you drink?" To which the guy replies "of course I do", the devil tells him how good that is because Monday is drinking day and everyone drinks as much as they can. "Do you gamble" was the devils next question and the guy replies that indeed he does. "Tuesday is gamble day, cards, dice you name it and no one loses", says the devil. "How about women? asks the devil. The guy tells him that he loves women and the devil tells him about women Wednesday, where the women are most plentiful. The devil looks at the guy and asks "are you gay?' When the guy shockingly tells him "no way!!""
The devil tells him that "you are really going to hate Thursdays"
ROFLMAO
2007-02-02 23:25:24 · answer #3 · answered by I see dumb people 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Henny Youngman was known as the King of Oneliners, and I about died laughing when I heard him tell this one: "What kind of fool am I? Take your pick!"
2007-02-02 23:18:01 · answer #4 · answered by ih8stupidpeepl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I posted this one earlier today:
Did you hear about the old lady that wanted to commit suicide? She went the doctor and asked where her heart was. He said it's just below your left breast. She went home and shot herself in the knee!!!!
2007-02-02 23:32:15 · answer #5 · answered by Give life. Be an organ donor! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what do yiou get when you cross a parot and a shark?
An animal that talks your head off!
what time is it whene an elephant sits on your jeep?
time to get a new jeep!
2007-02-02 23:34:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Where does a one leg waitress work?
IHop
2007-02-02 23:55:05 · answer #7 · answered by sup 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i like blackx's joke, but it was just a little too long!!
but here's my all time favorite riddle
Q. HOW DO YOU CATCH A TAME MOUSE??
A. UNIQUE UP ON HIM!!
Q. HOW DO YOU CATCH A UNIQUE MOUSE?
A. THE TAME WAY.... UNIQUE UP ON HIM!!
enjoy!!
2007-02-03 00:04:30 · answer #8 · answered by short fat white girl 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
excuse me, blackx4life, this is the Captain speaking, where you or were you not guilty of perjury?
2007-02-02 23:25:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋