is it right for a hostee of a baby shower to ask you for an invitation list, then tell you your 2 1/2 year old

Question

grandchild may not attend

Answer 1

reading Your question It looks like you are the hostess for the party.
First a child of that age is too young to have learned the manners
that the social setting of a baby shower calls for.
the child is better off with a sitter in another room or at a playground during the party.

At Any Party
if the party is not a suprise party then the guest of honor of the party has a right to see the list before the invites are sent out
and exclude those attendees who could be considered inappropriate or unwelcome. drunk fathers, ex husbands, children who have not learned "company manners" et cetera.

They may also make suggestions of who they want invited but as hostess you can limit the number of invitations

the reason that you go over the guest list before they are sent
if you and the guest of honor have a serious disagreement on the guest list. either of you can back out of the party
once invitations are sent. you are committed.

Answer 2

I am assuming that the "invitation list" is a roster of people whom you think ought to be present at the shower. This is common if the host/hostess is unfamiliar with the honouree's family and friends.

And, yes, although you may wish your grandchild to be present, the person hosting the event (or any event) makes the rules. If you do not agree with them, then you decline the invitation without fuss or bother.

Answer 3

Some baby showers are for adults only, while others include children. Some are for women only, and some now also invite men.

If any other young children are invited, but not your grandchild, then this hostess is wrong. If no children are invited, it's going to be an adult party, and the hostess might have her reasons (not enough room for everyone's kids, or too late for kids).

Answer 4

Why would a grandmother automatically assume that her small grandchild would be welcomed at an adult party?

I am sure that I wouldn't want a little one pulling at the decorations, or crying and distracting people who are there to enjoy themselves and honor the mother to be.

Who is the hostee? Did you mean hostess?

Answer 5

Sure. When the hostess asked you for an invitation list she probably expected the names of only adults.

I think most people take it for granted that a baby shower is a child-free zone unless otherwise specified.

Answer 6

I'm not sure what you mean by asking for an invitation list. Did she need to get contact names from you, or was she asking who you wanted to invite?
In any case, the host of a party has every right to exclude children from an event, particularly if it is being held at her house or a venue that is inappropriate for children.

Answer 7

Well, think of it this way... she probably has a nice, classy affair planned and wants the focus to be on the guest of honor that day. With young children screaming and running about, it would be a whole different kind of party. Not saying that it wouldn't be a good thing or bad thing, but a different party, nonetheless.

Plus... the other guests may have kids and would likely bring them along if they could. By telling them not to bring theirs, but allowing you to bring YOURS, that would be unfair to all of them and make for a very uncomfortable situation.

Answer 8

Yes, they can. This may seem harsh but sometimes we need to understand that certain situations are not for kids. This will be a grown-up setting so don't get mad at someone for telling you something sensible. I kinow that it may be hard to find someone to babysit. If that is the case I understand but don't just bring a 21/2 yr. old to a baby shower just for the sake of being there. It can get real hectic and most of them are real late in the evening.

Answer 9

Ettiquette says if it is a no children party, yes, she has the right to say it, especially if it is at her house. It is her party, she can invite whoever she wants, or not.
It would be rude to include, however, some children the age of your grandchild, but not yours.
And who can blame her,for invoking the invite who I want rule.
We all see parents and grandparents letting their kids run wild, tearing up stores and restaurants. and with our lawsuit happy culture, I would not want to take the chance that a child would come into my house, and hurt themselves.
Sorry to say, I have that rule at my house. If my friend is babysitting for her grandchildren, I meet her out in the commmunity, or at her home, if she wants to see me. Long ago, when it was her 2 year old daughter was being brought to my house for a visit, she let the brat climb on my white sofa with her shoes on, and reach for and pull off collector's ornament from the Christmas tree. When I said, no, please don't let her, she informed me I should have child-proofed my house before they came, and she bet there were chemicals under my sink, and that I did not have plugs for the electric recepticles. This for a 1 and 1/2 hour visit. So, I was to have taken down the tree and all the decorations, buy plugs for the recepticles, put all the chemicals up, all sharps up, anything heavy over the level childs head away, cover all the furniture, put anything breakable away, buy a gate for the stairwell and have it installed, in other words, spend days and hundreds of dollars to childproof my home for a short visit, all because the lazy -- would not watch her own kid. In case you had not guessed, God did not see fit to give me a child, and so, I decorated my house for me, china, crystal, white furniture. I would rather have had a child, I longed for one, but since I do not...It would have been nice for my friend not to have rubbed that in my face.
So, again, I do not blame the woman. If she wants to use the social event to show off her house, and does not want to empty it out so a child won't hurt itself there, I personally can't blame her.
And if she does not wish to be around children, because her friends like to rub her aloneness in her face, or because it hurts to be around them, I do not blame her for that, either.

Answer 10

Yes. The host (or the host's personal assistant/planner) makes all the decisions regarding the party/event he/she is hosting. He/she could require that everybody wear neon orange if s/he wanted to. It's the invitee's choice whether to attend.