To the most black and hispanic men, I am perfection. Im a medium to light tone, have black curly wavy hair. Small waist medium to large buttocks, handfull sized breasts. Im smart funny, i can be insecure at times, strong willed and playful. My point is with not alot of work, if I wanted to I can get any guy I set my mind on. Right now Im frazzled. For 4 months me an this guy were courting. Said he wanted to make it official, needed to settle things with an x first. Finally hes settled things, im thinking were movin on in our relationship. nope, he actually just shut it down. now he wants to take it slow. said he likes to depend on me. Im wondering if I look stupid. the guy told me he doesnt want a relationship, yet whenever he calls I go see him. hes hungry I feed him, we even sleep in the same bed at times no sex. he has all the benefits of a gf, without the rules. what am i getting? i dont even know. i dont know why I like being with him so much, even after all of this.
2007-02-02 14:25:46 · 14 answers · asked by Roma 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Babe, it sounds like he's getting it too easy, he needs to remember the quality of the goods on offer. Add a bit of jelousy to your relationship, tell him how you got chatted up the other week (make it up if need be), also don't go round to his whenever he calls, tell him you are busy right now, but don't say doing what, just say I'm busy. Us guys hate that, it sends messages to us that you are having a good time and that I'm not needed. It gets our heads asking questions and we want to know what could possibly be better than hanging out with me (really, we do think that highly of ourselves).
It builds good tension and reminds him not to take you for granted, my girlfriend did this to me loads and that excited me, not knowing what she was doing that was so great, it also made me paranoid that she was off with some hunk, it worked, because I never took her for granted and kept me wanting her.
If this still doesn't work ditch him and get yourself a man who does want you, and from what you say it doesn't sound like that would be too hard....!
Good luck
2007-02-02 14:45:15 · answer #1 · answered by Paul L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok. I'm not sure what all the explaining and justification was about (you're perfect, can get any man you want, etc.....) It's funny that you should go on about yourself like this, and then say that you can be insecure at times. Anyways, no matter what, I know one thing for sure .... you're just as much human as every one else. I wouldn't call you stupid ... just yet. But, I would advise that when looking into this situation you keep it simple. If it don't feel right ... stop doing it. If you feel like the things that you are doing for him should only be done for someone you're in a relationship with, than stop doing those things for him. If you want a relationship with him, then bring that to his attention. And, also, no matter how perfect you think you are for him (and everybody else), he has to agree with this in order for it to work for you.
2007-02-02 22:38:30 · answer #2 · answered by jalucia2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your not a fool because you wouldn't be asking this question. You are seeing him for what he really is. He is trying to use you in more ways than one. You should not be at his every beck and call. Girl, leave the zero right where he wants to be and find you someone who is willing to give the 110% that you are giving to a relationship. Let him find another fool. He may be still having sex with the ex and that is why he is not doing anything with you. Move Forward.
2007-02-02 22:34:21 · answer #3 · answered by michellej 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to seperate yourself from him because you know you're being used. It's not good for other guys to depend on you because then he'll never leave. If he doesn't want a relationship then you should let him know what's up because he's goin to stay as long as you feed him and what not
2007-02-02 22:29:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being available. I did it and 2 months later - he was a serious boyfriend. 3 months later, engaged. 5 months after that - married. Back off so he know you aren't as safe and maybe he'll step up. If he doesn't. Move on.
2007-02-02 22:29:53 · answer #5 · answered by lucki female 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what are you getting?
the short end of the stick.
I would dump him and now. Or just toss him out. He might be having 2nd thoughts or thinking he moved too quickly but dear, if u have to question it, then it isn*t for you :)
2007-02-02 22:30:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's using you. I'd give him an ultimatum, because it sounds like you're not getting what you need and want out of the relationship. He's getting what he wants with no commitment.
2007-02-02 22:29:52 · answer #7 · answered by shorteegrrl588 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay. just break-up with him. hes not worth it.
just dont go to him when he calls or watevr.
you even said it yourself, quote "i dont kno why i like being with him so much, even after all of this"
you deserve better. you say it yourself that most black n hispanice guys think your hott. so yea get a better guy
2007-02-02 22:31:00 · answer #8 · answered by twistedloves 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out while you can... if you do stay on with him, it will be more difficult to leave a relationship with such insecurities.
2007-02-02 22:30:00 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't seem like he's as into you and you are into him. But that doesn't seem to be hurting your self esteem at all!
2007-02-02 22:30:30 · answer #10 · answered by Ann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋