My boyfriend of three years is nearly 34. We've talked about marriage, but I want kids and he does not. However before he met me he never thought he wanted to get married either. I'm only 25 so I'm not worried about time. Is it possible that he could change his mind? What do you think?
Have you been in a similar situation, and what happened for you?
2007-02-02 14:18:48 · 12 answers · asked by lauren c 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Guys are pretty honest about this stuff. If they say they don't want something, listen. Honey, I'd never waste my time waiting for a guy to change his mind. How many years do you want to waste?
2007-02-02 14:25:37 · answer #1 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He'll probably change - I've been in a nearly identical situation, and as a guy gets older, the idea of kids becomes more and more appealing for some reason.
I'm single now - and I regret not choosing to have kids the few times I had the opportunity whilst younger... my mistake...
If you get married, I'm pretty sure he'll change his mind in the next 4 or 5 years... I know I did...
-dh
2007-02-02 22:22:43 · answer #2 · answered by delicateharmony 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was never against getting married, but I wasn't sure I wanted kids. My girlfriend talked me into it, and so we got married and then had a daughter. We've been married for five years, our daughter is three. I like to tell people that I like being a dad so much, that if I would have known how much I was going to like it I would have started in high school. Now my wife wants to leave me. So, maybe you could change his mind, but maybe you want to find someone that you love for who they are, and not for what you think they can grow up to be.
The problem isn't whether or not you can change his mind, really. The problem is that you don't love him as he is. If you did love him as he is, you would be happy to marry him whether he wanted kids or not.
2007-02-02 22:25:12 · answer #3 · answered by cy ko tic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two situations:
My wife and I. She wanted one child and I never wanted any. She married me with the understanding that no way, no how would there ever be kids. After five years of marriage, my views have not changed and she has accepted it.
A friend of ours and her husband. She wanted kids, he said he didn't and then waffled saying "well mabe". After four years of marriage he decided that he didn't want kids and told her if she wanted to leave he's understand. Their divorce will be final this month.
the moral? Get on the same page before you get married.
2007-02-02 22:28:17 · answer #4 · answered by Timalicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I met a couple who after 3 years and knowing she did not want to have kids they still remained together but not married until she said she did want to have kids then they did.
It all is a risk; you cannot marry him thinking he will change because sometimes they do not change at all.
you should decide and talk to him abou this.
Is like saying he will marry you and hope you change your mind of not having kids.
Not everybody changes; it has to do with his experience and why he does not want kids; is he afraid, was he unhappy as a child etc....you have to see all those things and see how he is with kids too; that helps to see how they will be parents too.
2007-02-02 22:27:27 · answer #5 · answered by Pandora 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anytime I`ve been in dicussions about children my answer reflected how i felt about the mate. The fact that he`s considering marriage shows that he may be coming around. From a mans point of view why have children and pay out for 18years unless you are real sure that you`ll be together long term.
2007-02-02 22:32:02 · answer #6 · answered by grtoo9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haven't been there but my niece was and after 13 years she couldn't change his mind so they ended up divorcing. Of course that doesn't mean yours won't change his mind, we've all been known to change our minds. I would ask him though if he's willing to keep an open mind.
GOOD LUCK
2007-02-02 22:25:24 · answer #7 · answered by Just Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he says no kids don't think that he will change his mind.
you are going to go into this thinking he will change his mind and you will be very disapointed down the line. what will you say to him a fiew years later, oh i thought you were kidding???
this is a serious issue. get it resolved before it is too late.
take him at his word!!!!!!!!!!
2007-02-02 22:24:39 · answer #8 · answered by KRIS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible? Sure.
Would I marry him with the expectation that it will happen? Nope.
Marry someone for who they are at that time, not for who you hope they will be later.
2007-02-02 22:21:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, dont risk it. for all you know he might never decide to have kids and you would have wasted years, probably, just waiting for him tos ay yes. and even if you are only twenty five you'll regret it later
2007-02-02 22:24:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋