My names Andrew I have a son, hes 19 years old. Im 36, yes I was young when he was born. Hes been dating this girl, Ashley for six months now. Shes 17 but will be 18 in a few months. They like each other alot but im sure theyre not in love. Recently Ive been having feeling for Ashley that I shouldnt be having. I have urges to just grab her and kiss her. But I dont just like her on a physical level, shes a really sweet girl. A while ago I was sick and she was there to help me. And by the way Im not married or seeing anyone else. Im not sure what to do, should I act on the feelings later after she turns 18 or should I just keep quiet about it ? I would never "make a move on her" while theyre together. But I really dont think theyll be together for much longer and I dont know if I should ask her out or something when they do break up...
HELP me please, your advice is greatly needed and appreciated
Thank you, Andrew
2007-02-02 14:16:19 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That's your son. Blood is thicker than water.
2007-02-02 14:19:09 · answer #1 · answered by Need Answers 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Irrespective of any age difference, you would be better off to not act. Depending on how your son feels he may well always hold something for her, even if they break up. Personally even though some of my own relationships didn't end well I still hold them to be special and would not be impressed if my own Dad made a pass at them. The best thing to do is just be the boyfriend's Dad. Be friends by all means, but don't let it go any further than that.
2016-05-23 21:59:23 · answer #2 · answered by Darlene 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Andrew:
Why do you dislike your son so much that you are willing to risk losing your entire relationship with him over Ashley?
She is HIS girlfriend. Go get your own. And by the way, those feelings you have for her ARE strictly physical. No intellectual feelings for her would result in this type of weird thinking.
You were thinking clearly when you started your sentence, "I would never make a move on her." But you ruined the thought by adding,"while they're together."
It wouldn't matter if you waited until they broke up, you'd be damaging your son's psyche the moment you chase after Ashley.
You are so wrong, my friend. And you are not exhibiting good parenting skills. What type of an example are you wanting to set for your son?
2007-02-02 14:36:33 · answer #3 · answered by domesticgoddess 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find someone closer to your own age. She's still a CHILD for god sakes.. 18 or not. 36 years old may be young to have a 19 year old son but you're still pushing 40 and she's not even 20 yet. The age difference is too great. Your son will get ridiculed by his peers if you hook up with his 18 year old ex gf. Come on!
2007-02-02 14:25:52 · answer #4 · answered by •√¡rgő• 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Andrew, I think you are probably lonely, and when this sweet girl shows up with your son, and then helps you when you were sick, you think you are in love. It appears that it may have been some time since you've had someone to love and love you back, and so the first one that shows concern you have fallen for. It isn't just that she is your son's girlfriend...and some people think this is really sick...it's that you see something in her that you miss. Don't approach her, she will most likely be appalled, not because of the age difference but because you are his father. She will think what she did for you out of care was grossly mistaken as intimacy. Instead, get back in the dating scene, and look for someone more appropriate that is more apt to match your maturity level, your wants and needs. It isn't worth what you might lose, if you pursue this. To me, there's just a lot more psychology to it then thinking you are in love with someone, especially someone unattainable...or rather socially unattainable. I think you should really analyze yourself and your motives, so you can really find a suitable partner for yourself.
2007-02-02 14:36:21 · answer #5 · answered by sassy_395 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow not to be mean but thats just sick there is lots of websites you can go on to find that special person but not your oen son like mean your he's your son come on now :-0 oh and even if they do brake up it would still be mean if u go out with his X girlfriend an pluss your 36 an she is 17 goin on 18 .19 more years till shes 36 but do what u wont age is only a number.
2007-02-02 14:28:01 · answer #6 · answered by dat_cutie_u_call_ta_luva 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Andrew, You should not act on this ever. This will ruin your son and he may not want to have anything to do with you. I am sure that Ms. Ashely is not worth losing your son over. She may not see you like that. I think you need to get out of the house and start dating women your own age. Even after they break up you should not go after her, this is very wrong on a parent's behalf to do. He will not feel comfortable bring his girlfriends around you because he will be afraid that you may like them or hit on them.
2007-02-02 14:23:54 · answer #7 · answered by michellej 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen, Andrew.
You seem like a really nice guy who is really confused. You should NOT make passes at girls who are 17. That is how old you were when you had your son. So technically, that would be like making out with your child. How do you think your son would feel if he found out his father was having an affair with his girlfriend? PLEASE don't do anything, and maybe get counseling. I'm sorry you are going through a confusing time.
Good luck!
2007-02-02 14:24:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, definetly dont go for her because shes yorus ons girlfriend and even if they do breakup your son will be vulnerable and feel really weird and upset if you make a move on her. And no offense or anything but in ashley's defense i dont think shed want to go ut with her ex's dad or a 36 year old guy ,shes young she probably wants to date guys her age and i dont think her parents would be to happy, so keep your feelings to yourself
2007-02-02 14:22:21 · answer #9 · answered by Janelle S. 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I just looked over your past questions and you've already asked this about 6 times! You obviously have some problems and they run much deeper than your obsession with a 17 year old girl. Get a life and meet some ppl your own age.
2007-02-02 14:22:36 · answer #10 · answered by lysistrata411 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a grip man. What are you thinking? Your sons girlfriend? Do you love your son or are you ready to loose him? It'snot a good idea or should I say get a woman of your own and leave the kids alone. For the love of GOD.
2007-02-02 14:27:05 · answer #11 · answered by lynnie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋