Why am i so shy?

Question

I dont know why i am so shy. its so frustrating! im a very outgoing person and im very friendly and i get along with everyone and im a pretty good public speaker. but there is one thing that i cant do... i cant go up to a pretty girl and make conversation with her. when im around my friends im constantly blabbing about something but its like there is a mental block there or something. i can talk to girls that im not attracted to, but the pretty ones, i just cant do it. But if she comes up and talks to me im fine. how can i get over that fear?

Answer 1

That's so cute, although I'm sure you don't feel that it is. But that's kind of sweet in a way. It sets you apart from other guys, who think they are big shots. In other words, I hate arrogant guys. You sound like an awesome guy. So if you like someone you need to approach that person. The worst thing that could happen is the person could walk away, but that just means that it wasn't meant to be. Besides, you could approach a pretty girl, who is probably shallow.

Answer 2

It sounds to me like you fear rejection. You know you are accepted by your friends, and therefore can speak openly around them. Similarily, when a woman approaches you, you can be confident that she is interested in you, and this enables you to speak comfortably with her. This part about being able to talk to the ones you are not attracted to is very interesting also. You go on to say that it is the pretty ones you have problems with, suggesting you are only attracted to pretty women. This is fine and dandy I suppose, but if you wish to have a fulfilling emotional relationship on a permanent type basis at some point in your life, you will likely need to sacrifice in the looks department to a certain degree. I believe Ron White said something along the lines of "Dont marry for beauty, cuz appearance can be enhanced and modified, but you can't fix stupid." I'm just saying maybe there is a reason you don't feel comfortable with these "pretty" girls, but you do with these "unattractive" ones. Maybe the latter are the kind you truly are compatible with. Or maybe you just need to drink a bit from both cups. Satisfy your social, inter-personal, communicative type needs with the "unattractive" ladies by befriending some of them, and satisfy your physical ones with escorts. Maybe you're a hookers and blow type of guy.

Answer 3

Not sure, I have always been the same way and it drives me nuts. I get brain freeze when I open my mouth. 90% of the girls I have been with, made first contact. Try to put yourself in a non-1on 1 situation to get things going. I.E. have a friend(preferably a girl) with you to help break the ice then take it from there. Or put yourself in a situation where the girl will approach you first (Like you said). Anyway it may be for the best and has worked for me many,many times. Plus it can give you a slight upper hand.

Answer 4

Sounds like an underlying fear of rejection, which is very common. Don't focus on whether they're pretty or not, or whether or not you're attracted to them. Talk to them just like they're any other human being you'd like to get to know.

Approach the situation as if you have nothing to lose, and don't focus on your attraction to them. Focus on connecting and communicating with them. And be natural.

In the end I'm sure you'll find that talking to girls you're attracted to is no different from talking to any other new person. And eventually your shyness should begin to fade.

Answer 5

Awww I think everyone gets shy talking to someone they think is attractive. I'm just like you, I can only talk to guys I find unattractive. I think you should just try to make some friends with girls that you find unattractive, and that way, you'll get to know girls better and build some friendships while at the same time learning to overcome your shyness
Good luck:)

Answer 6

I was like that. Heck, I'm STILL like that.

It's normal to feel different around someone who is the object of your affection, but to have a problem like this I think there's an underlying source. I believe it may be a bit of a lack of self-esteem. If you don't feel good about yourself, how are you going to feel that you have enough self-worth to talk to someone that you find desirable?

If you can find a method of raising your esteem, then go for it. :) Work on improving your mind-set, then hopefully you'll be able to confront these girls.

Answer 7

I am REALLLLLYY shy at school, too. I have trouble talking to cute boys as well... lol. I am pretty and nice and friendly too, but I can't do it!

I would suggest getting their attention, hanging out with the cool kids (unless they are bad influences) around your girl.
Hope I helped! U can E - mail me if u need more advice:
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Answer 8

very interesting. i have the same problem only i get nervous around any guys, whether i'm attracted to them or not. it does get frusterating, but sometimes when i'm in the wild/crazy mood i don't really care. i'm shy because i'm self conscious. i'm scared of how other people, even girls, view me. so i think you need to figure out why you are so flustered and then you can try to figure out how to get over the fear.

Answer 9

From my personal experience, I have gone through nearly the same thing. I used to be so shy around females that I liked.

What helped me was just trying to speak to them, then embarrassing myself and then getting over it and learning from it and then I found comfort in speaking to them. I guess for me it was just with experience I learned. Hope that helps!

Answer 10

all guyz are like that, i have a friend that has the same problem LOL xD hes outgoing and funny but when it comes to pretty gurl omg he gets so freaken shy and red ;D
just start a random converstion, but not a weird one cuz then they'll think your cookoo LOL you know what i mean xD