My mom and I haven't gotten along in years. My sister told her I was getting married, she called & said congrats. I told her she could attend providing she could behave w/ my step-mother there. Today she showed up @ my home w/a "centerpiece" for the head table. I had told her that I didn't want anything extra for that table and that the venue didn't allow lit candles, blah, blah, blah. She didn't hear a word! It doesn't match my theme or colors and it is poorly constructed (pieces are falling off!) My family says just to bite my tongue cuz it is her way of making peace. I think she hasn't changed a bit and this is just rude! What do I do? I don't want to use the centerpiece but if I don't it will cause another fight! Why couldn't she just listen when I told her I have everything covered?! Is she just being spiteful because I didn't include her in the planning?
2007-02-02 13:38:43 · 6 answers · asked by Debbie S 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Before people go poor her understand that I am 27 and have raised all her kids including myself and watched her use and abuse people. I have spent my life trying to make sure my sisters and myself turned out to be better people and learn from watching her mistakes. I may love her but I don't like her. Our current issue is she is "dating" a married man that has kids. She says it's ok cuz she doesn't like the wife! Hello!!! She has issues!!
2007-02-02 14:00:23 · update #1
I'm having a nightmare about your mother bringing her BF to your wedding. It's horrifying.
Don't use the centerpiece at the head table. Perhaps put it on a side table, maybe on the gift table?
2007-02-02 14:43:27 · answer #1 · answered by Poppet 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sorry you are having trouble with your mom. Sounds like she REALLY wants to be supportive and be a part of the celebration. Her baby is growing up and she wants to be there. I wouldn't be too hard on her. She may not have changed a bit, but it is just a centerpiece. Don't let it ruin your wedding day. Congrats on your wedding!
2007-02-02 21:56:28 · answer #2 · answered by M L 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
It is your wedding. The two people who are getting married should make the decisions, and everyone else is only there to help. If you really don't like it, don't use it. Your mom might be upset by that, but if you use it and hate it, it will dig up these emotions every time you look at pictures from your wedding and you see that hideous thing.
2007-02-02 21:48:36 · answer #3 · answered by cy ko tic 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is there someplace at the reception that you could put the centerpiece, not at the head table, but just so your mother could see you "appreciate" the effort that she did?
2007-02-03 00:52:05 · answer #4 · answered by daysy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey I can understand about having family issues...I say your best bet is you taken her aside someplace and having a long talk...life is too short to fight with people so close...I have no family but my mom and dad...you don't wanna lose'em honesty is the best policy...also state you two are both adults and the works...not to mention mother and daughter...you should be loving one another not at odds...emotions are best used with heart...but don't let anger or spitefulness play into it....you only have one mother and father....if she truely cares she'll listen to COMPLETE HONESTY...well hope I helped...and I hope everything goes well oh and save me some food from the wedding! lol
2007-02-02 21:50:38 · answer #5 · answered by Fredrick D 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I feel sorry for her. Sounds like no one gives a crap about her, especially you. She could be being passive-agressive or not...I don't know your mother. But, since she's family and brought you into this world and cared for you, you will never have another mother. I would appreciate her more. A bad centerpiece is so minute in the grand scheme of life.
2007-02-02 21:44:53 · answer #6 · answered by Groovy 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋