January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!
March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months....box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....
8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open.
September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???
October - Hate M &M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!
December - Couldn't call 9
2007-02-02 13:16:48 · 16 answers · asked by M 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
no offense taken
ah, spell-check is a wonderful thing!
2007-02-02 13:20:54 · answer #1 · answered by nermil 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sign! SO many blonde jokes, so little time. From a Blonde's diary: I walked into a Blimpie's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free". "They're already buy-one-get-one-free", she said, "so I guess they're both free". She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door. =================== One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of Them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said, "Where?" ==================== While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has For sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with That stuff." ==================== I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center Was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific." ==================== My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk. ==================== My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount. ==================== I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?" ==================== While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces." ==================== They walk among us, AND they reproduce!
2016-05-24 06:46:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny all the way through, but never got the December bit!! Guess I am a blond.. (NO OFFENCE MENT Blond people)
2007-02-02 13:22:13 · answer #3 · answered by blackpus88 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell these literary turds to lighten up, it's a joke. Good one at that.
2007-02-02 13:57:01 · answer #4 · answered by Debbie T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a good one, it got better as the months went past
2007-02-02 13:21:16 · answer #5 · answered by bluetinkerbell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thanx for the laugh.
2007-02-02 13:25:08 · answer #6 · answered by Cannibal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa. Umm...interesting...but there are thousands of jokes that are waaaaayyy better than that one. ^-^
2007-02-02 13:29:14 · answer #7 · answered by Bleed!ng Star 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And the question was? ps I'm blonde!
2007-02-02 13:21:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i heard that joke on here before actually
2007-02-02 13:19:57 · answer #9 · answered by *Jenny from the block* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow
2007-02-02 13:20:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋