troubled teen?

Question

i keep getting in horrible fights with my mom. today i got into one with my dad. he thinks im a **** because i have guy friends that i hang out with as well as my girl bffs.tonight we got in a huge fight and i locked myself in my room and i barricaded the door which im in now. I started climbing out the window, but i didnt make it down. My parents have been talking about sending me to boarding school. they dont understand that its my age, im 13, and im soo confused about everything.

please help me, every night i wind up in tears.

P.S. im not exactly 13 yet... im still 12 but ill be 13 in 3 months!!:)

Answer 1

I am going to put this in the perspective of YOUR PARENTS (for I am a Long Term Single Parent, who is FINALLY an Empty-Nesting Single Retiree ... and yes, I raised MY Children ALONE through these rough teen years ...)

YOUR parents Love and CARE for you -- that is WHY they set rules.

At age 13 -- they are definitely WORRYING ... so many males are out there victimizing girls your age (and younger!) and yes, it SCARES them to death that you are out with BOTH boys (maybe alone? Is that what the fights are about) ... and the girls too.

YOU are screaming at them, fighting with them, throwing tantrums (that is what you just described here!) and locking/barricading a ROOM ...

BUT ... THINK .. this is THEIR HOME .. they PAY for it (and in their LOVE for you, they are CARING for you and providing for you too) ...

and YOU are DISRESPECTING THEM and THEIR HOME ... making a mess, being violent, being a screaming (Verbally abusive) teen ... and then opening the Window to TRY to sneak out?????

YES, your PARENTS are UPSET -- it is ONLY RIGHT given that they LOVE and CARE for you.

MY SUGGESTION:

Go to your mirror .. sit in front of it, be quiet.

NOW ... go back over all the NASTY SCREAMING and everything else you are doing ...

balance it against the RULES for the HOME that YOUR Caring PARENTS are PROVIDING for you (and they ARE SUFFERING Through your Tantrums -- believe me ... I also SUFFERED Through the Abuse from my own teens during their teen years!)

AND UNBarricade the Door, open it quietly, GO QUIETLY to them BOTH ...

APOLOGIZE SINCERELY for your DISRESPECT and ugliness (through your behaviors), then ...

SHOW Them BOTH That you CARE ABOUT THEM ... and will respect the SAFETY RULES ...

SO THEY WON'T have to WORRY about finding you hurt, injured, or (hopefully not) dead!

Answer 2

I am sorry you are going thru this. I have a 13 year old daughter.
I would hate that she is in tears every night.
Rather than boarding school, why don't you ask your parents if you can all go to counseling? If you are their only or first child, they may be having trouble with you becoming a teen and all that it means. You are having trouble living with the rules/expectations they have for you. Maybe all of you talking your feelings over with a neutral counselor would help your relationship greatly.
It is hard to watch your little girl grow up because you feel you are losing control. They do love you- just remember that!
It is normal to be confused. And there is nothing wrong with having friends that are boys! Maybe if your parents let you invite them over for ice cream or popcorn and a movie along with a few of your girlfriends, they could get to know them. All the best to you! Just keep talking - calmly and respect each others' thoughts and feelings!

Answer 3

There's nothing wrong with having guy and gal friends. Perhaps your parents are just scared that you're friends will hurt you. Maybe they think you are sexually active and they are scared of you getting pregnant or an STD. Are you a wild child or do you fly straight most of the time and your parents are just super strict? If you are truly an "eagle scout" and you're not getting into trouble in school, etc. then have you tried to sit down with your parents for a serious talk? A yelling match does not count. Don't shut yourself off to them. Being 13 is soo hard to manage but it's even harder if you don't follow your parents rules. Try listening to them and speak to them like an adult and not a kid. Look them in the eye and tell them what your feeling. I bet you that if you give them an inch they'll give you a inch and a half. :-)

Answer 4

Well.. you are 13 and it's so ok to be confused.. I'm 18 and still soo confused about everything.. I think though, that instead of keeping up the fights, you should try talking. I DO know how hard it is, especially when your parents don't want to listen. But the more you yell and lock yourself in your room, the more immature your parents will see you. If you can't talk, at least pretend you are listening and go calmly to your room to 'think about what they said' (though chances are you have no idea what this is), at least, this will make their image of you better... Being 13 is hard and sucks.. I get that part. But getting into it with your parents doesn't make anything better, only worse.. If you ever need to talk, please, feel free to email or im me...

Answer 5

You seem like you have a low self-confidence. No offense.
One thing that helps is to stop caring what other people think.
What other people think is not your problem. Relax. If you know how awesome you are, no one else has to! Don't worry, they won't really send you to boarding school. You might want to work on improving your grades a little, though. Not to say that you have bad grades, but they'll be less convinced to send you to boarding school.


Judging by that, you need to work on controlling your emotions. Find some way to stay calm. It'll be much easier to talk to them if you don't run away crying.Or you could write them a note and give it to them. Ask your parents if they were friends before they got married. (I doubt it). If they weren't, then you can use that as proof that not all male friends of yours are going to be your boyfriends.

My mom is horrible. I love my dad, but my mom...I HATE her. I'm a teenager as well, but I went through phases a long time ago, so I'm a bit more mature than everyone else my age. When I went through one phase, I hated both my parents. I have tried really hard to love and get along with my mom, but in vain.
Are your parents like this? Do they have no good qualities? Do they care about you? (I'm 99% sure my Dad does and my mom doesn't.)

If you ever need a friend to talk to, you can IM me. You seem like a cool person. Remember, in 5 years, you'll be seeing less of them. Meaning you'll like them a lot more. Ever notice you like the people you rarely see more than the people you always see?

Parents do not understand what it is like to be a teenager today, agreed. Most of them didn't go through the same phases. They want what is best for you, but their nosiness and total lack of empathy and, of course, their idea that you belong to them and are inferior to them, can get annoying.

So spend time away from them. Hang out with your (girl) friends more. Your parents will approve of your female friends, and your friends will calm you down.

And to parents, calm = mature.
And mature=responsible.
And if they feel you are responsible, you can hang out with your guy friends!

A win/win situation.

Answer 6

Everyone is saying how hard it is to be a 13 year old. You say that it is "your age"....but don't try and put everything into perspective because of an age. I have a 13 1/2 yr old son, and he's a wonderful son. We have always talked about everything. He isn't afraid to come to me about anything. He realizes he is going through changes, but he talks about them...and sometimes jokes about it. We've always communicated openly. I believe that communication is very important. A kid needs to feel they can go to their parents about anything. Yelling and screaming accomplish nothing but noise and hurt feelings on both parts. Maybe, if you can talk to your parents calm and reasonable, they will give you time to state your confusions and concerns and be able to help you through this. I would also during this time let your Dad know that it really hurt your feelings that he would call you that name, when it isn't true.

Answer 7

You are not accommodating them. Older people don't understand this young people thing of being friends with the opposite sex. You need to have a talk with your parents and make them understand that this is what young people today do. It's crazy to me as well, but assuming you are not "fronting" this and not having sex with the smokescreen of friendship, I Guess it's OK, although very bizarre. Everyone is overreacting including yourself and what is needed is a mature and reasoned conversation and introduction of your friends to your parents. They just care about you, and perhaps not handling the situation well, but this is a solvable problem.

Answer 8

Overcome your Depression Without Medication

Answer 9

go to beording school and get away from ur parents for a while and when u come back in the summer talk to them then so that thell be calmed down and wont freak

Answer 10

Been there done that. Parents want to force kids to do things in which they see fit. Explain to them you aren't that way. Introduce all your friends in a respectable manner. If push comes to shove and they send you to boarding school,at least you can say you can survive without them,and it can make you a better person if you are open to it.