I got along fine with my husband's family until an argument broke out btwn me and his sister. His parents and her fiance sided with her bc she's a spoiled brat. She ALWAYS behaved above me and I sucked up to her (WHY? Insecure?). After a few months of arguments, mother in law apologized and we talk. Husband talks to father in law, I don't. Neither of us talk to sister in law. It will cost 5k to go to her wedding, we'll have to take our vacation time for this, have major jet lag and we stopped enjoying their company. I would go for the sake of his parents and so he wouldn't regret anything down the road but 5K for a totally unenjoyable experience? She wouldn't do the same for me, 100%. If it was just a car ride I would go w/o hesitation but overseas...what should I do?
2007-02-02 12:23:39 · 12 answers · asked by can'tstopthinkingaboutthis 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If you can afford it, then I'd do it for the sake of family peace. I have an evil sis in law as well, and try to avoid spending much time with her, and pretty much succeed outside of obligatory family gatherings. I do get along just fine with the rest of my in laws though. Take a good hard look at the finances here, and make sure you factor in what the entire trip will cost, time off from work, airfare, hotel, FOOD (more expensive probably), a gift, clothes, rental car or other transportation, etc. Talk with your hubby about this one too, and get his take on it. Maybe he can just go--explain there wasn't enough money for both of you guys to go--and since it's HIS sister, you guys felt he should at least be there. See what he wants to do, that's what I usually do when I have these types of decisions to make regarding my in laws. If my hubby wants to do it, then I'll suck it up and do it--mainly for my husband. If he's ambivalent or doesn't think we should do it, then that's what we do. You could also both go, and spend as little time with the family as possible, and make it a nice vacation....I don't know. I hope you and your hubby are at peace with whatever you both decide. Good luck!
2007-02-02 14:08:43 · answer #1 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No matter what has happend in the past - Think what you could do with that 5K?? If you are asking then you know the answer is no. And just because you go does not mean things will get better - it will probably be like this for the rest of your relationship!! What does you husband want to do? If he is not for it - don't go!!
2007-02-02 13:40:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too had a spawn of satan sister-in-law, and we got into it one night big time, and never really spoke again, other than pleasantries to please our husbands. If I were in your shoes, she could rot in hell before I'd go waste money at a wedding I'd be miserable at and she could care less if I attended.
However, I'm sure she wants her brother there, so talk it over with him and get his opinon on it first before deciding. If he agrees with you, I totally agree with all the other responses to avoid it altogether, save your $ and peace of mind. If he thinks y'all should attend, maybe he could go alone, saving both your peace of mind and half of the expense.
Being way overseas anyway, who would possibly expect someone to attend their wedding unless they were filthy rich without a care in the world? Shame on her for expecting such in the the first place. If most of her family is here, she could have just as easily had the wedding here so his family could easily attend.
I agree with an earlier answer to take into account EVERYTHING that you'd be paying for - food, lodging, etc. It may add up to more than just the $5k you're expecting.
If you think it will cause problems down the road by not attending, I also agree to blame it on work or prior commitments. Depending on what job you have, say you're in the middle of training new personnel, a new product is hitting the market you're in charge of, or something that you absolutely can't get out of - or even your husband for that matter. She may not lord it over you forever if the turn down is because of her brother?
Sorry that you have to put up with one of the witches of the universe. Believe me, I totally know what you're going through and feel for you! Why, Oh why, can't all the witches have each other for sister-in-laws/mother-in-laws and let the rest of us have the normal folk???? ;)
Best of luck with your decision!
2007-02-02 15:20:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should send out the invitations 6 to 8 weeks before the RSVP date Yes you should have a respond date Most books say 2 weeks, give yourself at least 3 week People wait until the last few days to send back the invite Giving yourself a week for late responses is smart, still gives you two weeks to make calls and get a final counts
2016-03-29 02:12:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are suffering and haven't even got the invite yet.
I wouldn't go if I were you, just send a nice present and apology.
Life is way to short to look that good by attending a wedding you're bound to be miserable at. Send your husband alone.
2007-02-02 12:50:03 · answer #5 · answered by Roma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dislike weddings in general, even more than I dislike funerals. (The number of pictures being taken was the tie-breaker there.) So, with that being said, you might want to take the following advice with that in mind.
I avoid as many weddings as I can. I usually send money, the amount based on how much I like that person. Usually $20, but more depending on how close I am to the person (although, if they are too close you have to go). Most people just invite you for the gift anyway.
2007-02-02 12:58:21 · answer #6 · answered by cy ko tic 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
if it's ok with your husband, just don't go. it doesn't sound like she's worth it. i feel the same toward my sister in law and at her wedding she never talked to any of us from his side of the family.(she married my husband's brother) she claimed she didn't have time to get to everyone but the truth is she stayed totally with her family. what a waste of a day and money on a gift. stay home if that's what makes you and your hubby happy.
2007-02-02 12:30:25 · answer #7 · answered by inluvwithb 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would try to be the bigger person. Go, and try to smooth things over, you have to deal with these people for the rest of your life, our time on earth is way too short to be preoccupied and stressed out because of the people around you. Worst case scenario, you go, shes amazed and thinks your the bigger person, you have an awe-full time at the wedding, but you get drunk, sneak away, and party in a foreign country!!!! have fun regardless of the sister....If she can't get over it, at least you tried...
2007-02-02 13:01:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have the money and you can't get the time off from work. There you go, I just gave you two good reasons why you can't attend the wedding. I definitely would not go.
2007-02-02 12:45:39 · answer #9 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only go if you can afford it. Since it's overseas and quite expensive to attend, I don't think I'd go. Your husband might go alone if he thinks he needs to be there.
On the other hand, if money and time isn't a problem- go.
2007-02-02 12:27:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋