How to change my family....?

Question

i live with my mom, dad, and 23 year old brother.....im 16...and my family is so messed up. and dont tell me every family has it differences because i know, but my family is worse.......trust me. my mom is ok but she is OCD for cleanliness. but my brother is ADD and ADHD and doesnt do anything, ANYTIME, and complains about everything. and i mean everything and he eggs people on and i tell him to stop arguing, like now hes yelling right now. He's negative all the time and in a bad mood. and my dad is the same but when I complain about one thing at all he's all over me about complaining. And i stopped talking to both of them for a week and the ONE thing i say, the ONE thing i say all week i get yelled at. and my dad and brother used to fight, like literally punch fight when i was little. and ever since then, listening to them, ive stopped being myself around them, ive shut down, except my mom and friends. help plz im almost at the end of my rope. im serious.........i cant take it anymore

Answer 1

When your brother eggs you on, don't give him what he wants by responding. Say nothing at all, no matter how hard it is, and walk away. Your Dad probably feels like he's got all he can handle with your brother and your mother's OCD, so when you complain too, it's more than he can handle. But, I'll bet subconsciously, he thinks that you can "handle" things, and that you are probably the only one in the household that can. Do you ever get a chance to talk to your Dad alone and express your concerns? Are you able to talk to your Mom about this? Don't shut yourself down, confront them, even if it is by writing them a letter..or printing this out and giving it to them. By shutting down, you are actually bottling up a lot of emotions, that sooner or later need to be dealt with. Even if they don't respond the way that you might want them to, they will still think about what you have said...and you will feel a whole lot better getting it off of your mind. You deserve to be loved and respected just like everyone else, and you can't convey that to them by shutting down. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 2

I was going through almost the same thing with my family a few years ago when I was around 14 and 15. Those were the worst times of my life, family wise. Alot of crap happened between us and I thought It would be like that always and I was embarrased to even mention my family to my friends, everyone seemed to have it better than me. I can honestly say things changed with time. They are definitely not picture perfect now, but one thing you NEED to do is rebuild communication. Seriously. If you dont have that, you wont get anywhere. It might be hard at first to open up, but give it time and effort. Its strange how much I thought like you back then...sorry to sound like Dr.Phil :)

Answer 3

I am sorry to tell you this,but you cannot change anyone but yourself. Alot of us have messed up families and we just have to deal with it until we are old enough and leave and not take it with you. Make sure your future family is not like this as it is so easy to repeat how we were raised.
Good luck to you.

Answer 4

If you can prove that you are being abused in any way...emotional, physical, and such, get a job and go to the courts and get emancipated. It's like divorcing your family...but I say this only if you are in danger, and you must be responsible enough to take care of yourself, pay your own bills and finish school.

Answer 5

You can't change other people. They can only change themselves. Try to take their bad examples as something positive for yourself in that you won't do like them. You can only change yourself. Study hard in school get good grades and assure your way into college. A good education will help get your ticket out of that situation.

Answer 6

you cant change ANYONE but yourself!