My boyfriend and I have been together almost 16 months and I love him deeply, he has 2 very bright little boys in whom I love and cherish. Their mother is a terrible person she abonded, abused and wants nothing to do with these kids and so I treat them as my own. We've lived together almost a year and have bought our own place together. We talk about the future such as marriage and children and we want to, but he keeps saying he's not ready. I really really want him to ask me. I am 19 years of age and he 27.
2007-02-02 11:36:04 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Follow your heart!!! To each it's own. I got married @ 19 and I don't regret it one bit.......11 years going strong :) But if he's not ready don't push the issue just be patient and let him come around. If he doesn't well then you must make a decision to move on because I see you value marriage :) Good luck.
2007-02-02 11:47:07 · answer #1 · answered by Cookie48 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is completely up to you. People on yahoo don't know you well enough to help you make such an important descision.
Just keep in mind that he has children, and once you become their mother, they'll stop treating you like a friend sooner or later and it won't be easy. Make sure you're ready to be a mother and a wife all at the same time.
Good luck!
2007-02-02 20:00:49 · answer #2 · answered by JJ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
19 is a very young age to get married, and settle down! There is a lot to experience at that age, and for years to come! I always believed I was mature and had everything together when I was 19, several years later I look back and laugh! I am a completely different person today than I was then. Take the time to find out who you are before you start a lifelong committment with someone! Love yourself and experience yourself before loving someone else and experiencing them!!!! Good Luck!
2007-02-02 19:44:10 · answer #3 · answered by sparky88 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think (personally), your too! young to get married now. You've only been together a short time. Get to know each other more before you start planning for a wedding, spend as much time learning new things about each other. Once you get married there's so much to learn about each other then as well. So don't rush into married yet!
I really admire you for treating your partners children as your own. Get them to know you more & your partner more-have fun, go to picnics, do all different things.. Enjoy life while your young-save up for your future.
Myself i've never been married (now 40), & I love life to the fullest.
At the end of the day the decision is up to the both of you's. All the best for whatever decision you guys make.
2007-02-02 19:53:52 · answer #4 · answered by Helga 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He isnt ready because he had such a roungh time with the last person he likely thought he would spend his life with, and hes probably afraid. He definately seems committed to you, if you have bought a house together. 16 months together really isnt long, especially after the trauma hes been thourgh, please just be understanding and love him as you do, let him love you back, and it will happen.
2007-02-02 19:44:01 · answer #5 · answered by LuLuBelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are going through my fiance is older than my by five years and he has kids. But if you feel you are ready then you are. But you have to understand where he is coming from as well. If you talked about it, it will happen give it. He has to be ready, you don't want to force him into a situation cause it will probably end up being a bad situation. Just take your time and ease into marriage.
2007-02-02 19:56:25 · answer #6 · answered by KY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should get married...but not to this guy...at least not right now. He's saying he's not ready. So why are you asking if you should get married? It sounds like that's not even an option for you. I think you were very nieve to get a place together and play mother to his children without getting the benefits of a committed relationship.
2007-02-02 19:43:33 · answer #7 · answered by Jen H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now you don't have a choice to get married, it seems. If the relationship is meant to be, he will eventually ask you. You have to be patient and give him the time that he needs. Especially with his past and two boys to take care of, he is going to be careful about who is in his life. Be happy with what you have now, the marriage part is not as important as the actual relationship you have. Cherish it for what it is.
2007-02-02 19:41:56 · answer #8 · answered by Kaitelia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the old saying about leading horses to water. You must leave this guy in no doubt that you want to be married if that is truely what you want. Find out more details of why he feels he's not ready yet, goodness your lives together are all but married now.
2007-02-02 19:40:46 · answer #9 · answered by smilingtalker_au 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the heck out of there!
Whaddaya mean you bought a place together!?!? Are you nuts?
Don't you have ANYBODY to give you grown up advice on this stuff?
You're in for a pile of financial and personal grief if you hang around with this guy. Get the heck out - find a SINGLE guy with NO kids and start your own family!
2007-02-02 19:44:37 · answer #10 · answered by gabluesmanxlt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋