After 6 years my boyfriend who has bi-polar cheated on me. He was seeing this girl for 3 weeks, but, during this time he was in a manic state. He is now in the hospital and he wants me back. Is having bi-polar a reason to cheat? I already took him back once before for the same circumstances.
2007-02-02 10:51:56 · 18 answers · asked by tredaze 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Actually, yes, bi-polar to some people can be the cause. People in their manic phase often do regrettable things, including cheating. My question is, if he knows hes bi-polar, why wasnt he on his meds?
If you are going to be commited to someone with this type of disorder, you need to be sure hes responsible enough to understand his condition and take care of himself. He should never miss his medication, never miss an appointment with his therapist.
If he is the type to keep it under control, he has no excuse to cheat. And if he doesnt make the effort to control it, you are taking a big risk by being with him.
Take everything into consideration before making your decision, and good luck!
2007-02-02 11:32:02 · answer #1 · answered by independent101 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Heres an answer from a bipolar. People like Peach don't have any idea about bipolar. It should NEVER be used as an excuse for any poor behavior, however, it can be a reason.
When a bipolar has a manic episode, hypersexualaly can be one of the horrible side effects. Some worst then others. I am single so I only hurt myself. Mania makes me VERY confident, and very hypersexual. I walk up to strangers, I talk on phone lines and more. When I'm not manic, people would never consider me to be someone to do those things. I can't believe I do. I have gotten onto a bus and whiepered into a guys ear that "I want to kiss him" and ended up making out with him. Gave him my phone number for him to call me for it to go further, but by the time he called I was no longer manic, and was panicked that he called me.Mania makes you very impulsive in all areas of your life. However, I am the one in control of learning to not act on those impulses. Just like an alcholic is responsible to stop taking the drink. ( The drink is harder, I'm sure)Your BF has got to take his meds and be on the correct ones, to get well. If he isnt going to do that, you can not be in this relationship, he will not stop. Make him responsible for stopping acting on his impulses.
2007-02-02 12:46:50 · answer #2 · answered by Teresa t 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am bi-polar, and have been - "not in my right mind", but that is no reason to cheat. The closest I've gotten is a kiss, a simple kiss. A three week cheating event is not a simple mistake. You've said he's done this before... does this mean he's also lying to you to? Because wouldn't he have to?
I would think with your head, and weigh the options of staying in the relationship. It sounds like it is unhealthy, but only you can determine that.
If you decide to take him back, I suggest counseling, because it would help.
2007-02-02 11:09:28 · answer #3 · answered by joulesofaffection 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Independent101 is your best answer so far. When a person has Bipolar, it isn't a simple matter of being "up' or "down" The illness has horrible effects on one's ability to think and reason and make good choices.
That doesn't excuse the behavior, it just explains it. A Bipolar person may be able to explain their acts because of the illness, but they really can't justify those acts.
I have been seriously afflicted with bipolar illness most of my life and would like to undo hundreds of things I've done wrong. I can't and I am living with the consequences of the choices I made.
Your choice is whether or not you want to still be with your bf. You know the facts. It's your choice as to what you do next. my best wishes for both of you.
2007-02-02 14:30:44 · answer #4 · answered by doug k 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know i'm going to get a bunch of thumbs-down for this, but........
i have bi-polar and i cheated on my husband. morally, i knew it was wrong. i was in a manic state for a few months, drinking too much, flirting too much, having too much fun.... I KNOW bi-polar is not an excuse or a reason, but i believe it can be an EXPLANATION, as to why we do what we do. If you think you can forgive your BF, that's great. a 6 yr relationship is quite an investment of time. manic behavior needs to get under control...... your BF in the hospital is a good thing, IMO. but if he keeps doing it, and doesnt take his bi-polar (and treatment) seriously, you may want to get rid of him. Good luck to you.
2007-02-02 11:04:34 · answer #5 · answered by jmprince01 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
When you're bi-polar and you get in that manic state of mind you aren't thinking clearly. If you were thinking clearly then you would not have bi-polar disorder.
I would consider giving him another chance, but I would make it clear that you don't trust him and he's going to have to regain your trust. And, be careful of cheating in the future, don't let him continue to do it and use being bi-polar as an excuse. If you let him "get away with it" this time he may think he can do it again.
2007-02-02 11:00:03 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It may have something to do with it. Mania can cause hypersexuality, increased sociability and poor judgment. It's hard to say. Some people are just cheaters. If he only has sexual encounters with other people when he's manic and doesn't when he's depressed or in a normal state then it's probably due to the mania. It's not uncommon for people in severe manic states to do things that they wouldn't dream of doing in a normal state of mind.
2007-02-02 17:42:20 · answer #7 · answered by DawnDavenport 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hear you - nad i'mso sorry. iknow how hard it is to deal lwith the starange changes that someone with bipolar goes through - especially while in a nmanic state. i guess it's really a matter of chouice...not sure on his situation, or how much you have invested...cheating kills you when you find out you're the victim...i guess it's important to remember that he really wasn't himself when he did that - he was ill...but i'mnot sure why he had the episode...did he not take his meds...had he not been diagnosis or was it circumstances that triggered the episode...if he's not compliant with meds than it may happen again - infact putting you at risk for stds...if it is likely to be controlled by medication - and you love him and have been seeing him for 6 years, maybe it'[s worth trying to figure out - perhaps the doctor at the hospital has a suggestion on a couples counsellor you can see together that has experiencdealing with this situation - unfortunately not uncommon among bipolars who don't take meds! goodluck
2007-02-02 11:06:04 · answer #8 · answered by Gugie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your ex-female pal desires help! Her first mistake isn't taking her drugs. i understand that's hard to have confidence her good now, i does no longer have confidence something she says together as she's off her drugs. tell her to get lower back on her drugs for her bipolar sickness, don't get below the impression of alcohol anymore, and do stuff in the long-term remorseful approximately..See if she'll communicate with a doctor (pychiatist) a week and proceed to take her drugs. If that would not artwork admit her take her to Philhaven in Mt. Gretna, they're going to shield her, supply her the scientific interest she desires, scientific care and counseling.
2016-11-24 19:58:38 · answer #9 · answered by madill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no reason for cheating because morally even if you're a maniac you should have the decency to not cheat on whoever you're with, this gesture is affiliated to anyone with any type of personality. If the man cheats, then you should not be with him at all. You'll just end up hurting yourself
2007-02-02 10:56:50 · answer #10 · answered by devan d 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋