I want to move in with my boyfriend of 4years.....but he still refuses
2007-02-02 10:47:57 · 10 answers · asked by crazy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It seems he has a commitment problem, and to be honest I believe living together puts a strain on the relationship, you find out things about each other you may not know just yet. He may be scared of this. He may cherish your relationship so much that he's scared of moving in with you.
BUT you don't say how old he is, maybe he feels he needs to liv life a bit more before moving in, to most men moving in is settling down forever. And forever is a long time, not saying he doesn't want to be with you but relationships have a stronger meaning when people live together.
I must say though, why should it be over if he wont ove in with you? If you still have a great relationship then why should it be over? Unless there is a fault in your relationship I see no problem with this. Maybe you feel your relationship should be taken to another level to show commitment and as a sign you are together, but I tell you, you do not need it. Maybe you just need to talk about it all? You need to talk, that's what people forget.
However, if you need to break it off with him I suggest you tell him your true feelings and discuss it maturely to judge where you are in the relationship forget all the 5 year plans etc. life is much better when not planned, let it take you by surprise! You can't PLAN love, it doesn't work that way. He has to feel the same.
But I think you do need to ask yourself whether you are willing to wait, do you love him enough to wait? Maybe ask him how long he wants to wait till moving in and see if it's reasonable to you.
You should realise there is a difference between loving someone and being IN LOVE with someone. I love my family, that will always be there no matter what. But my b.f, I love him and I'm in love with him, I can stop being in love with him and just love him like I do friends/family. You need to decide how you feel.
I wouldn't break up with someone I'm in love with because chances are, a week or two later, I'd crave to be with him. This is just me though. You live you life and YOU need to decide.
I would say weigh up the pros and cons of your relationship, it will help you to clear your mind. Please think before you dump him, you love this guy and anyone you love (if they treat you well) deserves respect. If you decide to break up, then I would say try avoiding it being a result of a bitter argument.
For some reason I get the feeling you shouldn't beak up with him, but again please do what's best for you. I hope you discover a way to do what's best for you. Pease don't take any of this patronising (it seems that way when I read it back) but I say this in sincerity, from experiences and people around me.
PinkMyst - Wishing you the best with your problem!
2007-02-02 11:12:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he refuses then i think he just is nervous and also tell him you need a break......but don't worry he will be the one packing your boxes to live with him. If he thinks that you will break up with him just because he won't let you move in then he will realize that it means a lot and will settle something out.
2007-02-02 18:54:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him! he doesn't want you. Unless of course he is holding out for marriage first, in which case, get married and move in then.
2007-02-02 18:51:57 · answer #3 · answered by I_Love_Life! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you truly loved him you would wait as long as he wanted for him to be ready to move in with you. talk to him about how you feel first and see if you can work it out.
2007-02-02 18:53:31 · answer #4 · answered by coolio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have someone go up to him and say the following : the good news is i saved bunch of money on car insurance by switching to geico. the bad news is *your name* just wasnts to be friends.
2007-02-02 18:51:43 · answer #5 · answered by helen. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont beat around the bush ...you just are straighforward with them...someone youve been with for four years deserves the truth straight up
2007-02-02 18:51:48 · answer #6 · answered by LeiMe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he still refuses, he will refuse always...
2007-02-02 18:51:54 · answer #7 · answered by vandom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck.
2007-02-02 18:52:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont break up simple as that unless he is cheatingon you then make it harsh!!
2007-02-02 18:51:41 · answer #9 · answered by Vikki[Rawhr] 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is y ur going to end it with him? if u love him then why would u end it wit him?
2007-02-02 18:52:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋