I have a friend who is 15 and has never had a boyfriend. i think she is pretty and dateable, but i am convinced if she hasnt been with anybody yet there must be something wrong with her. i tease her somethimes and she says if i had her circumstances i wouldnt have had a boyfriend either. what do you guys think?
2007-02-02 10:31:54 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
she never said she was raped or anything and i dont believe she was. she's a really outgoing person, comfortable around boys. she says in hers schools there werent many options and she doesnt have the opportunity to get out much.
2007-02-02 10:38:49 · update #1
Given she seems patient with you about it, my bet is she's pretty sure she's gay yet doesn't want to discuss that. Leave it be.
Other possibilities for her reply and patience include a mother who is very protective yet she loves her and wishes to not have confrontations. Not every teen in the world horribly resents parents holding them back. Or perhaps she has a cultural holdback you don't think of. To your credit I'd say, but for her it could be much more important. She might even think God talked to her and told her to stay virginal and not know men in any way for he'd chosen her to have a baby... Well, that last one you might want to do an intervention for.
If she isn't really all that cool and patient about it, if I just got the wrong impression here, then my bet is rape at an early age, but old enough for her to have dealt with the outer peels of the onion (you know, like at 10, not like at 5). But she isn't anywhere near to dealing with the thought of men being desirable, or the thought of being alone with one. Actually, she might have gritted her teeth and been patient, but... Leave it alone, though think of what you could say if she ever broaches the subject with you. That way, she might let the dam burst where if you are "um... a... um..." she might pull back and not move forward.
Otherwise, she could just not feel as excited as you at the thought of boys liking her, her liking boys, being with a boy... Everyone sexes up at a different rate and everyone ends up with a different range of moods and levels. I'm guessing you sexed up fairly early (feeling it, not necessarily whoring around at 11!!) and that your range of desire and level of desire will always be higher than hers, or than, say, 90% of the girls around you. Make allowance for variability!
And finally, she could like older men. Not that she is doing anything about it! But she feels little or no attraction to the boys in school, or boys at all, just men. So she doesn't date. Can't be with the ones she likes, most of whom wouldn't be with her even if they knew, not yet. So she waits on dating until she is of age. So what? Leave it be. Lol, if so, some college professor or policeman, or fireman is going to be a lucky boy someday!
So, mostly, leave it be. Maybe a l-i-t-t-l-e kidding now and then, but give her a break here. And think through things for if she turns out to have been raped. So you're ready if she needs you.
Added:
That bit of extra information pushes me to the idea she likes men, not boys, but wouldn't want to be dating a man who would date her while underage. (Like the old Groucho Marx joke about not wanting to be in a country club that would have HIM as a member.) So she's just waiting and one day will be old enough to date the men who interest her. (Lol, you know, like men who are 24, not necessarily 74!)
2007-02-02 10:51:45 · answer #1 · answered by roynburton 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're teasing your 15 year old friend about not ever having dated anyone, then you're not much of a friend. Leave her alone and concentrate on being a good friend. Who knows what her circumstances are? Maybe her parents won't let her date. Maybe she's not interested in dating yet. Maybe she's a lesbian. Maybe she's had a traumatic event happen to her in the past.
At the age of fifteen, your friend is hardly an old maid. You guys are still in high school. You should have fun doing girl things and not concentrate so much on dating. Your friend might enjoy just being free right now. She's got her whole life to date.
2007-02-02 10:40:12 · answer #2 · answered by K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm that girl you are talking about, I have the same situation. She could be gay or she could have had past experiences that have turned her away from dating. Or she could have over protective parents. Or she simply could be uninterested. Leave the poor girl alone, telling her she's weird isnt helping her and you might lose her as a friend...if I was her I'd ****** you out for telling me "something is wrong with me for not dating".
():-D
shadow
2007-02-02 10:36:58 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. T, formerly known as Shadow. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just cuz she has never had a bf at the age of 15 does not mean something is wrong wit her.....I was 16 when i first started to date and there is and was nothing wrong wit me.
2007-02-02 10:42:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
15 is pretty young. there are tooonsss of teenagers out there that haven't dated just because they haven't found someone they wanted to date or other basic reasons. it doesn't mean anything's wrong with her!
2007-02-02 10:36:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
getting a date in high school is hard but she will find someone in the future hopefully
2007-02-02 10:36:16 · answer #6 · answered by confused emo gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you sound mean to your friend, and if I was her and you kept being rude, you would be losing a friend.
2007-02-02 10:36:09 · answer #7 · answered by F.J. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think she is not comfortable dating yet try a group date first maybe that will be easier for her.... :D
2007-02-02 10:35:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
who knows. i wouldn't press it. if i had been raped or something I wouldn't want someone bugging me about it
2007-02-02 10:35:23 · answer #9 · answered by ShaLaLaLaLaLaMyOhMy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋