I have been in a long distance relationship with a man for 3 years. We get along great and have so much fun. He tells me he loves me and has introduced me to his children and we spend Holidays together. However, we only see each other for 3 or 4 days a month when we visit each other and neither will ever relocate. I found out through the grapevine that he has been cheating on me with another woman who lives in a different state from him and he has flown her out to see him twice and they are talking on the phone daily. Apparently they intend to keep seeing each other but he has not mentioned it to me. I think he is trying to figure out if he loves me enough to commit and is with this woman while he searches his feelings and will eventually dump her and return exclusively to me since we have a history. I really love him. Am I a fool? Would this be something normal for a man to do while deciding whether to go forward with a real commitment? Could he really love me?
2007-02-02 10:27:53 · 6 answers · asked by LDR02 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The reason we have not relocated to be together is because we both have careers that make it impossible to relocate. However, he is definitely cheating I have a reliable source. My concern is the daily contact with the other woman. I really don't want to lose him.
2007-02-02 10:57:53 · update #1
He has been in contact with her for four months, he also brought her to the same places we frequent and didn't try to cover it up.
2007-02-02 11:01:21 · update #2
Either you or her are a piece on the side. As long as he is getting away with it, he will continue to do it.
Ask to meet her, and see if you all get a long. Learn to share, you may like it.
The alternative is dump him and move on.
2007-02-02 10:32:01 · answer #1 · answered by Jay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK...I'm at a loss here...how can you say you love each other so much? Just from what you've said, it looks like a completely casual relationship to me. If you really loved each other and wanted to make a commitment to each other, then at least one of you would have relocated by now to be closer...3 years is a long time to be wishy-washy.
Since neither of you can even make a commitment to move closer so you can see each other more than 3 or 4 days a month. How do you expect him to even think you want anything more? How can you think he wants something more? Have either of you made any sort of promises or commitments to each other at all? If not, based on your casual relationship, he's not cheating on you. There can be no cheating if there is not a serious commitment. He may have some feelings for you, but if all you are is a 3 or 4 day a month booty call, and he has another woman (or women) to provide some more attention on the other days of the month then what's the incentive for him to 'return exclusively' to you?
2007-02-02 18:37:53 · answer #2 · answered by VodkaTonic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you expect from this relationship?? Neither of you are going to relocate to be with each other...... That could be a problem. You've got a Holiday Honey here, and it will continue until one of you becomes dissatisfied or tired of the relationship and decides to end it. Realize also that you are free to date others in his absence. He sure thinks it's OK. You're sitting in one spot.... waiting for something to happen.... that most likely never will. Move around..... circulate.... don't wait for him. You can continue to see him if you want........just don't expect much more than what it is already.
2007-02-02 18:37:46 · answer #3 · answered by dathinman8 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not dumb if u know that he is cheating on u. But if u were to go forward to real commitment, do u think he would commit the same as u would? think about it. this woman and this man u luv could break ur heart if he decides to go with the woman instead of u. but if he really luved u, would he be cheating on u? maybe he's trying out different personalities and wants to test which girl he prefers that matches up with his personality. i hope u understand and appreciate what life has brought upon u as u try different men and find the one u truly love.
2007-02-02 18:35:51 · answer #4 · answered by Axback_Cutie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok ur first mistake was havin a long distance relationship i mean if u really love him like that why dont u move to the same town hes in or move wit him and if someone has told u that he is cheatin on u ask him if u feel that way about him and why the hell wont neither of yall relocate
2007-02-02 18:43:37 · answer #5 · answered by L.A. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I wouldn't come to any conclusions yet. Because what needs to happen is to ask before pointing any fingers. Now if he doesn't want to answer or avoids it, its probably because he is, which is sad to hear. Now, if he explains that he hasn't and asks who told you, try not to give names, one because it will affect a friendship with someone else, and also if he is actually cheating he will try not to cheat on you if he knows that persons around. Now if he is continually seen with or heard with her then he's probably doing something. Hopefully he isn't doing anything but if he is then he apparently doesn't see how lucky he is to have you. Personally I have a hard time getting with woman but when I'm with one, they find out how nice and amazing one is until something wrong happens. If it doesn't work out, Just live your life, because life's to short to show anyone else how good you are. Hope this helps.
2007-02-02 18:42:01 · answer #6 · answered by Viper 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋