I think my friend's anorexic??

Question

Ok, my best friend calls herself fat and never eats anything at school.....I've talked to her about it and she says she's not but she says her family talks about her weight and it makes her self-concious.....she also barely eats anything if she spends the night at my house.....she feels like she needs to exercise more but she's like the skinniest person i know! what can i do?

BTW she's 5'1 and weighs about 95-100

She seems depressed alot but won't tell me why.....i think her parents fight....but im not sure

Answer 1

Here are steps to take:
1. Make a plan to approach her in a private place when there is no immediate stress and there is time to talk with her.
2. Present in a caring but straightforward way what you have observed and what your concerns are. (even if you have done this before do it again and again.
3. Tell her that you are worried and want to help. (Friends who are too angry with the person to talk supportively should not be a part of this discussion.)
4. Give her time to talk and encourage them to verbalize feelings. Ask clarifying questions (i.e. "do you understand were I'm coming from"). Listen carefully; accept what is said in a non-judgmental manner.
5. Do not argue about whether there is or is not a problem--power struggles are not helpful. Perhaps you can say, "I hear what you are saying and I hope you are right that this is not a problem. But I am still very worried about what I have seen and heard, and that is not going to go away."
6. Provide information about resources for eating disorders treatment. Offer to go with the person and wait while they have their first appointment with a counselor, physician, or nutritionist. Ask them to consider going for one appointment before they make a decision about ongoing treatment for the eating disorder.
7. If you are concerned that the eating disorder is severe or life-threatening, enlist the help of a doctor, therapist, counseling center, relative, friend, or roommate of the person before you intervene. Present a united and supportive front with others.
8. If the person denies the problem, becomes angry, or refuses treatment, understand that this is often part of the illness. Besides, they have a right to refuse treatment (unless their life is in danger). You may feel helpless, angry, and frustrated with them. You might say, "I know you can refuse to go for help, but that will not stop me from worrying about you or caring about you. I may bring this up again to you later, and maybe we can talk more about it then." Follow through on that---and on any other promise you make.
8. Do not try to be a hero or a rescuer; you will probably be resented. If you do the best you can to help on several occasions and the person does not accept it, stop. Remind yourself you have done all it is reasonable to do. Eating disorders are stubborn problems, and treatment is most effective when the person is truly ready for it. You may have planted a seed that helps them get ready.
9. Eating disorders are usually not emergency situations. But, if the person is suicidal or otherwise in serious danger, GET PROFESSIONAL HELP IMMEDIATELY.
This is a lot to handle for just one person. Just remember in order to be helped people have to want it first, if your friend is not willing to admit that there is a problem, then she is not ready for anyones help. I think you must have a big heart to worry about your friend so much, and honestly you need to just be there for your friend and let her know that you think she is worth more then anything to you. Just be there, she will come around and when she is ready.

Answer 2

I don't thing so. Anorexic people are overly concerned about their weight and see themselves as heavier than they really are. Gastritis is inflammation in the digestive system which could be making it painful to digest which might be causing her not to want to eat as much. I think your friend is very concerned about being healthy and fit which is great but I don't think that she is anorexic. Her ignoring and getting angry at people who accuse her of being anorexic shows that she doesn't think it is o.k. to be anorexic. Also, if she were anorexic, her doctor would probably suspect and find out if she was, especially if she goes to a digestive system type of doctor.

Answer 3

As others have said, encouraging her to eat is not going to help at all.

One famious old saying about eating dissorders is this:

" It's not about food "

A place to start is to see if she feels she has a problem.....or if she will tell you that everything is....just fine.

Because how SHE sees her situation will determine what your next move is.

If she keeps telling you that there is no problem....( when their obviously is) then you may have to seek outside assistance. If you are at school there is likely a school counsellor who you can talk to, and see what she would suggest you do.

While she may have an ED.....it's pretty clear that she has other problems as well. Just the depression you noticed is reason enough for her to feel OK about talking to counsellor, of someone like that....know what I mean ?

Good luck : she is fortunate to have a caring friend like yourself.

Bob J.

Answer 4

Oh, this is really bad. Anorexia is an eating disorder which a girl starves herself. She constantly worries about her weight and her looks. Some symptoms of Anorexia Nervosa is when you are constantly thinking about food, your weight, and your body. You starve yourself and constantly fear gaining weight. You don't want to eat except for tiny portions. And you say you're not hungry when you really are or excercising too much. You could call ANAD (National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders) Toll free at [phone] open from 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM CST. I also reccommend this inspiring book called Perfect, written by Natasha Friend. It is about a girl who cares about her weight and looks and she isn't anorexic, but she throws up. Another eating disorder called bulimia. But it also talks about anorexia so it is a really good book to read.

Answer 5

Be supportive by telling her that she's beautiful. Most cases of anorexia stem from emotional issues including insecurity. Be a good friend, tell her that she is perfect and beautiful and don't talk down to her like you think she has a problem. That will only make it worse. Also, I would alert a school nurse or counselor because if she is anorexic, that could lead to serious medical problems.

Answer 6

Go right at her. Tell her you know she has a problem, her parents and family knows she has a problem, and she knows herself she has a problem, so what are all of you going to do? Get her help, or let her die while you argue with her? Call for help. One of the best is Shades of Hope in Buffalo Gap Texas.
Good Luck.

Answer 7

Compliment the things you like about her, treat her as if she doesn't have the illness (been there myself) and her purpose in life (i.e. her accomplishments, how she helps others and cares about you and other friends, etc.) One thing anorexics are going to pull away from is talking about the sickness. Don't mention to her about her weight loss; she won't want to hear it or talk about it. She'll think everyone is trying to control her, when her weight is the only thing she feels she has control over, until it controls her.
It'll just make her feel she has to try harder to keep the illness.
Believe me, weight-gain is one of the scariest things one has to face when having lost so much.

Answer 8

You should get her help. Anorexia is a mental disorder where people are concerned with their appearance. You should have her talk about it with her parents or a psychologist. She could get malnourished, and that could weaken her immune system, which could make her more prone to sickness and disease. This is not something to joke about. Also, give her a boost. Something from her friend might cheer her up. Say, "Hey! Wanna Go To The Movies?". If she says yes, give her a couple pieces of low-fat popcorn. (Bring it with you.) If she likes it give her a few more. Do this with different foods and she may reconnect with them. Good luck helping her!!!

Answer 9

Well that does sound like anorexia, but anorexia is just the symptom, her true problem is mental. She's not crazy, but the only way she can be helped is professionally. Try talking to her and try and get her to understand, good luck!

Answer 10

Be a good friend and talk to her seriously about her diet and weight. Tell her what you think. Anorexia can cause heart failure even in young people. She needs help. You could be saving her life.