My 12 year-old cousin has been visiting and lately she has been very disrespectfully toward my siblings and my mother. Recentally she has been mumbling under her breath after we finish speaking to her. Today I believe that she mumbled a curse word to me.
2007-02-02 09:58:07 · 15 answers · asked by The Part Truth Xades 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Parents do not want her but her foster family (which is white the girl is lack; hint hit ; l ) have been spoiling her.
2007-02-02 10:06:47 · update #1
Sorry. The girl is black. The foster family is white.
2007-02-02 10:13:56 · update #2
yeah you need to discipline her
2007-02-02 10:00:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old you are, so this makes me wonder why you think that it's YOUR job to discipline her. What about your mother, whom you mentioned? Is she not willing, or able? Your cousin needs a lot right now, and loving discipline is probably much of what she needs, but I am not sure that you're the person to deliver it. Is it YOUR home, or your mother's, since you said that she's also being disrespectful of your siblings? If she wants to be a part of the family then she needs to be told the rules, again, if necessary, by the ADULT in the household, and if you are of age, then you should probably sit in to add some support. Be sure the rules are clear, as are the consequences. Ignoring her is probably not the best thing, as it sounds like she's been ignored by her parents and that is probably one of the reasons she's acting up now. Making a chart with rules, actions and consequences, that ALL the children must follow would be a wise thing to do as well, so that you have written back up that she can see. Good luck, as it sounds as though this young lady has had a difficult life already and is probably going to go through some more rough times. If you are Christian, try to share the Gospel with her, so that she has something to fall back on as times get rough.
2007-02-09 01:31:10 · answer #2 · answered by Pam B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do have to cut her some slack, but you do not have to allow disrespect. It sounds like she's had a tough life. She needs a couple of things now. 1, some therapy/counseling and 2, someone to sit her down and tell her the rules of life. She's probably learned a lot, that none of us have had to deal with, but she needs to be told that attitude doesn't get you anywhere. Don't say this to her when you or she is mad. You'll get nowhere. Just tell her you need to talk to her, and see what's going on in her head. Tell her the rules of the house and that she is expected to follow them too. If she can't go by the rules, then she won't be allowed to join your family any more. You can only feel sorry for someone so long, before they just push you too far away. Ask her if this is what she wants. Good luck.
2007-02-08 22:55:54 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Technically, you are your cousin's peer; you are not in a position to discipline her directly. Instead, you'll have to apply good old-fashioned peer pressure; if she doesn't want to be respecful to you and your family, you don't have to interact with her. Let her sit in a corner and rot if she likes.
Meanwhile, your cousin's parents should be told (via your parents) of this behavior; it's most likely just your cousin trying to be more independent as she enters puberty, but it could also be the signs of an anger or depression that should be addressed. Either way, it's up to her parents to deal with it -- but she's a person and so are you, so you're allowed to say things like "If you're not going to speak up when you talk, we're not going to talk at all" and walk away. After all, nobody can force you to interact with an unpleasant person.
2007-02-02 18:06:49 · answer #4 · answered by daveowenville 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is your family and I believe that even a cousin should discipline their cousins. It's not right and they need to be brought up to know that. She should respect you guys more than anything. Just send her back to her fosters and don't deal with it if it gets that bad.
2007-02-02 18:10:46 · answer #5 · answered by Candi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really don't think the color of your skin matters, but if she is living under your roof someone needs to make it very clear that there are some ground rules, and being disrespectful will not be tolerated there. she is a guest in your house, and there is no need of her being so disrespectful to your family, she should be grateful that she has family to live with, and someone to take care of her. set some rules and maker her follow them.
2007-02-08 18:36:51 · answer #6 · answered by Jamie Lynn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would pull her aside and what she just said. I wouldn't let it get off that easily by saying sorry, she will continue to do so. Talk to her parents inform them that she is being very disrespect full to you and your family and that it's very inappropriate.
2007-02-10 18:00:55 · answer #7 · answered by Patricia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
discipline and time out is what you need to do. Be stern and never allow a child to disrespect.
2007-02-10 16:37:42 · answer #8 · answered by Mo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I'm assuming she is an out-of-town guest. I would place a call to her parents. Let them handle it. You are not the parents....
Unless they give you permission to spank her little bum or place her on punishment, don't
2007-02-02 18:01:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you need to discipline her before it really gets out of control and you can't handle her.
2007-02-02 18:02:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if she is in your home visiting, the answer is yes. she should ( !!! ) respect your home and rule. if they are not hard to fellow.
what to say and do is up to you.
2007-02-07 14:15:20 · answer #11 · answered by J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋