I consider myself a decent catch, and apparently I'm reasonably attractive too. I've managed to make contact with a 5 or 6 women through an online dating site, and I've hit it off with about 3 of them. We talked for a little, and found that we had some chemistry. In all of these situations, we then agreed to meet for coffee, lunch somewhere. Everything went smooth, until the day of, and I'd receive an email / phone call and she had to cancel because she's sick/busy/blah blah blah. If they got cold feet, or decided I'm ugly or whatever the real reason they cancelled was, why don't they just TELL ME??!!!? See, when you say you're sick, it implies there will be a rescheduling of some sort, and that she is still interested. Most men (myself included) are to-the-point - why can't these girls just tell me what the problem is, and let me move on. That way I won't waste my time waiting for them to get better. I'm getting tired of being "let down easy". Any input would great.
2007-02-02 09:25:54 · 14 answers · asked by Spiderman 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I guess all of you are saying what I already assumed. I know online dating success rates aren't great, but there's not many places to meet girls where I am. Obviously there are girls, but I'm not one of those guys that catches the eyes of women. Regarding the "act nonchalant" advice, that has to be the hardest thing for me, and many guys I guess. I fall fast for kind, goofy girls, and maybe that's what I need to work on. I'll just keep playing the game I guess. Thanks again everyone.
2007-02-02 09:39:00 · update #1
Because the people you are talking to are immature.
2007-02-02 09:29:46 · answer #1 · answered by Jacuzzi Lover 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You never know what kind of women you're meeting at an on-line dating site. It sounds like something better came up for all of them, but I do agree it was very rude to break the date at the last minute. Next time, maybe try to get to know the woman better to see if she's the kind of person who will keep a scheduled appointment.
Unfortunately, in the dating world, nobody is direct. If they were, it would probably be a whole lot less confusing. Believe me, we women get our share too - like the famous "I'll call you" and the guy never does. But sticking with one's word and respecting other people's time are two important qualities in anyone, so if potential dates do not have those two qualities we're better off without them.
2007-02-02 17:31:39 · answer #2 · answered by Stimpy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know I completely feel ya on this one.
I've always said...give him a yes or give him a no...but never the useless "maybe".
As for the last minute cancellations...I would ask you to consider the source. You're meeting females "on line".
The only time that becomes a problem/ issue is when that safety net goes to get taken away, as in meeting in RL.
It's scary.
Everywhere we go these days we girls here warnings, don't give out too much info on line, be careful and whatever you do, don't agree to meet them in person.
These girls are scared. They tell you theyre sick or whatever because they like you and dont want to hurt your feelings. It's hard for some people to express themselves.
I'd be willing to bet if you were to get out and meet real life women as opposed to on line fantasies...you wouldn't be putting yourself through this torture.
You seem bright, and nice...go step outside into the fresh air...and when you least expect it...expect it. Good luck.
2007-02-02 17:38:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not you... what did you expect from meeting women on a site? I too had a friend meet someone on some dating site, and she had planned to meet up with him for lunch. The girl was so nervous she almost cancelled! Some women just can't stomach the actuall meeting. Maybe it just wasn't ment to be... If you continue with the site dating, try talking some more before you arange to meet up with them. Also remember there are alot of reports about women being abducted by a mysterious cyber friend. Good luck.
2007-02-02 17:32:49 · answer #4 · answered by kcdowling04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay Sweetie, get ready for some truth here. It sucks, reflects badly on women, and it ain't pretty - but it is completely true.
You are acting too interested.
Be more nonchalant and they will want YOU. Truth is, we all want either:
A. What we can't have
or
B. What the other women want
Make yourself less available, mention other women casually or something, CASUALLY. This is tricky and you will likely screw it up a time or two until you get it down, but it will work.
Please don't go thinking all women are evil, what I am telling you is true of most men as well. It is just psychology and I seriously doubt it is something they are conciously doing.
GOOD LUCK!! You sound like a great guy. Go get 'em tiger!
2007-02-02 17:31:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A big reason for it could be that you're trying to date online. Do you realize how DANGEROUS that is for women? Extremely. Their friends probably talked them out of it, because it's so risky. You also don't know for sure that you were really talking to women. Maybe it was some crazy old guy who couldn't actually meet you that'd blow his cover. I'm not saying you shouldn't date online, just be careful.
2007-02-02 17:33:23 · answer #6 · answered by yearofthebox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say definite cold feet. I really don't have an idea about the fake excuses. Maybe they think it's easier than owning up to the fact that they are too scared to meet you. We women are strange creatures.
2007-02-02 17:33:56 · answer #7 · answered by me! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dating sites are all bs. If you want a woman, try looking in the real world. The internet is for research and entertainment - not socializing.
2007-02-02 18:10:28 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. Reality 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the woman, but maybe they just had second thoughts or something. Could be that you said something that they didn't particullarly like, and if online dating isn't working for you maybe just try getting out more.
2007-02-02 17:30:09 · answer #9 · answered by I love Mirra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Jacuzzi Lover, they are immature
Or they were never 100% serious to begin with and never planned on meeting you in the first place.
2007-02-02 17:31:41 · answer #10 · answered by hunnybunny0324 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe they really are busy or maybe their nervous. It all depends. You never know. We can be tricky. Just don't ask her about it too much.
2007-02-02 17:30:49 · answer #11 · answered by A Girl With a Dream 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋