I'm the groom at an upcoming wedding. My future mother in law confronted me recently and told me, "I am paying the photographer $1,000 now and you and my daughter will pay the remaining $1,500 after the wedding with money you receive as gifts from guests."
I am not 100% sure who pays for what with weddings but I thought the brides parents pay for stuff like that. I did not object because I don't know who pays for what.
Who should pay for the photographer? The brides family? The married couple? The grooms family? Anyone know?
2007-02-02 08:47:59 · 25 answers · asked by catdub 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I feel that you should have more say in your own wedding .Remember this is your day! it is not usual for the groom to pay for the photographs out of wedding present money.That is irresponsible of someone to say that, how would anyone know how much money you will receive.You need to put your foot down and not allow others to make all the desicions.What does your future bride think?I think the person concerned has overstretched the budget,is this the type of wedding you want?What of the future ,stand up to others!
2007-02-02 09:15:27 · answer #1 · answered by Lindsay Jane 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that must have come as quite a shock. I have a couple of questions and some tips.
1. Has this issue been discussed before (who pays for photographer, cake, facilities, etc)?
2. Did YOU have any say in who the photographer was, or did your fiance's mom pick the photographer?
3. Can you financially afford to pay the photographer?
Traditionally, the bride's family is responsible for all the wedding costs, except for the Groom's tux, the honeymoon, and the rehearsal dinner. Now-days, many couples request their parents help pay for a variety of things, with the couple bearing most of the burdon. This should have been discussed before any plans were made.
I also wonder if your bride is aware of this situation. The Mother of the Bride can be a sticky situation, and I recommend you work it out as soon as possible.
With that said, if you were under the impression that the bride's family was paying for everything, and hadn't discussed it any way before, then you should be sure to take the time now to discuss it with your fiance. If you haven't been involved in any of the planning, then I wouldn't expect you to pay for the photographer that you didn't have any say in picking. It sounds like the MIL is feeling a bit put out, and if you want to have a happy life after marriage, you'll need to get this figured out.
2007-02-02 16:57:50 · answer #2 · answered by Susan B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How to Know Who Traditionally Pays for What During a Wedding
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"Who pays for what?" is a question that brides and grooms have been asking for generations. The traditional answers are listed below, but these days you can feel free to work out the best arrangement for both families.
Instructions
STEP 1: Expect the groom (or the groom's family) to pay for the engagement and wedding rings for the bride, the rehearsal dinner, the marriage license, accessories for the groomsmen, the minister's or judge's fees, the bride's bouquet, corsages for both mothers, boutonnieres for the groomsmen, and the honeymoon. STEP 2: If the groomsmen need lodging in a hotel or motel, the groom also absorbs those costs. STEP 3: Plan for the bride (or the bride's family) to pay for the groom's wedding band, the bridal gown, invitations, photography, flowers, and bouquets for the attendants and flower girls. The bride's family also pays for transportation to the ceremony and reception for the entire bridal party, plus all costs associated with the reception. STEP 4: If the bridal attendants require lodging in a hotel or motel, the bride pays this cost. STEP 5: Expect groomsmen and bridesmaids to pay for their tuxedos or dresses, plus any expenses they incur traveling to and from the wedding. Tips & Warnings
The bride and groom should each buy gifts for their attendants, and the attendants should provide gifts for the bride and groom.
Remember that you can work out the "who pays for what?" details any way you want. Your goal should be to preserve good feelings among everyone in the wedding party and to make your wedding day both affordable and unforgettable.
Be realistic about what you and others can afford. A $500 dress may put a large strain on a bridesmaid's budget - as well as on your friendship.
*** so to answer your question the mother in law should pay for the whole phography bill!!!
2007-02-02 16:54:09 · answer #3 · answered by DrPepper 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The old fashion way that the Bride family pay for the wedding
Modern time the Bride and Groom pay for the Wedding . If you're getting help take some Bride and Groom Don't.
Sign
Rosina's
2007-02-02 16:54:25 · answer #4 · answered by Rosina's Bridal & Decor 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
$2500 for a photographer? Wow, thats high, if you and your future wife are expected to pay for the balance, I would shop around alittle before committing. Did your future mother in law book the photographer herself? Traditionally, the bride's family pays for these things, but wedding rules are a grey area these days, with more couples marrying later, or living together before marriage, etc. The only thing traditionally the groom's family pays for are the rehearsal dinner, and alcohol for the reception, and I have heard flowers also.
2007-02-02 17:26:06 · answer #5 · answered by Lynny K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Traditionally speaking, the brides family does pay for stuff like that. However, it is not uncommon for the bride and groom to pay for EVERYTHING themselves. I don't know who hired the photographer, but this sounds very expensive to me. The person who hired them should be the one to pay the bill. You should never plan on using your wedding gifts as payment for any wedding services. Talk with your fiance and see what she is expecting the two of you to pay for. If your expectations and those of your future in laws vary, have a talk with them.
2007-02-02 16:58:43 · answer #6 · answered by orangeflameninja 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay, first of all, congratulations on your engagement! This time of your life can be so much fun!
Next you and your bride need to have a seat at the dining room table after you go online and get a free budget guide (I'll list some sites below) and discuss where you want your (as in yours, hers, and ours) money to go. Then talk about what kind of role she wants you to play in the wedding planning. What kind of role you want to play. AND what kind of role her mom should play.
Traditionally, the bride and her family pays for the photographer and videographer, but anymore it's kind of whoever can afford it pays for it.
Traditionally, the bride and groom use the money they receive as present to set up their household not pay off wedding debt, too.
Good Luck!
2007-02-02 17:03:12 · answer #7 · answered by ST 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In this day and age tradition is not always what is done anymore. With divorced parents, couples who are getting married older and who are already established in their careers... all the rules are changing.
What I always suggest my clients do is sit down and do up a detailed budget of everything that they are planning on spending for the wedding. Then sit down with both set up parents, show them your budget, and ask if they are able to contribute financially to your wedding and if so how much they expect to be able to contribute. That way there are no surprises when all of the wedding invoices start to role in.
Traditionally you are right that the family of the bride would pay for the photography but if you haven't had a conversation about who is paying for what then it is all up in the air. Have your wife sit down and talk to her mother. Also you should sit down with your family to see if they are willing to help out to take some of the financial burden off of your future in-laws.
Hope this helps!
Happy Planning!
Crystal
2007-02-02 17:06:57 · answer #8 · answered by www.crystalweddings.ca 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. Even though the bride's family is traditionally responsible for the wedding, but these days often the groom's family pays for different parts of it, like the rehearsal dinner. I honestly don't think the married couple should have to pay for anything, unless they made an extravagant choice that went far beyond the planned budget. You might sit down with your fiancee and discuss it and see how she thinks you should handle it.
2007-02-02 16:52:38 · answer #9 · answered by Lowa 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why not discuss it with your future wife? Every family has their own circumstances so I don't believe there is one right answer for all weddings. If it's unaffordable, tell your Mother in Law to be that you'd prefer to find a less expensive photographer. Of course, after you discuss it with your gal. Sounds a bit too pricey to me, anyway. Etiquette wise, I guess I really don't know. I believe it's the bride's parent's BUT again, don't fight over it. If the inlaws have a limit, maybe they should find someone who charges that amount. Congratulations!
2007-02-02 16:54:00 · answer #10 · answered by enjoyrselves 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋