My parents are saying that visiting me in jail was very tough for them and they don't think they can go through it again. I know there's the glass and stuff but it means alot to have them visit when you are just hoping for visitors to break up the day. I'm 21 and things were good before I was in jail but not so much since I got out and got into trouble again with a DUI on parole.
I'm having a tough time with my parents at the moment since getting out and now that I am probably going back in again when I go to court next week. I know what visiting is like when you're locked up but not really what it's like from the other side.
If you've been through it from the other side how did you find it if you've been through it?
2007-02-02 08:45:53 · 11 answers · asked by Jamie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Visiting a family member in jail is very heartbreaking and painful. That is why many people don't go - it is just incredibly depressing and sad to think be in that environment. My brother and sister both have been in jail and I literally feel a sadness and darkness when I go. Jail is not normal. Jail is not happy. It is oppressive and it is scary. Many family members have never been in jail, so to have to come into this uncomfortable environment to see their family member, who they are scared to death about, makes for a very sad situation. If they don't come as often as you like, don't think it has to do with you. They love you tremendously and think about you ALL the time. They are just to weak emotionally to deal with the difficult experience of visiting you in a place that they hate to see you in.
PS
Disregard all of the other BS answers. You don't have to answer to anyone, but yourself and God. I pray that you get your life together and that you become the person that God intends and that you have the capacity to become. If you need help with your alcohol, get help. It is doing nothing but causing your family grief. It is also destroying your life. God bless and God speed!
2007-02-02 13:33:29 · answer #1 · answered by TwinkaTee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well in my opinion, u seem like u have feelings which is good but u seem not to be able to keep yourself out of trouble and doing dumb stuff. why do u find the need to drink and drive. what happens if u really hurt someone how will u really feel. put the shoe on the other foot what would it be like if a drunk driver hurt ur parents. that would really make u mad. U need to stay behind bars as long as ur senteces gives u. then u need to get help. if i was ur parents i wouldnt even visit u to start with thats called tough love. which i dont think they should allow visitors to start with u messed up do the time. in ur parents mind they raised u better then that and ur disappointing them and they feel there a failure. i hope one day u learn ur lesson and if u want to drink. drink at home. ur poor parents. and maybe one day u will get ur chance to go through it with ur child on the other side, which i hope not to see what its really like. i for one never have went through nor i would because i wouldnt visit it would be hard. wish u well and best of luck in court.
2007-02-02 14:32:36 · answer #2 · answered by wishstar28 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe they are trying the tough love thing. If they don't come and see you or help you out then maybe you won't screw up again when you get out. I would have a really hard time seeing my child in jail. Not being able to give them a hug or anything. As a parent the most I want is for my children to grow up and be responsible and stay out trouble. That's probably how they feel too.
2007-02-02 08:54:55 · answer #3 · answered by precious1too 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You continue to do the crime. As a parent and you were my child I would of not gone to visit you at any jail, I had tried to get to stay out of trouble and you didn't listen. I would of left you in jail with out visiting or writing to you. You need to think of what you are doing and why you enjoy life in jail.
2007-02-02 09:35:56 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. Angel.. 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can understand it is tough for them, but you are their son, so they should visit you anyways. You obviously need a lot of help...and they obviously haven't been Parent of the Year if you keep ending up in jail at such a young age...they need to take some responsibility and help you figure out your life and get straightened out.
2007-02-02 08:55:58 · answer #5 · answered by iloveeeyore 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My brother is in jail and i hate going there u get treated like u r a prison like u might be hiding something. And then theres the sniffer dogs. Then u have to take your shoes off and any jewellery and hair bands u have on and u cant even have any body piercing on. And when your in there u get watched like a hawk and u cant even go to the loo without asking a guard to unlock the door for u. And heaven forbid if u get to close to the inmate they think your trying to pass something to them. All in all its a night mare.
2007-02-02 09:45:25 · answer #6 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is hard for the parents as well, to see their child locked up behind a glass. They can't touch, kiss or hug you. It is hard for them because they hate the fact of leaving you there. If being with your parents mean so much, you should do everything you can to straighten out your life. You do not want to be locked up and something happens to one of them. It will hurt you for the rest of your life. If you do not want to straighten up for you then do it for your parents because they do not deserve to put through this hard time.
2007-02-02 08:59:18 · answer #7 · answered by michellej 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is disappointing to see someone you know has so much better potential of being a well rounded adult in jail..... i worked for a jail. and i see it all the time.... You know what makes the difference, is saying i do not want them to see me here.... be ashamed of yourself....... Im not saying you are a bad person, but you like to have visitors..... concentrate on yourself this time..... Stay clean from alcohol.... let them see the difference in you... Volunteer for community service, and make an effort...Setting in a jail cell is easy... But make it your last trip.... make a difference in yourself for yourself...God Bless....
2007-02-02 09:04:03 · answer #8 · answered by wva_butterfly 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why do you continue to go back to jail. do what is right and u would'nt have to visit through the glass or in fact the worst part of all---putting your family through it .
2007-02-02 08:55:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
In their eyes you are a disappointment. Thier hope and dreams that they had when you were born are squashed. There is not much to be gained from visiting you and it is a reminder of such. They only hope that once you are through this you will go to them and explain why you realize you screwed up.
2007-02-02 09:00:49 · answer #10 · answered by jackson 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋