You've just left your spouse and it was a horrible breakup. Nobody in the family wants to have anything to do with you. Do you attend their grandparents funeral, sit with the family and try to go to dinner with the family after the funeral?
2007-02-02 08:41:36 · 28 answers · asked by mark my words 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This isn't me. It happened to someone in my family and I was wondering if anyone felt the same way I did..that the ex was an intruder on the familiy's grief.
2007-02-02 08:50:45 · update #1
It depends on your relationship with the deceased. This has happened to me and my ex's grandfather was a mentor of mine. We broke up years before but I still kept in touch with him, so when he died I went to the service. I didn't speak to the family I just went to pay my personal respects.
If it's going to be a big deal and cause fighting that you are there then I'd just reccomend going to the gravesite, or going to only the viewing. Another option is donating to a charity in their memory.
2007-02-02 08:47:05 · answer #1 · answered by iputtheirateinpirate 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Out of respect for the grandparents, I would definitely attend the funeral. You don't have to sit with the family or go to the dinner afterwards. If you don't, you may regret it for the rest of your life, especially if you had a good relationship with the grandparents.
2007-02-02 16:52:56 · answer #2 · answered by Forceof1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shoulg go to the funeral if you knew the grandfather well and want to pay your respects.We had this situation with my mums funeral.Ex partners came to the funeral which was what my mum would have liked.I would not sit near the family maybe on the opposite side unless you are prepared to mend bridges for the day with your spouse. Ask yourself about what the grandfather would have liked.I am not sure about attending the dinner.You would have to discuss this with your spouse.
2007-02-02 16:52:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it may be kind of hard to attend if no one is speaking to you. However, since it is a difficult time everyone should be able to put everything aside and come together as a family. You should attend if you were close to them, or if you want to do it out of respect for them. I think in the end people will appreciate the gesture of you being there.
Good luck!
2007-02-02 16:49:23 · answer #4 · answered by vivi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the family does not like you due to the break up then you should not go to the funeral nor sit with the family nor try to go to the dinner with them. Cut your losses and move forward with your life. Send a card and flowers with your condolences and leave it at that.
2007-02-02 16:51:42 · answer #5 · answered by michellej 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for your losses both the marriage and your spouses grandparents you cant be married to someone very long without getting feelings for their family
But
Since it was horrible be the bigger person and send a card and possibly a memorial donation to a good cause in memory of the grandparents
Be Strong
2007-02-02 16:49:08 · answer #6 · answered by caretaker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look i know you would feel uncomfortable but even if the family don,t like you,then you should still be there for the ex as a friend and if you don,t want to go to dinner after the funeral then thats fine atleast you went to the funeral.i feel that just because of a break up you shouldn,t be mean.
2007-02-02 16:56:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were invited then you can. Did the grandparents have a special relationship with you? Do you have children? If so then yes, you can go and bring the children. I don't know that I would want to go to dinner after with the family though
2007-02-02 16:46:13 · answer #8 · answered by echofayette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can go but seeing how no one wants anything to do with you don't try to be in the family part of it. Keep to yourself and honor the dead you are not there for the living. pay your respects and let it be. If you try and be a part of the whole "family thing" it might cause a scene which is not want you want to do.
2007-02-02 16:47:40 · answer #9 · answered by tweedy778 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you cared for the grandparents, by all means attend the services, but I wouldn't stay for the refreshments. Just pay your respects and go.
2007-02-02 16:44:59 · answer #10 · answered by Groovy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋