Toddler wakes up at night and destroys the house.?

Question

My 3-year old daughter has developed a very tiring and expensive new habit. At random times in the middle of the night, she gets out of her room and destroys anything she can get her hands on.

The fridge gets emptied (we've had to buy new food several times this month). As far as I can tell, she never eats any of the stuff, just dumps it out. (where the dog eats it and gets sick). This morning I got to clean up a lovely milk/orange juice mixture.
Anything in a container is taken out (lotion, cleaning products, etc). If she finds photographs, she tears them up. The wife's purse gets emptied. The one time we forgot to lock the bathroom door, she got on the kitchen counter, and my wife's seizure medications all went into the sink (a blessing in disguise, considering the alternative.

Her room has a gate, which she can climb over without me hearing even when I'm awake. We've tried everything. I really don't know what else to do, we're going broke and getting frustrated.

Ok, more details... She freaks out if we close the actual door to the room. I mean screaming at the top of her lungs until she looses her voice, and even then she continues to try.

We've tried one baby gate on top of the other. She climbs that as well, so we took it down before she falls from that height.

She's partially deaf, so her language skills are, well, behind. She recently started full sentances, but if you ask her a question she'll usually just repeat the question.

I've tried having her clean up the mess herself. Yesterday she spent 3 hours in the kitchen slowly cleaning up potato chips she dumped. This morning, a floor full of corn chips. So that didn't work.

We don't hear her making the mess... the wife's meds make her a deep sleeper, and multiple deployments have done the same for me.

I doubt it's sleepwalking, the one time I cought her in the act, she ran back to her room before I even said or did anything.

Answer 1

sounds weird but put a screen door that you can lock from the outside..that way if she cries you can still hear her but she can't get out.

Answer 2

Well, I just read ALL your other answers, and I agree with many of them (door alarm, baby monitor, child-proof the house as best as possible to protect your things and her, possibility of a sleep disorder of some kind), but there is one thing nobody has yet mentioned, and that is her hearing/speech condition. I keep remembering Helen Keller. I know your daughter is not blind and she is also not deaf, but remember that a huge part of the reason why Helen Keller behaved the way she did as a child was because she was unable to communicate, and that can be EXTREMELY frustrating. It's a major reason why some babies bite before their language develops. Are you using sign language? Even if she CAN hear, sign language can help ease the tension of not being able to communicate. I use a lot of baby signs with my 13-month old and my 2 1/2 year old, even though they can hear perfectly well. I also used sign language in a daycare center with the 2-yr olds and they LOVED it. They latched right onto it. If you aren't already using them, pick up a book about sign language and just start learning. The best way to do it is to just pick something you use a lot (like "eat" or "milk" or "please") and use the sign EVERY time you say it. Then gradually add more as she picks them up. I don't know if this will stop the night behavior necessarily, but I have a feeling it may help. She may be acting out of frustration.

Also, go to Elizabeth Pantley's website. She has some great ideas and tips for getting your child to sleep through the night (assuming this is not due to some sort of disorder). She has a couple of books about it that you might want to pick up ("The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers" comes to mind). She also reads her emails (through her site) and most likely WILL respond if you email her. I've listed her website below for your reference.

Good luck!

Answer 3

*****ORIGINAL POSTER (shiznannigan) USING DIFFERENT ID*****
I'm not sure if this is allowed, but I wanted to reply to some of the answers here.
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The baby monitor may be a possibility, but she's a very restless child... so if we did wake up, we'd be waking up even if she didn't get out of her room. Bells attached to the gate would just get played with from the inside as well.

We've also tried the door knob safety covers... they lasted roughly a day before she realized she can get her finger in the hole on the end and pull, and it pops off. She does this even if I super-glue the cover pieces together.

Her language skills are behind, but she's amazingly determined. She pried the electrical socket covers off in her room, so we put blank wall-plates over all her outlets. The next day, she had pulled two of them apart from the screws to remove them. I love that she's so ingenious, but she just keeps destroying things.

Like I said in the additional details, the time I cought her emptying the fridge, she acted like she knew she had done wrong. So I really doubt it's sleepwalking.

Answer 4

I suggest taking out the monitor again. Don't tell her what it is or where it is. This should wake you at her movement. As for the destructive behavior, at 3 yrs. old a child can understand when not to do something like this. Punish her every morning when you see what she has done. Time out, whatever. She needs tit explained that it is unacceptable and if it continues she will be punished. Take something away. I would invest in a fridge lock and remove everything dangerous out of her reach. It seems strange that she doesn't understand what she is doing. Give her more credit. She knows more than you realize.

Answer 5

Please make sure that this isn't a sleep disorder first!!!
If not....
You can try time-out. But I am guessing that won't work. I have a three year old son and a two year old. I can say that my 3 year old is able to understand discipline.

So my advise is to have consequences for her behavior. Try to make the punishment fit the crime. Like if she ruins the fridge, she doesn't get any snack between meals. If that isn't possible like when she ransacks the bathroom, she gets a favorite toy or video taken away and thrown into the garbage. Vocalize, "Because you dumped out Mommy's purse, I am taking away blankie." If you catch her in the act or if she screams "NO!" I would warn her that she will get a spanking if she doesn't listen. If she doesn't listen, spank her. I reserve spanking for direct defiance. Kids understand consequences better than you may think and consistency and follow through is the key. If you let her off the hook, she'll not understand limits and will test them all that much more.

I want to add: Why does she even have a bag of chips two days in a row if she dumps them? Give her one chip at a time...

Answer 6

Well it is time to get a lock on her door or a new door that is one of those that half can open ( the ones at many day cares) That is all that can I can say!! Other than getting another gate and putting in on top of the other one ( a cheap fix)

Most of the time it is sleep walking..my little brother did this and punishment is cruel because they do not know they are doing it.

The web site is called www.poshtots.com/ that will give you an idea of what it looks like.

Answer 7

Go to Walmart and get the door alarm that sounds when the door is opened. You can put it up high enough on the door that she can't reach it. Also put one on her window. The alarms are 4 for 10 bucks, so it's also a cheap fix.

You can't lock her in her room, what if there was a fire or other emergency?

Updated:
I still say go with the alarm, it doesn't necessarily have to be set when the door is closed, you just have to line up the magnates so that when the door is shifted it sounds.

Answer 8

My son used to do things like this... at the time I thought either he or I was going nuts! Now looking back on it I think he was sleepwalking and we didn't know it. Even now he is 11 and he will get up in the middle of the night to go pee but doesn't even know he's looking right at me - it's like he doesn't know me. He never remembers in the morning.
Once when he was about 2 I found him asleep on the kitchen counter in a puddle of black pepper. He had taken down the container and poured it all over the counter like sand and played in it, then fell asleep. Of course when he woke up it was in his eyes and burning so I had to put him in the tub clothed and all and rinse him off! Another time I got up in a panic because I couldn't find him and after me running around for a while like an idiot my 4 year old daughter found him curled up and sleeping on the floor of my (very small!) pantry with a loaf of bread in his lap (sort of). He had eaten through the middle of the loaf and all the crusts were still there, perfectly lined up like a loaf of bread.

Here is what we did (not at the advice of any doctors, as I said it took until years later to realize I probably should have talked to the pediatrician.
We put slide-bolt locks at the tops of all of our doors, including the bathroom, refridgerator, pantry, linen closet, anywhere there were dangerous things. We got special locks for the stove handles and oven door so he wouldn't blow us all up. At that time we were in an apartment so he had to share a room with my daughter. I was also limited as to what I could take out of the room because it was a small place with not much storage.
Something else that occurs to me now that I didn't think of then was to go to to Home Depot or look online for a motion detector alarm. Set it up so if she gets out of bed it will activate a beeping or something and wake you up. Then you can deal with her safely and get everyone back to bed.

For peace of mind I would talk to your doctor as well. Maybe there is something they know that people on Y! answers won't think of.

Good luck! I am sure she will not be doing this when she is 21.
:c)

Answer 9

Have you talked to your daughter about this? Does she remember doing any of what you have described? If she does, she is probably going through a rough time emotionally and to her, this is the only way she can cope with it. Try talking to her about it.

Also, a door alarm wouldn't hurt either, that way you can hear when she leaves her room and you can send her back to bed.

If she doesn't remember doing it, your daughter could have a sleep disorder, and could be sleepwalking when she does those things that you have described.

Answer 10

I would put a lock on her door that you lock from the outside and take everything out but her bed a few non breakable toys laid out to keep her busy. I used to get up at 4 am every morning and my parents didnt' get up till 7. They had puzzles out for me everynight and although I had a bad childhood and don't remember much... I do have a memory of peace. Of quiet mornings by myself. Of the quietness, the alone time and just doing puzzles. One of my few child hood memories. Mind you if I did that to my parents house they would have spanked me till I had bruises.. I would do the lock thing. She may throw tantrums the first few mornings... but when that stage is done you will have a nice routine

Answer 11

Boy, this sounds horrible. You could try several things to insure her safety and spare your bank account. I have seen on shows about parents with multiples, that they recommend put two gates up (one on top of the other) to keep wandering toddlers in. I would also recommend putting a lock on the refrigerator (you can find them at Babiesrus, and most hardware and drug stores. Also, get a lock box for all medications and put up all chemicals and personal breakable things up and away. You are fortunate that she hasn't taken upon herself to get out of the house. Also, you need to stock her room with stuff (puzzles, board books, etc.)to keep her interest in her room. Good luck!