Whats up guys.. me and this girl have been together for 7 years and there hasn't been any trust issues until now. Basically, we've been fine, and she wants to get on the volunteer police unit. Well a guy that I have bad blood with has been running into her every now and then. She told me that he could give her an application, and she could give it back to him. Well recently they have been text messaging each other back and forth I guess to set up a time when he could come give it to her and when she could bring it back to him. Well she deletes text messages from him as well as his calls. She doesn't want me texting him because she thinks I will "ruin her chances" by saying something. She doesn't want me there when he will come pick up the application either. I've talked to both her and him and they both deny anything and get mad and say there's nothing there.
Well, it's really getting to me. I can't eat, sleep, or even think about anything else, a million questions through my head.
2007-02-02 08:19:13 · 14 answers · asked by eric c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Today she said she would be done class by 2 pm, and I got called her at 3. I said want me to come over, and she said no, I have to run out. I said well I'll just come over, and she said no, I will be over the later.
Well, a few minutes later she told me she was going to meet him downtown to give him the application. I asked her if I could come and she said "no."
I'm worried, and paranoid. Do I end this or what? I've tried talking to her over and over about it and nothing is being solved. She still denies it but yet still deletes the text and won't let me go with her to meet him.
She said after she gives him the application that she has no other reason to talk to him. She and he both say there is nothing there. I tried to end it with her a few times, and I was thinking, if she did like him, she would of agreed and then started to date him, right?
I don't know what to believe. I am tired of waiting and asking her, I get the same answers, but still feels weird.
2007-02-02 08:19:53 · update #1
I've sat her down, talked to her, and things aren't still adding up. She doesn't call me much anymore, come over when she says she will. It's just all to weird.
2007-02-02 08:24:50 · update #2
You are going way too fast right now. Slow down. Give her a chance to get this application in. THEN worry later if that guy keeps texting her.
2007-02-02 08:23:11 · answer #1 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have no real evidence she has any romantic interests in this guy. You are just getting worked up out of jealousy. Stop it! You either trust her or you don't. If you don't, okay, but then you shouldn't be with her. If you do, okay, act like it. I'd have to understand she doesn't need you there watching every little move that's made while she is trying to get a professional position. I also don't like that the text's and messages are secretive. About the job, shouldn't be a big deal. Don't shoot the fireworks off until you know it's the fourth of July! Jealousy is very ugly and she will begin to see you very unattractive if you keep this up. Instead, sit back and watch, listen, don't be blindfolded and if you do find out something is going on, THEN get mad. Now, it's just assumption. Don't ruin a good thing until you find out it's not so good, then trash it!
2007-02-02 16:30:41 · answer #2 · answered by enjoyrselves 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are getting paranoid and reading too much because of the bad blood between you and this guy. They are being sneaky about it because they know how you will react...just as you are doing now. I say, she's been with you for 7 years and there has never been a trust issue. Don't let that change. Trust her. To get a good job in what you do, you need to network, even if that person is someone you don't like.
2007-02-02 16:24:35 · answer #3 · answered by Groovy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes I wonder if there is a jealousy hormone. There are a few signs there, yes. You have been seeing this girl for SEVEN years, though. If you don't trust her any more than this after seven years, it is likely that you will never trust her. If I am right about that, then it follows that you don't want to have a marriage with someone that you don't trust. AND, if I am right about that, then to continue a doomed relationship is a waste of time for you, and for her. Think about it. What do you really want, here. Could it be that you're a bit tired of her, unwilling to commit, and ready for something new in your life?
2007-02-02 16:32:28 · answer #4 · answered by Robert S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is being evasive with you as to her and this guy. Appears as if you tried everything with her to try and get her to reassure you and discontinue behaviour that is causing you anxiety and panic feelings. Bottom line, she is NOT taking you seriously and so continues to play on your emotions by putting your feelings on the back burner. Let her know that this will not be tolerated any longer. Tell her, " I love you, I have tried for you to consider how I feel and your actions have made it clear that we are still not able to work this situation through. Because I can no longer continue this way I am suggesting we have time apart. If in fact you decide to stop playing these games with my emotions, then call me then." Then do not call her or contact her in anyway. Let her respect the fact that you mean what you say, or she will continue to play with you and him. By doing this you force her into a decision and if she has any love for you then hopefully she will come your way. My best of luck to you!
2007-02-02 16:39:24 · answer #5 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well wait and see if things will change after get the Volunteer Job. Then if it don't change then tell her how you feel.and if can't understand then you should question whether she care about the Relationship.
And trust is a big apart of a relationship. So you have to Trust her. Until she give you a reason not to
Sign
Rosina
2007-02-02 16:28:28 · answer #6 · answered by Rosina's Bridal & Decor 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good lord seven years! Give the girl a break you are putting the horse before the cart. You have issues with this guy and she doesn't want you messing things up for her! maybe she deletes the messages because she is being nice to him and it will make you upset because she isn't being mean and she knows how you are. Don't ruin your relationship over something like this.
2007-02-02 16:25:56 · answer #7 · answered by mudd_grip 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have to admit that I did this sort of thing to my fiance once
I wouldn't tell him that I was thinking of leaving him but I would go and hang out with my old male friends from high school and completely blow him off.
At that time we had been together for 5 years
It took me nearly a month to realize how ridiculous I was being and I was more than lucky to have him trust me and not get angry with me.
If this situation feels wrong to you then talk with her about it, if she doesn't want to talk then tell her you have no other choice but to end it
You know what they say:
If you love something let it go.....
2007-02-02 16:28:39 · answer #8 · answered by hunnybunny0324 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep your eyes WIDE open! If she says after she gives him the application there will be no more contact then see if that really happens, if it still continues and she keeps acting wierd, talk to her about it! Jealousy can make you see too much!
2007-02-02 16:30:20 · answer #9 · answered by ♥AMO♥ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I went thru the same thing she is seeing him and playing you.She wants her cake and eat it to.The fact that she don't want you around when she sees him and also she puts you off to go see him tells you what she is doing.She may not have strong feelings for him it might just be a fling that's why she won't break up with you but she's stepping out you just have to trust yourself and go with it all the signs all their. Good luck n God bless
2007-02-02 16:34:52 · answer #10 · answered by buckeyecity_43215 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋