My 6 year old daughter crys everywhere we go. She cried everyday at preschool and kindergarten now she's in first grade and crys just about everyother day when we drop her off at school. She also crys at church when we drop her off. We are staying with my grandpparents right now and they spoil her so much. They think I should not worry about it. They say she just wants attention so give it to her. I give her plenty of attention, positive attention and think that she needs to learn that negative actions will not get her things. The thing is that she has told me that people real sorry for her when she crys and she likes that because she gets to help the teachers. I explain that to the teachers and caught on to her games. So what should I do? Why sometimes does she do fine?
2007-02-02 07:42:33 · 13 answers · asked by CHICK 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
She's already told you WHY she's doing it - so the biggest hurdle is already over! Have you tried Love & Logic? I empathize with your frustration. I have a six year old stepson & a 10 year old stepdaughter that do the same thing. It isn't healthy behavior. The last thing you want is for your child to grow up LIKING to be a 'victim'. This will only set them up for relationships (personal, professional and otherwise) where they are the weak partner.
Back to the Love & Logic comment - try empathizing with her (i.e., wow, that's a bummer) and then carrying on without acknowledgement. This keeps you from ignoring her & her feeling ignored...but it does not 1) condone the behavior; 2) enable the behavior. I'm glad to hear that the teachers understand what she's doing - that will help you, if no one is playing into her game.
Lastly, while I'm sure you don't want to hear this -- you need to get her out of your grandparents house! As long as you are not 'the boss' of the primary residence - she will never see you that way. A child sees that you are not actually who is in control (and let's face it - if you're living in someone else's home, then you're not) and doesn't feel the need to acknowledge your advice, rules, etc. Because the truth is - you are following someone else's house rules.
I am not saying it is a bad thing to live with your grandparents - but either they need to completely respect how YOU choose to bring up YOUR child (who by the way, you will be dealing with after you've moved out -- not them) or you need to try to find another living situation as soon as you reasonably can.
Good luck!
2007-02-02 08:22:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your Daughter is 6 yrs old. She will cry. Your daughter may be crying for the following reasons:
Bullied at School
Worried
Confused
Misses her mom and/or Dad
Does not understand school work and likes being taught individually
Not on Grade level
Some one at her school has told her about a divorce or abandonment and she is affraid it will happen to her
Why do you drop her off at church? Dont you go with her? Maybe you should change schools, somewhere she can get more attention because Public school doesnt pay that much attention to you childs needs. So here are sum schools to look into:
Montesori schools
Catholic Schools
Homeschools
Private Schools
Nanny
Hope your daughter is okay.
REMEMBER THIS MAY JUST BE A PHASE?
2007-02-02 07:51:14 · answer #2 · answered by gema=) 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have a 7 yr old that used to be like that. You need to give some more disipline. No abuse by hitting but spanking once in a while is ok. Tell her that you are going to send her to the corner or her room when ever she cries for no reason and that she can come out when she is done. Try stickers as a reward for when she does not cry and when she is going good on school work or chores etc.
Good Luck with whatever you do...
2007-02-02 07:56:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well you know why she is doing it. Explain to her in a way she can understand that crying for attention and special treatment is lying and not acceptable behavior. Tell her that if she does this manipulative crying, she can do it in time out. My daughter had me wrapped until I caught on and did not stand for it. She is now a very happy little girl who does not have tantrums and if she even tries I tell her we don't go for that here and walk away. It stops her instantly.
Kids are so much smarter than people give them credit for. It's tough to outsmart the little buggers sometimes. Good luck! :)
2007-02-02 07:58:01 · answer #4 · answered by crct2004 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes ignorance is golden.
Do you spend a lot of quality time with her? One on One time? This would be considered GOOD attention.
She is getting too much of the WRONG kind of attention. She should be flattered and fussed over when she is happy and charming. The WRONG kind is when she is fussed over when she's crying.
She has probably realised that she gets most of her attention when she cries. I used to pretend to be sick when i was young because i got to spend the day at my moms heels and every time i let out a whimper she would say oh baby i know it really stinks you're sick and fuss all over me.
When she cries try patting her on the head, or doing something only somewhat affectionate and not giving her all of the attention she WANTS by crying.
She may try to spend more time being cheerful and not trying to get focused on because something is the matter.
I hope this is helpful to you. :)
2007-02-02 07:53:11 · answer #5 · answered by Shhhh 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bribery! My 6 year old cried every day until I bribed her that if she could stop crying for a whole month she could have anything she wanted! And she wanted a Wash 'n go Barbie. The tears dripped down her little cheeks but she made no sound. It was hard - within a week the crying had stopped and she got her Barbie.
2007-02-02 07:47:09 · answer #6 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
HAHAH. i talked about the replay it grow to be humorous he grow to be possibility-free regardless of the reality that. He shoulda calmed down too. that grow to be loopy he busted the gatorade device contained in the dugout guy hes were given roid rage haha jk. He do not decide on to be actin like that hes a stunning good participant. And the ump wouldn't have suddenly met him first
2016-12-03 09:06:02 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Discipline her when she does something bad. Don't acknowledge her crying AT ALL when it's about something trivial. My parents always told me when I was getting out of line that the people around us must think that I'm retarded. That made me shut up real quick.
You might clue her into the fact that Santa doesn't exist anymore. Then let her cry it all out at once.
2007-02-02 07:55:10 · answer #8 · answered by Rob G 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should try to ignore her a little when she crys, so she knows she won't get attention if she crys. Good luck
2007-02-02 07:54:47 · answer #9 · answered by Abby 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her if she wants to get to be 7 years old she better stop crying or she will dry up and blow away, because all the water in her body is going out of her eyes.
If she is smart enough to manipulate teachers by crying then she is smart enough to understand that if all the water in her body leaks out through her eyes she will dry up and blow away.
If that doesn't work then spank her and give her something to cry about.
2007-02-02 07:54:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋