Me and my girlfriend are 17 and we found out a few days ago that we are expecting a child.?

Question

we both have mixed emotions about what to do, we both feel as if we are too young and hav'nt lived our lives yet but we dont think we could go through with the abortion because we will both be heart broken and are scared that we will regret it in later life we are both there for each other as we have been for 2 years and this is the biggest obstical yet we dont agree on adoption could we have some advice please from people that have already been through this our parents both know and said they will stick by us whatever decision we make.

Answer 1

I know how difficult this is for both of you.

There is an adoption agency located in Texas that will help you no matter where you live. They WILL NOT push you into adoption. They will help you make the right choice for you. Please consider contacting them and just talk about your options. Good luck what ever road you may take...

Answer 2

Your options are as follows:

1) Your girlfriend gets an abortion. I would never tell someone to get an abortion if she didn't want one, but ask yourself "Why do I not want one?" Yes, you may feel guilty, sad, lonely, and always wonder "what could've been?". But know that you will have the opportunity to have kids later in your life when you have finished school, learned many things, earned money, and had time to be young. Counseling could help you and your girlfriend move on with your lives and relationship after you have the abortion. At this point, your girlfriend is not carrying a baby. It is a little cluster of cells that does not resemble a human. Yes, it will become a human, but it isn't murder.
2) Adoption. This could be wonderful because a couple who has the love, time, patience, maturity, and money to raise a child could give your baby a great home. The downside is that you mentioned that you and your girlfriend "don't agree" on adoption. This also means that you will have to tell your parents, and your friends, families, teachers, and the community will all know about it. Additionally, you and your girlfriend will have 9 months of bonding with this baby which you will then give away. I've never done it, but I imagine that giving a baby away is very difficult to do.
3) You keep the baby and raise it yourselves. I think this will be the most difficult option of all. You are only 17. Believe it or not, you and your girlfriend probably won't survive raising a baby together. You will probably break up at some point and the baby will be raised by one of you, with the other committed to paying child support for the next 18 years. You may or may not finish high school. In all likelihood, you will not finish college. You may or may not find a job where you can support your family and be happy. You will not have much of a social life.
What if you have twins? What if your baby is born with severe disabilities? Will you get up in the middle of the night to soothe nightmares? Are you prepared to clean up vomit and diarrhea? Are you going to have insurance for this child? How will you handle it if your sweet little baby grows into a crazy teenager and gets pregnant herself? What if your child has a drug problem? Can you afford the diapers? The doctors visits? The clothes? The toys? Therapy if your child needs it?
In the end, the decision is up to you and your girlfriend. Think carefully, and choose wisely. I wish you both the best. Please seek counseling if things become too difficult to handle.

Answer 3

It's all a personal decision. I got pregnant when I was 17 and my then boyfriend was 20. There was no way I could have an abortion (although if that is the road you go there is no shame it's your decision), I had always wanted children and knew there was no way I could carry a child to term and then just hand them over to someone else. My parents and his mom (who'd had him young as well) were behind us 100% whatever we did. Our only naysayer was his step-dad who's opinion we both decided a long time ago wasn't worth the breath it took for him to make it. I have an inheritance that I was supposed to use for college tuition and now I'm just using it for that and housing and everything else. We both attend school full time, I work part time and my now fiance works full time, and our daughter is happy, healthy, completely fine. We live in a small but clean and safe apartment and we don't wear brand name clothes but they're clean. We're happy. It's completely dependent on your situation and who you are. I knew I was capable of handling this, with or without my fiance. I'd been through much worse before and was still in school and still college bound. But if you can't handle it, say so. It's better to be truthful now than walk away after the baby is born.

Answer 4

I believe that having an abortion is an easy way out and the wrong way. If you two chose to have sex and believed you were old enough for that part then you have accept responsibility for your actions. I believe that your best option would be to put the baby up for adoption even if you do not agree with it. It is a better decisioin then choosing not to give this baby a chance. There are so many people who can not have children and deserve them. If all of us were against adoption then where would these people stand in the world. They deserve to give love to a child. I have family members who had children as young as 15 and they chose open adoption. It has turned out to be the best thing for that child. They get to know who their biological parents are and who their adoptive parents are. What better for a child then to receive that kind of love. Just stand by each other as you have thus far and really think about what you think is best. Give this baby a fair chance at life.

Sinlge mom of one

Answer 5

The only thing that I can tell you is to talk it over strongly heart-to-heart between you and your girlfriend, any support you may have, and I recommend talking to a doctor or a counselor on what to do. Yes, abortion does effect the rest of your life......you'll always wonder...what if...! Adoption isn't that bad. IF you do choose adoption, be or make sure that it is an open adoption (I am going thru that one right now and both of my kids are on an open adoption and I can see them whenever I want to, as long as I and the other party is not too busy or has open free scheduled during their time) . Yes, it is the biggest obstacle yet. I would recommend watching the movie "Too Young To Be A Dad (or Father)" and that should make sense to you, and try to help you make a decision. Otherwise, talk it over and make the best decisoin for your baby's future, not just yourselves. I hope I helped. Good luck!

Answer 6

First, remember it's a decision that you both should make and agree upon. Sounds like both your parents are supportive of whatever you both decide, so that is very good. Whether abortion or adoption, it means you will give the baby up, so you have to decide if you both are willing to do that. If not, then you need to plan on how to bring the baby up. This is a big decision, and your first as parents. You will need support from both your parents so sit down and think about what your needs will be (shelter, food, education, career/goals in life, your new baby's needs and his/her future etc. etc.). Write it all out and form a plan as to how you are going to do it (including what help will be needed). Example, if you are going to go to school and or work, you will need a place to stay. Can your parents help? For how long? What will the ground rules be as far as staying with your/her parents? How long can you stay there? What will you do afterwards? Can they help with babysitting? etc.

Good luck, it's a tough decision and there is a lot to think about, but you can do it. Together.

Answer 7

it's very difficult to raise a child at that age, even though it seems like you know alot there is still so much out there to learn and just when you think you know it all a child will teach you that you know nothing. The biggest thing is to come to a decision togeather, personally I wouldn't suggest abortion because the woman who is having it may have huge problems in the future (psycological) If you keep the baby or go the addoption route is a tough choice, if you go the addoption route try to make it a private adoption where you get to pick the parents so you can make sure that your child will have the best future possible. good luck to you no matter what your decision

Answer 8

Nine months is a long time
This what you should do
Plan on keeping the baby and look in to adoption.
Talk to your parents and see if they Will help
Adoption is a act of love. You could look in the open adoption. Looking at adoption does not mean you have to go with it. You might find the perfect parents for you children.
You might realize you can not live with out the baby
You do not have to make any decision yet.
Look at adoption does not mean you do not love the baby
Keeping the baby does not mean you want to harm the baby
Look at both
At the end, you and your girlfriend will make the right decision for you.
Take care

Answer 9

I 'got pregnant' while I was in high school and was dumped by the sperm donor once I found out. I kept the child with no way of supporting him. I moved out of my mom's house, got an apartment, worked trivial jobs until I met a guy who I fell in love with and we moved in together. Now I have two children, work at an office, own my own home, have a nice car. It was hard to get here, but there isnt much in life I really need that I dont have. I would never trade my child for anything, he is wonderful. Selfish? No, not really in my case. It all depends how much you are devoted to that 'wife' of yours and how much of a man you are willing to be for her and your child. Age is just a number, people go to college all the time with children. Your parents say they will support you then that is wonderful. I never had that support. Unless you just really see no other way, you can do this. Dont listen to all that hype you hear about life and how hard it is - there is a certain audience it is aimed for, and I dont believe it is you. Good luck with your decision.

Answer 10

It is going to be hard on you but one of you must really step up here and finish school and get a good job to support the family. You should also get married it's important for the baby's sake. I was young like both of you are..but I also didn't have the support that you both have. I finished school and went to work it was hard at first but looking back now it was well worth it.This baby is a blessing whether planned or unplanned. I wish you both the best of luck it will be a long difficult road for you both but no one ever said life would be easy and you will see how worth while that difficult road will be. Congratulations on your baby and I'm proud of you for not taking the easy way out like most teens do and abort their baby's. My best to all three of you.
Momof4

Answer 11

i was 16 when i got pregnant with my first son.....I choose to keep him. I explored many many options and in my heart all along i knew i was keeping my son. He was a healthy little boy who has brought much joy to my life, he is now almost 7 years old and in the first grade. You can get through anything you want to get through:) i finished high school, while working 2 full time jobs. I went on to marry, and have 2 more children. You can make your life as happy and fulfilled as you want to. Theres nothing that can stop the love a child will bring to your life. You can make it work. There's alot of support out there. And no matter what you choose, think of my story. 7 years ago i was a teen mom. Now im a mother of 3, married to a wonderful man, own our own house. Goodluck on the choice you two make.