I am thinking of dating a guy he's 26 and a soldier in Iraq. I am 18 and a soldier. We met at drills. Do you think its a good idea?
2007-02-02 06:59:20 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Military
he comes home in june
2007-02-02 07:03:49 · update #1
I'm a Soldier. I'm going to tell you this not as a slap, but as experience in which I have seen. Dating him is okay, but if you rush into a marriage, you WILL, I repeat, you WILL get divorced. Being divorced in the Army is almost like a second MOS. I think I am the only one in my company who has not been divorced AT LEAST once (excluding those who have not yet married). You're 18, and he's 26. Either he came in late, or he's got some rank already. Tension will develop due to different levels of understanding of the rank group you are both in. Plus, you're only 18, probably VERY horny, and will be SUPER tempted when you deploy.
All I'm saying is, the statistics are not in your favor. But, good luck, and live your life the way you want to.
2007-02-02 07:08:46 · answer #1 · answered by rawlings12345 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Speaking from experience, it can be a bad idea to date someone in your Unit, because if the relationship doesn't work out, your still working with the person in close proximity. But, after saying that, as long as your in the same peer group then it would be OK either in the Active or Reserve forces.
Relationships often don't last post deployment because one or both parties have developed an unrealistic expectations during the deployment and it dooms the relationship.
I'm a Soldier and I don't see that most marriages end in divorce. I've been married for over 10 years, my boss has been married for 26 years, and none of my Soldiers are divorced.
2007-02-02 15:18:52 · answer #2 · answered by Jim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eight years age difference for older, more mature people is not a big thing, but at eighteen and just starting out in the adult world that eight years can be a big difference as far as maturity is concerned. Twenty year olds should be more your speed and intelligence level, a twenty six year old has had a lot more life experiences, this will distance you from each other.
You do have two or three areas of compatibility that can get the relationship off the ground. 1) Apparently, there is physical attraction to each other. 2) The common interest in military life will offer some compatability. 3) The gender mix is healthy for a heterosexual relationship. This is all good, but what will you talk about, with each other, for the next fifty years!
2007-02-02 15:33:20 · answer #3 · answered by briang731/ bvincent 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't. Not because of the age but because of the rank. If there is any difference. Plus if you haven't been to Iraq well he will come back different then you think he will. He would have seen things and will not be able to share with you everything. If you are cool about secrets and can deal with him changing then I say stick by him but ask yourself a few Q's what your looking for from him and from your relationship, and if you can talk to him and he can talk to you then go for it but remember each deployment comes more and more changes and more and more relationship issues which make being together much hard then any other relationship its going to take work work work... good luck.. god bless
2007-02-02 15:13:03 · answer #4 · answered by tlcoufan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can think of multiple reasons why it's a good and/or a bad idea:
--Women and girls, in general, mature must faster than men and boys, so that's in your favor.
--Young people who join the military mature faster than those who don't, male or female.
--Young people who serve in combat or are otherwise deployed mature faster than soldiers who haven't, male or female.
--He's got 8 years on you and has had 8 years' worth of time to mature on a chronologic basis alone.
In summary, he's got more, overall life experience in some areas than you. And, romantically, he has surely been around the block a bit more as well. Otherwise, for all the other reasons I've listed, you've got quite a bit in your favor.
So, I'd say that if a spark was originally there after you first met, then do continue to explore it. I think it's definitely worth it to do so, but don't be surprised if either of you feels "too old" or "too young" for the other.
2007-02-02 15:21:32 · answer #5 · answered by answerme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Military relationships can be very challenging, especially if he's there, you're here AND if there is such a big age difference. Wait until he comes home and gets settled back into stateside life and see how it goes. In the meantime, go out and meet some other people.
2007-02-02 22:28:20 · answer #6 · answered by Julie N 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say go for it if you both feel it is right. However you may want to verify the regulations as far as the military and your ranks/command structure/etc. I know in the Navy it was either one up or one down, meaning you could only date those that were either one rank above or below you.
2007-02-02 15:13:17 · answer #7 · answered by Flynn380 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think that it is a good idea personally NO. Mainly becuase of the age and I would imagine that there is a rank diff as well.
2007-02-02 15:16:37 · answer #8 · answered by cowboysfan4lyfe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably not. Just keep in touch til after you are both out of the military. That can put a lot of stress on your relationship.
2007-02-02 15:08:12 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you can keep it professional why not?
Regular Army does it all the time.
Meeting at drill I'm assuming you are guard or reserve correct?
2007-02-02 15:03:28 · answer #10 · answered by kittenbrower 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋