My bf is so laid back and so chilled out till its making me crazy. We recently purchased a home together and I am doing the lion's share of the work. I have spoiled him rotten.
I think that his parents, who he lived with before buying the house with me also spoiled him rotten.
Now, he's a great guy!!! He does anything in his power to make the best happen for us. But, here's the problem, everything that I want done in the house, I have to ask or suggest first. It's like he doesn't see that the door needs to be fixed or the dogs need to be walked or whatever...He's a great guy, like I said but the only way anything gets done in the house is if I ask or suggest it?
Am I being unfair? I am tiring of asking for the obvious. Help, please.
2007-02-02 06:35:47 · 7 answers · asked by TygerLily 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
well, get used to it..... my husband, bless his heart, told me early on..... "if you want something done, ask me, I will do it. But, I doubt I will ever just do it without you saying so." Example - I say, "Honey, take out the garbage for me, I need the can emptied in the next few minutes." Then he does it..... If I had said "Honey, will you take out the garbage?" then likely he would have mumbled under his breath "no" and keep playing his video game...... What you are gonna have to do is say - "Honey, we need to paint this room. I picked up the paint at Lowe's, it's in the trunk, please go get it while I start throwing the drop clothes over the furniture." They are like children, I swear. Men do NOT take initiative to do things around the house (as a general rule) and be thankful sometimes or else everyone's house would look like Tim the Toolman... be gentle but firm...... and always always always tell them how much you appreciate what they do........ eventually they may start to do some things on their own just to get that loving attention.
2007-02-02 06:56:25 · answer #1 · answered by Just me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know, when I lived in Germany I witnessed couples "building" their house together and separating after the house was finished. Too much arguing while they were building the house- I guess. Your house will always need fixing- obviously your bf is not a handyman kind of guy. It seems that you are the only one who sees when works here and there need to be done-.... so, why not do it yourself? After all- he is a "great guy" and "does everything in his power to make the best happen", right? Home depot teaches people how to do repairs ... make him proud and become a handyman yourself, so he can say that his girl is an "awesome" lady.
2007-02-02 06:55:23 · answer #2 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you said it you and his parents spoiled him rotten now you have to live with it as he has learned that if he doesn't do it you probably will. If you sit him down and explain that these are the new rules he will be justified in saying that is your problem I never had to do that before, I like what I am doing so get over it. You created a monster now you have to live with it, unless you can come up with a way to make him see and want to change.
2007-02-02 07:57:11 · answer #3 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what's obvious to you is not obvious to him. Women and Men look at things differently. He's not going to change, so learn to live with it happily or be miserable and turn into a nagging harpy or move on.
On the other hand: I'm not sure how things really work in your relationship though...you've repeated several times that he's a great guy, but you also said you spoiled him, his parents spoiled him...etc. Is he just a lazy bum?
BTW, it wasn't very smart to buy a home together as bf and gf.
I hope you got an agreement or splitup clause.
2007-02-02 06:42:50 · answer #4 · answered by VodkaTonic 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You sound just like I did when I first moved in with my fiance. I have to ask him to do anything around the house, and it still does drive me nuts. But it's one of those things you have to ask youself if he's worth it. And if it is worth it to ask him to get anything done. I don't mean to be sexist, but in my experience it seems like men just walk by these messes and honestly do not see them.
Have you talked to him about it? If he knows that it bothers you this much, maybe he'll try to change. Or else you just need to get use to asking him to do things. My fiance even offered for me to write out a list for things for him to get done, so he has no excuse then... maybe give a friendly suggestion about writing a list for him?
2007-02-02 06:47:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's too laid back and isn't focused on what needs to be done. Therefore he needs to be told and reminded.
2007-02-02 06:40:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What wrong with the asking, you ask he do. Or rather he ask you do.
2007-02-02 06:51:10 · answer #7 · answered by ButterMilkQueso 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋