Here's the deal.my sister has bothered me with my wedding planning, not purposely, but has been picky with everything because she's pregant and is due within 2 months of my wedding date. There's not one particular thing, it's just her attitude about our wedding in general. My fiance told me that he was going to call her and talk to her about it if she said one more thing negative about it. And of course I opened my big mouth and said she mentioned that she didn't like one of the meal options we're offering, and he's like, that's it I'm calling her to talk to her. He was calling her to remind her that it is my day and to start being supportive. I told him that I didn't really want him to, but he called her when he was at work and left a message saying he'd call back. So, my sister called me and asked me why he called. And I was caught off guard and told her the truth.Now she's mad and assuming that he was going to talk harse to her and he's not allowed over there.Was he disrespectful?
2007-02-02 06:15:29 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would 1st like to wish you and your fiance a healthy and happy life together. Your fiance should not have called your sister. By him doing that he created an issue between him and your family. You are now in the middle & have one more thing to deal with. You deal with your family and let him deal with his. Any problem or unexceptable behavior you and your finance need to talk about it and who evers side of the family it is that is the person who deals with it. Even though your fiance is right it is your day and she should be supportive it would have gone over better if it came from you. This peace of advise is not only for your wedding day this is also for a happy marriage. Rember you yell at your family it blows over if he acts the same it will not go over as well.
2007-02-02 06:53:08 · answer #1 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was right in telling her to back off... but this was your job, and you should have stepped up. You were being something of a doormat and letting your sister stress you and your fiance out. At some point you should have told her, politely but firmly, that you appreciate her concern, but it's your wedding and you only want to hear positive, supportive comments from her.
By waiting and hiding from this simple conversation, you've let it turn into a huge emotional issue. Tell your sister you're sorry it came out this way, but your fiance was just trying to protect you; tell your husband to call the sister and apologize if he hurt her feelings, but that he cares more about YOUR feelings, as a good fiance should. Then tell the both of them that all this petty bickering ends NOW, so you can all enjoy the happy birth/wedding times ahead.
2007-02-02 14:36:06 · answer #2 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well no I don't think he was. She's your sister you should have been the one to set her straigt anyway, you should have done that the moment she started acting that one, being pregnant may make you cranky but it doesn't turn you into a jerk. The fact that she's mad at him for trying to speak up for you is just ridiculous. If he's not allowed over there than maybe she shouldn't be allowed to your wedding. Don't allow her to help with anything. Her attitude is bad. She's probably just jealous because everyone is making a fuss about your wedding but not about her pregnancy, your fiancé isn't wrong. But you're sister has this attitude for a reason, you talk to her and see what it is. If she doesn't want to talk it out then maybe you two should have someone else help you! Good luck hon!
2007-02-02 14:21:48 · answer #3 · answered by April 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He should have let you handle it. He created a mess where you did not need one. Talk to your sis and tell her that the stress of the wedding is getting to you and your fiance and that not to take anything personal. If she still has an attitude then forget her. Just because she is pregnant does not make her the center of the world. Also tell your fiance to talk things over with you before he does anything like this because you are the one who is going to suffer in the end.
2007-02-02 14:24:05 · answer #4 · answered by Michael K 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All of you need to take a step back and take a deep breathe.
Your sister is in no condition at the moment to make good choices about your wedding....she's getting prepared to bring a new life into the world.
Find someone else to bounce ideas off of.
Your fiance needs to apologize to your sister....I think he was out of line.
2007-02-02 14:24:04 · answer #5 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should have left it between you and her but at least it's out in the open. Remind her that it is YOUR wedding. SHe is probably jealous because the focus is on the wedding and maybe she doesn't feel you're paying enough attention to her pregnancy and baby. Let her know that you care and to try to butt out of your wedding planning!
2007-02-02 14:43:46 · answer #6 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fiance should've allowed you to talk to your sister about her negative attitude! I understand that your fiance wanted to stand up for the both of you, but you need to find a better way to resolve this issue than to make matters worse by having your fiance call your sister and complain about her negative attitude. Talk to your fiance about it, then talk to your sister as well.
2007-02-02 14:32:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't think your man was disrespectful.You man was doing what was right for you, on your behalf. Let him be a man. Don't knock him down for that. It's your sister pregnant or not she needs to stay out of it. A long time ago you should of counsel her out of your wedding planning. You should of never let her get involve all she should got was the invite to go. Let me ask you are you sure your ready to become this mans wife. You need to decide are you going to be scared in take orders from your sister or be this mans wife. If your going to stick up for your sister over your man you don't need to be married. You need to read ten stupid things couples to to mess up the relationship by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger read this before you get married, in it won't hurt for your man to read it.
2007-02-02 14:32:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a way yes he was disrespectful of you, not your sister. If you asked him not to call her and he did, that's not showing respect for your feelings. I think you should sit and talk to your sister about how your feeling.
2007-02-02 14:28:43 · answer #9 · answered by Jaime A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your sister was being a bother, you should have handled it. You weren't being very mature when you didn't deal with your family problems, dumping them on your husband-to-be, and forcing him to deal with it so he didn't have to listen to you complain about your family any more. You should have handled it with her, or quit reporting back everything to him.
Everyone was being equally disrespectful to everyone else, but at least your man tried to resolve the problem-- no one else did.
2007-02-02 14:24:35 · answer #10 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋