2007-02-02 05:53:50 · 17 answers · asked by zieglerjoshua 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
The Wide Mouth Frog >:)
A wide mouth frog was hopping through the forest.
He met a squirrel.
(Put your index fingers in the corners of your mouth, to make a really wide mouth (frog effect )as you talk - only for the frogs speech.)
"Hello, what are you?" said the wide mouthed frog.
"I'm a squirrel and I eat nuts." said the squirrel
"I'm a wide mouth frog & I eat flies." The wide mouth frog replies as he went on his way.
He met a pig.
"Hello, what are you?" said the wide mouthed frog.
"I'm a pig & I eat nuts." said the pig.
"I'm a wide mouth frog & I eat flies." The wide mouthed frog replies as he went on his way.
He met a goat.
"Hello, what are you?" said the wide mouthed frog.
"I'm a goat & I eat grass." said the goat.
"I'm a wide mouth frog & I eat flies." The wide mouthed frog replies as he went on his way.
He met a badger.
"Hello, what are you?" said the wide mouthed frog.
"I'm a badger & I eat wide mouthed frogs." said the badger
(Take your fingers out of your mouth for this bit of the wide mouthed frogs speech, and make your lips as small as possible!)
The wide mouthed frog replied, "OooO, you don't see many of those around, do you!!!!", as he hopped away
2007-02-09 20:55:07 · answer #1 · answered by RAGGYPANTS 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not the funniest 'ever' but I'll tell you the best I've heard of recent - A man walks into a pub and sits down. The barman asks if he would like a drink, he thanks him and asks for a beer. They talk, and joke and once the man has finished his drink the barman requests his money. The man, however, refuses. He replies 'I came into this bar, and you offered me a drink Now, you mentioned nothing about money. If you were to walk into a bar and get offered a drink, would you expect to have to pay afterwards? Look, I'm a lawyer. You can take this further, but I can tell you this for free - you don't have a leg to stand on.' The barman, apoplectic, demands the man leave and never come back. The man does so. A week later, the same man returns to the bar. The barman immediately demands he leave once again, yelling the odds at him and rambling about how he had conned him out of his money. However, the man looks baffled. 'I don't know what you're talking about. I have never been here before in my life.' At first, the barman refuses to believe it, but eventually he does and looks a little embarrassed. 'Oh. Well then..I am sorry. You must have a double.' 'Thanks'. replied the man, 'I'll have a whisky'.
2016-05-24 05:37:02 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you catcha polar bear alive? First you saw a hole in the ice then put peas around the hole bc polar bears like peas. Then hide behind a rock and wait until a polar bear comes along. When he starts to eat the peas run up behind him and kick him in the ice hole!
2007-02-09 16:56:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two aliens land their spacecraft in front of a Petrol Station, and walk up to the pump out in front. One Alien says"Take us to your leader....", to which there was no reply. "Take us to your leader!!" and still no reply from the pump. "Take us to your leader, or I'll blast you with this!!", and he points a raygun at the pump, who still hasn't said a word. "FINE!!!!!!!!!!!", and he shoots, blowing the entire building sky-high. When the Aliens come around,
( several miles away!) The second alien looks at the other and says," I knew that was a bad Idea!!". "And why is that?" he asked. "Cuz anybody who can rap their pecker round them twice and stick it in their ear is one bad boy!!!!!!!"
2007-02-06 14:05:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
one from spongebob
"there once was a man from peru,
who dreamed he was biting his shoe.
he woke up with a fright
in the middle of the night
to find that his dream had come true"
2007-02-08 15:54:13 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there was a old man walking the hospital corridors with his penis hanging out of his p.j.s. everyone he would meet ,he would say ***** dead ***** dead
a nurse finally came along and she asked him.
if dick is dead .why is he still hanging around down there? the old man looked at her and said
its the public veiwing
2007-02-10 05:03:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is the difference in beteen the north pole & the south pole? the answer is all the differnece in the world.
2007-02-10 04:43:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A pirate walks in a bar. He has a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender says "Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?"
The pirate says "ARRRRR, it's driving me nuts."
2007-02-10 05:30:21 · answer #8 · answered by majnun99 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there once was a man named tarr
who's hand got stuck in a jar
he asked his wife
to get him a knife
instead she bought him a car
2007-02-10 00:18:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
there once was a man from china
he was a good rock climber
he slipped on a rock
it cut of his co*ck
and now hes got a vagina
2007-02-09 13:05:00 · answer #10 · answered by Harry M 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋